“How dare you have the audacity to put on this ode to the 90s outfit without wearing a velvet choker, you rude, thoughtless, little pig!”
You know that voicemail from 2007 that you used pieces of for your ringtone? In the voicemail, Alec Baldwin nearly charred his tongue by rage screaming into the phone at his then 12-year-old daughter Ireland Baldwin for not returning his calls. Page Six Magazine asked a now 16-year-old Ireland (seen above with her dad in July) about that crazy shit, and she brushed it off and said the entire thing was blown out of proportion the same way Alec blew his anus off while Mel Gibson-ing into the phone at her. Kim Basinger’s doppelgänger daughter went on to say:
“The only problem with that voice mail was that people made it out to be a way bigger deal than it was. He’s said stuff like that before just because he’s frustrated. We almost did something funny on YouTube, of me calling him and yelling at him.”
Ireland continued to defend her daddy’s acts of HULK rage by saying this about his wonderful relationship with the paparazzi:
“My dad has been going through it for so long, I can see how he gets frustrated. If acting or modeling takes off, and I make a name for myself, I can see how I might get pretty frustrated.”
I think what Ireland Baldwin is really trying to say is that she’s saving her thoughts on this mess for her Mommie Dearest-like tell all. I hope. In the meantime, every time she gets a voicemail from her father, she just feeds a bunch of spicy Indian food to a snarling pit bull and watches it fart out a ton of hot air. It’s the same thing and less painful on the ears.