And Just Like That, The Streets Of L.A. Are A Little Bit Safer

September 6, 2012 / Posted by:

It only took one DUI, and I don’t know how many crashes, but the DMV has finally taken Amanda Bynes’ drivers license, put it through the shedder and thrown its remains into the shallow ditch next to her career. The drivers of Los Angeles no longer have to make the sign of the cross and call their abuelita to tell her that they love her every time they see a black BMW speeding toward them.

The Los Angeles Times says that the DMV finally got the hint after the city attorney threw one drunken driving charge and two hit and run charges at her. Bumper Car Mandy’s days of bumping cars are over and humanity is hoping that she’ll use her one tattered brain cell to make a good decision and not drive on a suspended license. So she’ll have to take the bus (where she’ll accidentally knock into the driver causing him to crash into a car), ride a bike (which she’ll crash into a pedestrian and keep riding) or get a ride from Lindsay Lohan. Seriously, every time a DMV worker is about to hit a bitch’s drivers license with the SUSPENDED stamp, they should ask themselves, “Why in the name of innocent toddlers in strollers am I not doing this to Lindsay Lohan’s drivers license?” 

And I really hope that President Obama scrapped his entire DNC speech and will talk about the injustices brought upon Amanda Bynes instead.

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