American can’t resist getting deep into Mama June’s “Michelin Man meets Stay Puft” chins and so Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has become one of The Learning Channel’s biggest hits. More people watched gnats nom nom at Mama June’s Forklift Foot than watched Paul Ryan talk at the Republican National Convention. This obviously means that Mitt Romney chose the wrong running mate and he should’ve picked Mama June’s Forklift Foot instead.
Mama June, Honey Boo Boo Chile, Sugar Bear, Chickadee, Snickerdoodles, Piggypine and Liver Lips McGrowl (or whatever the hell those girls’ names are) would probably be happy if TLC paid them with a tub of cheese balls, a season pass to Hometown Buffet and a six-pack of stale cupcakes bought at a food auction, but TLC pays them with money. The Hollywood Reporter says that the entire family makes around $4,000 an episode and that means they make $40,000 for a full season of 10 episodes. But wait, Mama June tells TMZ that The Hollywood Reporter is wrong, because TLC has stuffed a lot more than $40,000 into her chin cleavage. Mama June wouldn’t say how much the family gets paid to fart and scratch at their neck fungus, but she says it’s a whole lot more than $4,000 per episode.
$40,000 does buy a lot of baby formula (aka Mountain Dew), but when this mess gets renewed, and it will get renewed, I’m sure they’ll make a million more coins. Mama June’s Forklift Foot deserves to get paid more than scale! So next season, expect to see them riding around on Cadillac four wheelers, eating Cheetos instead of Sam’s Choice cheese balls and expect to see a coat of Chanel nail polish on Mama June’s gnarly Quasimodotoe.
(Picture via Tumblr)