Paul Haggis Co-Signs Vanity Fair’s Story On Scientology’s Beard Grooming Procedures

September 4, 2012 / Posted by:

Oscar-winning movie director Paul Haggis was a disciple of L. Ron Hubbard’s alien magic for 35 years, but he quit those crazy bitches over their support of Prop 8. Ever since then, Paul has been publicly dragging Xenu all over the place and he doesn’t seem to care that Scientology most likely has a dirt ditch in their backyard with his name on it. Every time a Scientology goon comes at him, he just points his finger behind them, screams “It’s E.T.!” and then runs to hide in the Big Gay Ice Cream truck (since Scientologists will never go into a place with ice cream AND gays in it).

After Vanity Fair put out an excerpt on their story about the search to find the third Mrs. Tommy Girl, Paul co-signed their story in an open letter he gave to Showbiz411. Vanity Fair claims that actress Nazanin Boniadi, who was a Scientologist at the time, was audited to become Tommy’s third robot beard, but she was kicked out of the running after it was decided she wasn’t famous enough. When Nazanin told a Scientologist friend about dating Tommy, Scientology punished her by making her dig ditches.

Scientology went to their publicist robot, hit the “canned denial” button (fun fact: their publicist robot only has one button and it’s the ‘“canned denial” button) and the publicist robot told UsWeekly that Vanity Fair’s story is a shit pile of lies. But Paul Haggis says Vanity Fair’s story is completely true, because he’s friends with Nazanin and knew about this story for a long time:

I’ve known Nazanin for about three years. I met her through a mutual friend when I was doing my own personal research into the allegations against Scientology, before I wrote my letter of resignation. Naz was embarrassed by her unwitting involvement in this incident and never wanted it to come out, so I kept silent. However I was deeply disturbed by how the highest ranking members of a church could so easily justify using one of their members; how they so callously punished her and then so effectively silenced her when it was done. It wasn’t just the threats; they actually made her feel ashamed, when all she had been was human and trusting….

After I wrote my resignation letter, a dozen or more “friends” and officials of the church repeatedly descended on me to demand that I destroy the letter and resign quietly. I told them that wasn’t an option for me. I also told them that I had more sources of information about the troubling nature of the organization then I was at liberty to divulge. This was one.

I’ve met quite a number of people who have been treated shamefully but are afraid to speak out. This story will draw attention because of our fascination with celebrity. Most of the others are just ordinary people whose stories, if told, would not appear in a magazine. They live in fear of retribution, legal, financial or personal, even some famous ones. They fear an incredibly wealthy organization that boasts that it seeks truth, empowers people, brings families together, encourages independent thought and free speech, and champions human rights. I would like to say that i don’t know how its members, many of them good and intelligent people, can remain so purposely blind when they are faced with evidence like this every day, but then I am no one to talk. I was happily blind for many years, so I know the shame that Naz feels.

In Naz’s case, she has no right to feel ashamed. She is not only a terrific actress at the beginning of a very promising career, she is a dedicated human rights activist and a truly lovely and caring person. The last thing she wanted or needed is this kind of publicity, but here it is, and I am sure she will deal with it with the same grace and dignity she exudes in her daily life. I’m appalled that any church would treat its parishioners this way, but Naz has never cast herself as a victim. She is strong and resilient and I am very proud to call her a friend.

And FYI, in case this wasn’t clear, Naz quietly and privately resigned from the church a couple of years ago after several years of trying to handle this injustice internally, to no avail.

It’s not hard to believe Vanity Fair’s story, because it’s old news and everyone knows Scientology is crazier than a flaming bag of raccoon dicks. But what gets me is how bad at matchmaking they are. Scientology can’t matchmake worth shit. Naz was a failed match and Katie Holmes was really a failed match. It’s not hard, either. They just need to find a beard who’s shorter than Tommy, is a theatrical queen like him, has a mind that lives on another planet and won’t ask questions when he comes home smelling like a passed around man butt dildo. The answer is simple: Liza. Liza Minnelli should totally be Tommy’s next beard. Liza with a Xenu!

Here’s Tommy having dinner with the owners of the Washington Redskins and posing with “fans” in Croatia over the weekend.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >