Lady Godiva Ain’t Got Shit On This

September 4, 2012 / Posted by:

Most of us mere mortals eat the ground with our hands when we try to walk in a pair of exquisitely crafted lucite platform stilts, but Shauna Sand isn’t a mere mortal and she has proven this time and time again by floating on sand, making a Segway her chariot and taming a wild bike in Miami. The Empress of Lucite did it again yesterday in Venice, CA when she gave us something out of Goddesses Got Talent by riding another bike in a pair of colored lucite heels that will be put into a time capsule on the eve of the apocalypse so future civilizations will see that our people had impeccable fashion sense.

Shauna and her topless piece rode through the streets of Venice while her subjects wished that they were born as a seat on a rented bike. Actually, I’m not even sure if Shauna is sitting on a seat. She probably ripped the seat off and sat directly on the metal post since that’s how real fine ladies do it.

You know for some reason, I have seen so many unicorn on a unicycle tattoos. Either I attract tricks with unicorn on a unicycle tattoos or it’s the other way around, but I’ve been seen like three. And I’ll be seriously disappointed with those three tricks if they aren’t getting their unicorn on a unicycle tattoos lasered off right now so they can replace that shit with a Shauna Sand on a bike tattoo. Because a Shauna Sand on a bike tattoo is way more magical.

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