Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

September 4, 2012 / Posted by:

You know how The Situation is always willing to take out his abs and show them off for women or for $20? Yeah, well this actor who really should be A list by now because of his talent, but has a horrible way of messing things up with everything he does away from the cameras which keeps him at a B- level. Good looking though. Well, our actor has the habit of whipping out his peen for anyone who cares to see. Of course he has to be drunk first which knowing our actor is possible Monday – Friday anytime after 5pm or so and on the weekends, depending on what time he awakens, anytime after about 1pm. If you see him in a club or in a bar and would like to see his peen, just ask and he will be glad to show it. The problem is that his girlfriends do not always enjoy this behavior. Our actor, who is known for his peen and for his drinking has not always been the most faithful of sorts. And when you are pulling out your peen on request, and only by request, things happen. You know, it could slip in here or there, and the next thing you know you have a situation which the girlfriend does not really appreciate. So, then he is forced to take his peen and move on. (CDAN)

Michael Fassbender is probably B-list-ish, but I don’t think acts of foolery are keeping him from touching the top of the A-list. But since my delusional dream of seeing Michael Assbender’s peen live and in person is more important than reasonable thinking, I’ll guess him.

But there’s really an easy way to find out the real answer. Since I obviously only hang out in places where almost A-list actors hang out, I’ll just ask every almost A-list actor if he’ll autograph my cheek with his peen. If I get hit with almost A-list peen instead of a bodyguard’s fist, I’ll have my answer!

We said it wouldn’t last… and it didn’t! After shocking the world by pairing up in the first place, this notorious bachelor and his beautiful girlfriend of “questionable talent” have parted ways. Wonder how long she’ll wait before parting her legs for the next baller in line? (Bossip via Blind Gossip)

Shaq & Hoopz. Exhibit: EVERYTHING.

That really is a shame, because I’ve always said that the key to a long-lasting relationship is being able to give your full-time fuck partner a beej while standing up.

Which married aging male heartthrob – he’s known for his charitable works and environmental activism – is now worried that a tell-all book about his secret extramarital affair will soon be published? The squeaky-clean, still-handsome 70-something star had written the woman off as a non-issue long ago, but it turns out she’s the one who’s been writing! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

Robert Redford?

What A-list, never-married movie star was spotted lunching with his attorney as they went over specifics of a prenup? The 30-something hunk has a penchant for dating leggy lingerie models, but he thinks his latest love interest is Mrs. Right! Let’s hope she signs on the dotted line! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

First there’s a blind item about George Clooney putting a ring on Stacy Keibler’s finger and now here’s a blind item about Leonardo DiCatchAHo no longer catching hos? This just doesn’t make sense. Maybe those two blind items are mixed up and George is proposing to Leo and Leo won’t say yes unless George signs a prenup. Because that makes sense.

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