Tori Spelling and her possum-eyed husband Dean McDERPott have a 5-year-old named Liam, a 4-year-old named Stella, a 10-month-old named Hattie and now they have a 15-hour-old named Finn Davey. So as you sip your morning cup of java-flavored liquid meth, take comfort in knowing that at any given time, Tori’s either got a baby falling out of her cooch or Dean’s peen falling into her cooch.
Last night, Tori posted a picture on her website of a newborn’s hand holding on to her finger (the baby diarrhea nail polish was a nice touch) and added the note:
Please join us in welcoming Finn Davey McDermott
6 pounds, 6 ounces – 20 inches long
Yeah, Liam, Stella, Hattie and Finn Davey. That reads like the character list of a lost Tennessee Williams play or like the fake names of the servers at a Mark Twain-themed restaurant.
Tori’s uterus is probably letting out a long sigh of relief because it’s finally getting a moment to itself, but it shouldn’t get used to being alone. Because as soon as Dean’s peen looks at her for longer than ten seconds, she’ll be knocked up again. Those Mon Calamaris are fertile bitches.