The entire bikini industry is shaking out of their string bottoms, because their number one ho LeAnn Rimes is off soothing her splintered nerves somewhere. TMZ says that LeAnn is getting help for anxiety, but she isn’t in rehab. LeAnn is in a Monday through Friday therapy center of some kind where she’s learning how to cope with anxiety and stress. It’s not really rehab, because LeAnn can leave on the weekends and she gets to keep her phone. Oh, rich, famous whores. When they get stressed out, they go to a luxurious spa with an advice booth for 30 days. When the rest of us get stressed out, we take a bath, pop half a Xanax and fucking deal.
TMZ says that LeAnn became an anxious stick in a bikini when she spotted a wild snake at her hooves and galloped back to her stable. No, apparently there’s a group of haters on Twitter who are firmly on Team Brandi Glanville (aka Eddie Cibrian’s ex-wife) and are constantly throwing hate at LeAnn for slipping Eddie’s wedding ring off with her snatch. Since crazy runs through LeAnn’s system instead of protein, she constantly fights back at her haters on Twitter. This past spring, LeAnn got together with some of her Twitter friends in real life (????) and decided to call two of her haters to work things out. The two haters, Kimberly Smiley and Lexi Smiley, taped the conversation and then splattered it all over the Internet. In the tape, LeAnn bashes Brandi, but she claims that Kimberly and Lexi edited that shit together. LeAnn is now suing the both of them for invasion of privacy. And that’s why LeAnn is on the edge of having a meltdown.
LeAnn, Kimberly and Lexi need to check into a junior high school for 30 days, because a) that’s where their crazy asses belong; and b) that’s where beyond stupid shit like this is usually resolved. Bitches swear they’re in Mean Girls.
Meanwhile, a source tells Radar that LeAnn is getting help for her anxiety issues, because she thinks Eddie is passing his peen to another and she’s been stressing out about it. It really shouldn’t surprise LeAnn if Eddie is dipping his noncommittal dick in the cooch wells of other tricks, because he’s Eddie Cibrian and that’s just what he does. I could understand if LeAnn is stressing out over that, because she’s dickmatized and dickmatized hos usually go into panic mode when they think they’re going to lose some good dick. But freaking out over Twitter?
I have seen some of the tweets that LeAnn’s haters send her and they do go extra hard and act like she fucked their man. Yes, LeAnn would probably fuck their man if she could, but I’m guessing she hasn’t, so it’s really not that serious. But if LeAnn can’t take all the Twitter hate, she should use her fingers to explore a button called the DELETE button. Bitch doesn’t need therapy, she just needs someone to show her how to delete her damn Twitter account.
I swear, it’s all fun and tweets until some crazy fame whore ends up in a luxurious therapy spa for 5 days a week.