Hot Slut Of The Day!

The empty chair that was the star of the RNC thanks to Clint Eastwood!

For the final night of the Republican National Convention (I think it was the final night, I don’t know these things), they brought out a very special “mystery guest” and that mystery guest was American treasure and my new favorite pepaw Clint Eastwood who took the “mystery” in mystery guest to a whole new level by making some of us wonder what the fuck his speech was about.

For over 10 magical minutes, Clint gave a hilariously surreal speech (click here for the transcript which college theater students will be using as an audition monologue for years to come) about I don’t know what, but then he really brought the theater and drama when he started arguing with an imaginary Obama sitting on a chair. It was some Grandpa Simpson yelling at a cloud shit and I loved all of it. I hope that after Clint left the stage, he yelled at a backstage water cooler for looking at him wrong and then when he sat on the toilet in his dressing room, he yelled at the roll of toilet paper for being so damn stupid.

There’s nothing more that needs to be said about this, because everyone, including the real Obama, has tweeted about this and it’s already become a full-on meme. The only thing I have to say is that Clint Eastwood went ahead and made my day!

And come November, I’m totally voting for that empty chair. Empty Chair 4 President!