Open Post: Hosted By Tan Mom Being A Sad, Slurry, Drunk Wreck
So much for that tan-under. Since Tan Mom is so used to getting roasted, Bianca Del Rio and Lady Bunny tried to roast her ass at an event called "Tan Mom at Hot Mess" at the gay club XL in NYC last night, but it's kind of impossible to roast something that keeps drunkenly falling off the grill while shouting at everybody. From the video (via Gawker), this doesn't look like a roast. It looks like a tragic performance art piece about the life and times of White Oprah.
On the red carpet before the roast, Tan Mom fell over and a source tells The Post that she attacked a drag queen. They eventually got her on stage, but once she was there she was incoherent, cursed bitches out and kept blabbering on about how she didn't put her kid in a tanning bed (cut to her kid locked in a tanning bed at home, because a locked tanning bed IS the best babysitter). It ended with Tan Mom getting kicked off the stage.
You should immediately download this video to your phone, because the next time one of your friends gets on your ass for being a sloppy drunk who is known to pass out on a McDonald's toilet after barfing into it, show them this. At least you don't get as messy as this mess.
• 
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:33pm
********************************
OMG! I would love to have heard that pizza order:
"YES, I SAID EVERYTHING!! EVERYTHING ON MY PIZZA DAMMIT!!!"
The first time I got drunk was on gin and orange juice. Awwwwww yeah.
But no, never again.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:33pm.
When we got home, I ordered a pizza from Papa John's with EVERY SINGLE TOPPING they had on it. The pizza came and the bill was $57 - for one pizza that weighe about twenty pounds.
So no - no gin for me.
==================================================
LMFAO!!!! 20lb pizza I can just see you pissed and scarfing that back as only a truly hammered head can do, bits and pieces falling all over the place, eyes rolling around in your head:) good time baby good times!
I've been that drunk before - many times. Fortunately before Facebook and YouTube.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
chewi - LMFAO! Every single topping? That is hilarious. I'm sure the kid taking your order was laughing hysterically at your drunken self.
Last time I was any where close to this I attempted to sober up by eating pizza. It never made it to my mouth as soon as I sat at the table, I passed out face first in pizza.
Loving husband he is, took pictures.
Thanks babe.
@ Whamo
I thought Tequila was ultimate panty remover? I guess any liquor in the right amount will cause a lady to lose her panties. ;-)
@ chewi
LOL@ the Papa John's pizza story.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:23pm.
She is feeling NO pain! I've only been that drunk, once. It was on gin martinis.
============================================
I love Gin! They call it the panty remover but when I drink it I put panties on:D
@ Foxxy
that one time was so bad it scared me. When I got home I went to make tea and the next thing I remember is waking up in a pool of vomit with the kettle running dry on my stove. Lucky I didn't burn the place down or choke to death.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:23pm.
She is feeling NO pain! I've only been that drunk, once. It was on gin martinis. Thank god there was no photos taken that night.
_______________________________
Oh shit! I CANNOT drink gin. The last time I was as jacked up as this trick I was on the gin. Gin and tonics, I believe.
My husband had to come pick me up from the bar because I got really belligerent with my best friends, telling them what a bunch of cunts and bitches they were. When we got home, I ordered a pizza from Papa John's with EVERY SINGLE TOPPING they had on it. The pizza came and the bill was $57 - for one pizza that weighe about twenty pounds. Thank god that was before the internet.
So no - no gin for me.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
LMAO @ $57 pizza bill. The call for the order must have been hysterical.
I WANT EVERYTHING ON IT!!! EVERYTHING! I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH
HAHAHAHAH
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
I could only get a few seconds in before turning that mess off.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:22pm.
Whamo -- I do believe we've found the lady of your dreams!
================================================
LOL, *shudders* Man she wears that dress well over her 5 month slapped out beer belly gunt, that's hot!!!
Mr tan mom is NOT gonna like this. (Speaking from experience)
Bitch, welcome to the dog house.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
love me some Bianca Del Rio
------------------
what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
Team Thank God For Panties.
The queen in the orange gown was gorgeous!!
************************************
"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:23pm.
i wish i could say "once." or even "twice."
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:21pm.
Is that Lindsay Lohan's future?
*******************************************
No, it's her current status, just not in public as of late.
Which one is the drag queen? Tan mom has no ass.
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 3:13pm.
Still a better dancer than Demi Moore.
----------------------------------------------------
LMAO!
Why oh why didn't someone cover her with a blanket and hide her in a dark corner of the club?
She is feeling NO pain! I've only been that drunk, once. It was on gin martinis. Thank god there was no photos taken that night.
I am totally trying to do that I am really working silent laugh - it's not working. HAHAHAHAHAHAH.
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Whamo -- I do believe we've found the lady of your dreams!
I actually like people like Tan Mom and Mama June. They make my life look a little less fucked up.
You guys are KILLING me. LMAO at Foxxy and annobanano
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Is that Lindsay Lohan's future?
Thumb #8 - OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That bitch is SHIT FACED! HAAAAHAHAH!
Oh god. I haven't been to XL in YEEEEEEEEEEEEEARS.
How embarrassing. She should have gone home 5 drinks ago.
**************************************************************
Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Thumb five...she looks like Doug McKenzie's sister
"take off eh!"
COO-ROO-COO-COO-COO-ROO-COO-COO
Are we sure she's not Canadian?
TTGFP (Team Thank God for Panties)
LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
Oh shit, I know I am going against the grain here, but I have been this pissed before many a time but not in front of the whole world. It is so embarrassing, somebody should be looking after here :-(
***************
Certified Slore
thumbnail #12 has me thinking "christmas card"
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I mean she's at an event called "Hot Mess Wednesday's"...
------------------
what's in your taco?: a. chicken b. beef c. fish d. QUEEF
FLAWLESS.
RAVISHING.
PURE ELEGANCE.
ABSOLUTELY STUNNING.
SIMPLY BREATHTAKING.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
after the boo boo foot pic, I'm thanking God this drunk had panties on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Holy shit I thought she was bad in the vid, THEN I saw those beautiful elegant red carpet poses she's pulling of and I'm simply amazed at how wonderfully elegant this flower truly is!
Still a better dancer than Demi Moore.
----------------------------------------------------
My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO CHANGE MY AVATAR!
and
Thank you Tan Mom for wearing underwear!
slag...
____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Oh. My. GOD. I am embarassed for her. Whoever she is. Ick. Nast.