Open Post: Hosted By Tan Mom Being A Sad, Slurry, Drunk Wreck
So much for that tan-under. Since Tan Mom is so used to getting roasted, Bianca Del Rio and Lady Bunny tried to roast her ass at an event called "Tan Mom at Hot Mess" at the gay club XL in NYC last night, but it's kind of impossible to roast something that keeps drunkenly falling off the grill while shouting at everybody. From the video (via Gawker), this doesn't look like a roast. It looks like a tragic performance art piece about the life and times of White Oprah.
On the red carpet before the roast, Tan Mom fell over and a source tells The Post that she attacked a drag queen. They eventually got her on stage, but once she was there she was incoherent, cursed bitches out and kept blabbering on about how she didn't put her kid in a tanning bed (cut to her kid locked in a tanning bed at home, because a locked tanning bed IS the best babysitter). It ended with Tan Mom getting kicked off the stage.
You should immediately download this video to your phone, because the next time one of your friends gets on your ass for being a sloppy drunk who is known to pass out on a McDonald's toilet after barfing into it, show them this. At least you don't get as messy as this mess.
• 
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:05pm.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:00pm.
Make sure you stay away from chia seeds, Zit Boy. G'nite!
I think it's actually the royal jelly I've been trying (I'm always experimenting with some supplement). It has some biotin in it, and I'm sensitive to it. I've noticed my hair's noticeably shinier since I started it.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:11pm.
np. One's Labor Day shouldn't be ruined by raging hormones. ;-)
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:06pm.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:00pm.
Neutrogena has those 8-hour pads to tackle that. Get thee to CVS pronto and secure the pad with tape!!!
ETA: I'm pretty sure they have a cream/serum that does the same thing.
Haha, thanks.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:05pm.
*cues Matchbox's 20's "She's So Mean"*
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:00pm.
Make sure you stay away from chia seeds, Zit Boy. G'nite!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mike on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 8:00pm.
Neutrogena has those 8-hour pads to tackle that. Get thee to CVS pronto and secure the pad with tape!!!
ETA: I'm pretty sure they have a cream/serum that does the same thing.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Folks, I have a pimple. Not just any pimple, but one of those hellacious fuckers usually seen on teenagers. It's on the side of my nose up near where the nose meets the inner part of your eye socket.
My holiday weekend is ruined!
:)
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:58pm.
Sounds nice. Sweet dreams, Doggeh!
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:52pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:50pm.
You pegged me well. Sounds like a dream date to me!!!
^^^^^^^^^
Speaking of dreaming, I can't keep my peepers open so I'm gonna take a hot bath and get into bed. See ya later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:52pm.
I would love to stay with my current employer if we got another resource (my group runs way too lean). My boss' boss thinks everyone is replaceable, but I think they would need two people to replace me *not tooting my own horn, but have data to back that thing up*
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:44pm.
--
You can do it bebeh! They say squeaky wheel gets the oil, right?! If you're not getting compensated for what you do, gotta get a good plan of action, in case you need to branch out. Have you scoped out the alternatives? ☺☺☺
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:50pm.
You pegged me well. Sounds like a dream date to me!!!
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:45pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:40pm.
I'm in, as long as the sour cream and guac are on the side.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
How about everything on the side and we each build our own? I bet you like those pepperoncini thingies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:40pm.
I'm in, as long as the sour cream and guac are on the side.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:36pm.
---
I did. Sorry you didn't get out for lunch today. :-( I hit a food truck right down the street for a bite.
Next week begins a world of insanity for me - need to have a difficult conversation with my team at some point.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:39pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:35pm.
Now there's a visual.
^^^^^^^
Hungry? ;-)
^^^^^^^^^^^
I want nachos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:35pm.
Now there's a visual.
^^^^^^^
Hungry? ;-)
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:32pm.
--
Awww Bebeh, did you work really hard? What's with these people, it's almost the weekend!!!! Today I went in and didn't even get time to eat and had to stay an extra late ggggrrrr.
Just think of next week, think of next week. Do you have everything planned? You ready to wow them?!!☺☺☺
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:23pm.
A lime green dildo (see Taylor Swift thread). And tissues.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Now there's a visual.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:27pm.
Doing OK. Had a crazy day at work - I thought the week before Labor Day was supposed to be labor-free?!?! Everybody's at the beach...
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Hello there my bebeh♥! How you doing? Just got in and I have to see this drankass or Boytrap Taylor, can you believe that?!? hhahaha <33
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:23pm.
A lime green dildo (see Taylor Swift thread). And tissues.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by WithinReason... on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:08pm.
Hello there...
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:22pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:15pm.
You're right. I'd land on a re-run of Property Virgins and bitch at the potential FTHO's for criticizing the color of the walls. Or a re-run of Golden Girls where Rose tells a captivating St. Olaf story.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
I wanna know what was really in Sophia's purse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:15pm.
You're right. I'd land on a re-run of Property Virgins and bitch at the potential FTHO's for criticizing the color of the walls. Or a re-run of Golden Girls where Rose tells a captivating St. Olaf story.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:10pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:04pm.
DIdn't realize that. If it's on Netflix, give it a whirl. Hilarious satire on trying to convert gheys into str8s.
^^^^^^^^^^^
If you can't be converted then me lying there probably is something wouldn't even notice as you channel surfed. LOL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Evil Cupcake, I'm so sorry for your loss! :(
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 7:04pm.
DIdn't realize that. If it's on Netflix, give it a whirl. Hilarious satire on trying to convert gheys into str8s.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
What a mess! The others on the stage were hilarious and also the audience. lmao
*waves hi around the place*
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Beb, I love you but I don't click on you tube links. Way too many creepy crawlies that are embedded in them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
That bich is basic!
Gotta say, I have gotten drunk and done things I regret--but never came close to one of those elderly drunken horz. She needs to party with cloris leachmann.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:55pm.
I would probably need a copy of "But I'm A Cheerleader" playing in the background for inspiration, so...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_WRQU0SIsQ
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:54pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:52pm.
Depends on your rates. ;-O
^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm so tired, all I can do is lie there anyway, so...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:52pm.
Depends on your rates. ;-O
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:47pm.
Thanks Doggeh. I didn't wan't dinner anyway.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You're welcome. Anything else I can do for ya?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:47pm.
Thanks Doggeh. I didn't wan't dinner anyway.
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Question: Why do people who have an IQ just above plant food make a big deal about a little mistake that was actually carried over by someone higher up than them?
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
*gets down on knees and slobbers out thanks to God that this piece of crispy Oscar Mayer was wearing panties*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:42pm.
Anytime... :-)
*picks frosting out of ear, looks at it for 3 seconds, eats*
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by beb on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:36pm.
Thank you Beb! I appreciate that!
Hi all!
Cuppy, just tracked back. Very sorry for your loss. *hugs*
----
SOMEONE SAID COCK, can we say COCK? I didn't know we could say COCK, and still be classy! AHAHAHAHAHAH - WithinReason
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:12pm.
Wow, that is very sad!
I am sorry I didn't read her blog, because I would have liked to see Housewives cut down and exposed for the liars they are!
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:59pm
"I'm sorry EC that's why I hadn't said anything earlier, I understood there was a loss but I couldn't figure out what was going on from the string of comments. When I thought I "knew" what's going on I commented and as it turns out I was as clueless as when I started.
Anyway I'm of course sorry for the loss of your cousin at whatever age:)"
Same what he said Evil
Geez, I wish I could write more like this!
Glad I wasn't the only one confused and you are
way more expert on these threads!
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:31pm.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:14pm.
No, my cousin worked for Neiman's in management for years.
Who was the blogger, if I can be nosey?
_______________________________________________________
Lynn N Chicago. It was mostly a soccer mom crowd on her blog, but she cut those Real Housewives bitches down to size, even exposing a million of their trillion lies. She was only 49 when she had a heart attack...on her birthday. Sadness.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 6:01pm.
LOL. I've read a few. I've had more than my share of these stories. One really stands out and a couple of people will still bring it up to me--18 years later. I'm too wordy so I won't share. I'll just say this. I no longer go to
any Company Christmas Parties.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:59pm.
Gosh Wham, don't worry about it. I am just touched you cared enough to comment. I really didn't give too much detail on the situation last week or today. I did touch on it in a post a few minutes ago with Can be a pushy broad. I just didn't want to bring the thread down, but probably did anyway.
As I said, the good thing is that everyone is taking this very well considering, and it is always nice to know that your friends out in cyber land are here and care.
Thanks for caring!
Submitted by JTROS on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:50pm.
Damn, man, you're lucky you lived, drinking all that!! ROFL Whole loaf of bread!!
************************************
"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:47pm.
I couldn't even finish reading Whamo's story.
Almost lost it at "slurshed it around."
Man Whamo. Thanks.
==============================================
LOL! sorry Pushy (not really:P ) I think today is gross out day, I've read all sorts of nasty stuff.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:46pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 08/30/2012 - 5:28pm.
Thanks Whamo. I really appreciate that.
Actually, But Seriously Folks lost a cousin who was 28. My cousin was actually much older. And yes, 28 is much too young.
========================================
I'm sorry EC that's why I hadn't said anything earlier, I understood there was a loss but I couldn't figure out what was going on from the string of comments. When I thought I "knew" what's going on I commented and as it turns out I was as clueless as when I started.
Anyway I'm of course sorry for the loss of your cousin at whatever age:)
lol JTROS!
ta da!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz