Open Post: Hosted By Tan Mom Being A Sad, Slurry, Drunk Wreck
So much for that tan-under. Since Tan Mom is so used to getting roasted, Bianca Del Rio and Lady Bunny tried to roast her ass at an event called "Tan Mom at Hot Mess" at the gay club XL in NYC last night, but it's kind of impossible to roast something that keeps drunkenly falling off the grill while shouting at everybody. From the video (via Gawker), this doesn't look like a roast. It looks like a tragic performance art piece about the life and times of White Oprah.
On the red carpet before the roast, Tan Mom fell over and a source tells The Post that she attacked a drag queen. They eventually got her on stage, but once she was there she was incoherent, cursed bitches out and kept blabbering on about how she didn't put her kid in a tanning bed (cut to her kid locked in a tanning bed at home, because a locked tanning bed IS the best babysitter). It ended with Tan Mom getting kicked off the stage.
You should immediately download this video to your phone, because the next time one of your friends gets on your ass for being a sloppy drunk who is known to pass out on a McDonald's toilet after barfing into it, show them this. At least you don't get as messy as this mess.
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Ok so I went searching around my house for aspirin and I have none. :(
If nothing else, it's the first time my husband has shown any emotion for me in over a yr. I think he thought I was having a heart attack. I didn't have the balls to tell him it was for a pimple.
Anyway, all I had was preparation h, and I figured if it can do wonders for my hemmorhoid, maybe it can take down a zit?? :P
I'm definately getting aspirin in the morning!! Night all and thank you!
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:28am.
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Hey Loopy, If I buy one can you just stop at pinching my nipples? I haven't had any action in a bit. Thanx! : P
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by winniwins on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 2:00am.
or we can get some shit on anna wintour and blackmail her into featuring out pet rock on the cover of vogue.
i know there must be a picture somewhere of anna wintour eating mushu pork at some cheap chinese joint, and there is sweat and sour sauce all over her chanel jacket, we can use that pic to blackmail her.
Tryoan makes you work for it
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0812/80498.html?hp=f1
lmao
@veryoldbat -- oooh snap, haha
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:57am.
Marc Jacobs is the queen of mass marketing, he even sells pencil sharpeners with marc jacobs on it.
i guess he needs to make all that money to pay for the male escorts and porn stars he is dating.
and he needs the money for his roids to pump his nasty disgusting body up.
and he needs the money for cocaine, cuz colombia's finest dont come cheap.
zac posen is a useless seal, everytime i see him on something, he is overly excited like some performing seal at seaworld clapping and going "ouh ouh ouh ouh" and waiting for a white bait snack.
LMAO Loopy! Dying....
Since we're Living in a world where that shit sells out- we don't need no stinking Lagerfeld or trollsens. We need those Waspy brothers I saw awhile ago but their name escapes me..... Brandt brothers? Anyone know who I'm referencing?
FOxie Karl bought his to cover Pippas face...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Loopy.. They make great stocking stuffers when they grow up...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Clint Eastwood just made Tan Mom look like Queen Elizabeth.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:54am.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:49am.
Zac Posen and Marc Jacobs probably have one for every day of the week. in contrast, Kunty Karl would use it for a poop bag for whatsitsname ;-D
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by veryoldbat on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:56am.
virgin AND vegan kittens from virginium.
Loopy.. Dying laughing.. Those evil vigin kittens...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Submitted by veryoldbat on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:49am.
virgin kittens from virginium?
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:50am.
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Lmao bambambambam! Omg Hope not! hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:49am.
lorrdd the sad and idiot gay men who were sucked into buying this bag, and they didnt even get off.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:50am.
lol okay sometimes ill make abit of noise just to speed up the process.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:15am.
sometimes, i just feel like laying there and just say, 3,2,1 go..you done? ok good night.
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hey hors.
This reminded me of when Dana Carvey did a riff on married couples having sex after ten years of marriage. Tickled the hell outta me.
Husband in a sleepy voice; "Mmmmm hmmmm? Huh? What? You want? No no no, s'okay, it's okay. Lemme move over here. Okay, wait, wait. Ahhhh, there we go, that's it.
*few seconds of silence, husband stroking*
"S'nice. This what you want? Is this what you like? *yawwwwwwwwn* Whore." lol
***************
You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Loopy.. Close.. Its stitched by kittens.. Think about that puppet.. Jil could go for that...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
just want to note that that $290 paper bag is from the collection for MEN ;-)
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by winniwins on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:46am.
u just cant bring it back, you need to put a name to it.
maybe we can get karl lagerfeld to endorse it or the asshole twins, marycunt and assley.
Submitted by veryoldbat on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:44am.
i hope the bag was stiched by virgins from a mystical island called virginium and they are blind folded and have never seeing the light, so the stitching is sooo delicate and before shipping the bags off, they open it, fart in it, and close the bag, cuz the fart smells like vanilla spices.
but in reality, it was stiched by soon yung mi, some 8 year old kid in a chinese sweat shop on the outskirts of guangzhou.
Loopy- let's bring back the " pet rock. " 50/50?
VOB- my SIL- makes it! Have you ever seen the starts? It looks like one of the Boo Boo's bellahys. She's offended that I won't drink hers or worse yet- devote a corner in my cellar to grow an oddity. I prefer to buy it and spare myself the nightmares.
Jil's paper bag with special stitching of course
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Submitted by winniwins on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:40am.
i just read on a fashion blog that the shit is sold out.
MY GOD there are some seriously rich stupid people out here who clearly, cannot wait to depart with their money.
Foxxy, Oh, some balls would definitely be busted... ahahhaha
@Mel-Tang, whatever you do, do not squeeze it!
OMG that reminds me of this (gross/funny):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYt28vX954w
I luurve Dylan Moran lolol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by veryoldbat on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:40am.
lol you cant stuff my socks with withy's dildo!! what will i wear? i have cold toes.
We can make a sock puppet for her new collection... Do you think she will see us? :::wait.. Loopy you did not stuff that puppet with Withys dildo....thwap::::
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Loopy-
WHAT?! I thought it was going to be a test on that 80's bag that said" Brown Bag" that was bad enough but this is just horrid!
this brown paper bag just reminded me that im wearing socks with holes in them lol
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:22am.
lol
I think its nuts, i mean yeah sure its your money and you can do whatever but A BROWN PAPER BAG. it wont even last like leather or something.
lol VOB, gimme a needle and thread and a 20 cent bag and ill stitch some shit on it and it wont cost $285.
@veryoldbat -- thanks /blushes
@Within -- and of course he would need staff to assist him in making those decisions ... ;-D
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
I love Komboucha... Going on a run to get some tomorrow...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Loopy, that just looks like paper! Are you kidding, at $285, it's a steal! I bought three!
*no I didn't* ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Loopy it's special paper tho with special stitching... And Jil knows all about special stitching.. Hehehe..:::ducks
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Mel- it works wonders. I first learned about it when I started drinking this hippy drink called Kombucha. Made me break out- chest even. Yuck. Love the drink now but it did a number one me before I saw the benefits.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:22am.
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If it involves "#delete user account" of those you know what mo'fo's! Also YES! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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LMAO FOxie... You had a good day too...;)))
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
OMG you girls/guys
i just read on fashion week blog that Jil Sander released a BROWN PAPER BAG for $285 with the name Jil Sander on it.
And the shit is sold out.
http://images.chickadvisor.com/article/6416/original/16b33824a3a3b7ba352...
the world has gone completely mad.
seriously. A BROWN PAPER BAG for $285.
and apparently fashionistas all think this is the new hot accessory, OMG IF I SEE SOMEBODY walk down the street holding one, id gonna fucking go up to them and kick them in the balls or punane, pinch their nipples, slap them and spit on them.
Mel make a paste with asprin.. Not Tylenol.... Better still add toothpaste to bind it.. As antibacterial properties.. Put it on before bed.. And feel better.. ;)
issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Fri, 08/31/2012 - 1:15am.
VOB i cant moderate, im too lazy lol
sometimes, i just feel like laying there and just say, 3,2,1 go..you done? ok good night.
thats how i feel about moderating.
if on occasion you follow "ok good night" with "#delete user account" you'd be perfect!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Veryoldbat, what means "moderate"? LOLOL Does it involve Loopy with a bucket of ice cream and cookies? I'm in! hahaha
Are you kidding? MK, won't be able to stay away? Or will he?
Hi there vob! ☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Omg VOB and winni .....what is aspirin paste???????? Like crushed up aspirin with water???
www.poopreport.com :)
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VOB- glad to hear your day was a good one. Yes, Bering Sea. He's been away since April so I'm very excited! I'm in Wa. Near the Canadian border.
Mel- what VOB said. Also- Visine! Gets the red out....
Cuppy- I'm sorry for your loss.
VOB i cant moderate, im too lazy lol
sometimes, i just feel like laying there and just say, 3,2,1 go..you done? ok good night.
thats how i feel about moderating.
Mel have you done the asprin paste? Make them go bye bye overnight?
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Withy.. Loopy Cricket cricket? why don't you guys moderate for the next 4 days?
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
OMG Mike!!!! I know this is late, but I have a HUGE freaking zit RIGHT underneath my nostril too. I'm 42 YRS OLD!! This should not be happening. Ive been trying to get rid of it for 4 days now. It hurt like a bitch and now its forming a scab. I had to go to meet the teacher night with it yesterday, and my daughter tells me on the way that it looks like a big red booger. :( I felt like a dorky teenager in one of those coming of age movies that magnifies the pimple. I swear everyone was looking at it.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS