LiLo Got Banned From Her Crack Home Away From Crack Home

August 29, 2012 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan shouldn’t even be trusted for one hour in a Super 8 motel room in Barstow, but for some reason, The Chateau Marmont let her stay with them for 47 days this summer and they didn’t make her pay upfront in cash that comes up clean when they mark each bill with that yellow pen (Side whisper: I HATE that yellow pen). Every crackhouse in South Central boards up their windows when they see LiLo pulling up front in her Porsche, but Chateau Marmont still took that freckled mess of stupid in and she still screwed them over.

While filming the future AFI basic cable movie of the century Liz & Dick, LiLo laid her favorite coke snortin’ mirror (the one that’s got “There’s No Place Like Home” etched into it) on the coffee table in a suite at The Chateau and she stayed there during June and July. Because LiLo can’t ruin her reputation as a thieving mooch, she never put one penny toward her ever-growing bill and the Chateau eventually kicked her coke-dusted ass out on August 1st. They have banned her for life and the general manager sent her a letter asking her to pay for the $46k bill she racked up. Before you say that sending Blohan that letter was a waste of paper, I’m sure she rolled that letter up and smoked weed cut with bath salts out of it, so it wasn’t a complete waste.

TMZ got a hold of the letter and bill, and it says that LiLo spent $3,145.07 on the minibar, $686 on 49 packs of cigarettes, $100 on a candle and $1,992.07 for one dinner at the restaurant on July 4th. The GM says that LiLo borrowed one of the hotel’s computers, but he’s willing to wave the $75 a day charge if she returns it. LiLo would totally turn in that laptop if she could, but it’s kind of impossible since she already gave it to her dealer for an 8-ball.

Also, I looked hard on the bill for a charge for daily Hazmat cleaning services and for a charge to replace all the toilets in her suite, but I didn’t see either of those. The Chateau probably waved those charges too.

I can’t wait for White Oprah to cry that they were told The Chateau is a free halfway house for wayward celebrity crackheads and now they’re just using her daughter’s famous A-list name to get some publicity. But whatever, I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding and Blohan will eventually pay off the bill with a bag of Rolexes and a truck full of DVD players with the serial numbers scratched out.

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