FYI: Honey Boo Boo Chile’s Newborn Niece Was Born With Three Thumbs

August 29, 2012 / Posted by:

If you’re lucky enough to be born into Georgia’s reigning redneck royal family, you will eventually have an extra something. Mama June has extra chins, Sugar Bear has an extra derp gene, a few of them have extra chromosomes and Chickadee’s 5-week-old daughter Kaitlyn has an extra thumb. That extra thumb will totally come in handy when Baby Kaitlyn will have to hitchhike out of there to get away from the mud bog fuckery.

The National Enquirer said that 33-year-old Mama June was throwing some extra shade at her first of many grandchirruns by making fun of the fact that one of Kaitlyn’s hands has four fingers and two thumbs, but the sex bomb of McIntyre tells People that she loves that baby, uninvited thumb and all. June the Hutt said, “We have embraced [the abnormality]. It makes Kaitlyn more special to us.

The Daily Mail has pictures of little Kaitlyn’s conjoined thumbs (she’s got the Abby & Brittany of thumbs!) and they also have pictures of Mama June’s 12-year-old daughter Pumpkin dipping a pacifier into a can of Mountain Dew before sticking it in Kaitlyn’s newborn mouth.

It makes sense that The Dew is this family’s baby formula of choice since Honey Boo Boo is always high on Go-Go Juice, but still. This is the most ridiculous, irresponsible, idiotic and inhumane act of parenting I’ve ever seen. Do they know how much caffeine is in that can of sugary acid? That baby will be hollering and screaming and bothering people all day long. You’re not supposed to give sodie pop to a baby. You’re supposed to give baby a mixture of crushed Vicodin, whiskey and NyQuil so they sleep all day while you enjoy your cheese balls in peace. This family, I swear.

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