Taylor Swift said goodbye to her 18-year-old boyfriend Conor Kennedy over a week ago, because she needs to promote her awful song and he has to go school supplies shopping since he’s still in damn high school. Taylor left Conor in Hyannis Port and she took her wedding crasher ass back to Nashville. But Taylor must’ve realized that if Conor’s left alone, the spirit of Little Edie might smack some reality back into his ass, so she sent a private jet to pick him up and bring him back to Nashville to be with her. I would say that the Kennedys need to try to get this tramp trollop of Walnut Grove on kidnapping charges, but then I imagined all the song she’d write in prison.
A source tells Page Six that Taylor is so hard up on Conor that she doesn’t want to be away from him for a second and the two could elope any second now, “Taylor missed Conor so much, she sent a plane for him a few days later. He’s been with her ever since, and his family doesn’t know when he will be back. Things have become so serious between them so fast that no one in Hyannis Port would be surprised if they eloped. They are inseparable and are all over each other all the time. While his relatives really like Taylor, some feel their lovey-dovey behavior is cute while it has made others in the family feel a little uncomfortable.”
Taylor should just pull some Strangers with Candy shit and go back to high school to be with Conor. Then she can gaze at him during home room and squeal out heart-shaped farts from her mouth when she’s named homecoming queen and he’s named homecoming king. That’s where Conor and Taylor’s love belongs, behind closed high school doors. It doesn’t belong in the real world with US adults (and yes, I typed that 10 minutes after searching eBay for Beverly Hills Teens on VHS). Taylor isn’t dickmatized, she’s Kennedymatized and that’s worse.