On last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of NYC, all of those crazed horny bitches went to St. Barts to be crazy and horny on a different kind of island. During their trip, they all went to a restaurant owned by Sonja Morgan’s friend and met the owner’s piece, a French dude named Tomas (the piece next to LuMann). Cuntress LuMann is supposedly all in love with her French boyfriend Davide Schwimmaire, but on last night’s episode she was all over Tomas and you could barely hear what she cooed into his ear, because the sound of her tingling labia clapping in excitement was so loud.
Sometime during the night, LuMann split up with the other ladies and they all went their separate ways. Sonja and the other crazies went back to the house where they were all staying at and LuMann stayed out with Tomas. The next morning, the crazies started talking about how they were woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of LuMann and another dude laughing. LuMann made up some story about how she met up with her Italian friends and brought them back to the house. But during a conversation on the phone with one of her French friends, bitch admitted that she brought back the dude who looked like Johnny Depp (aka Tomas) and lied to the other crazies about it. It pretty much looked like LuMann squirted Zestra on her parts on got her some ass. But LuMann said on Twitter last night that she’s a liar, but she’s not a cheater:
I may have lied. Owning that. But I am not a cheater. And they all know it. But wait til you see who really gets Tomas? Tune in next week
I lied about who brought me home. That’s all. Nothing happened. Great TV tho! And Jacques and still very happy and together. Night all. xo
Ho, please. Yes, it would be dumb of LuMann to pass the poon to another right in front of the cameras, but you do desperate things when you’re in heat and have a hot piece in front of you. You know she humped on that and you know she gave him a stack of hundreds as a thank you. Money can’t buy you class, but money can buy you ass. Get it while you’re checking account is still in the black, LuMann!