The Real Housewives Of New York City: Did LuMann Cheat On Her Man?
On last night's episode of The Real Housewives of NYC, all of those crazed horny bitches went to St. Barts to be crazy and horny on a different kind of island. During their trip, they all went to a restaurant owned by Sonja Morgan's friend and met the owner's piece, a French dude named Tomas (the piece next to LuMann). Cuntress LuMann is supposedly all in love with her French boyfriend Davide Schwimmaire, but on last night's episode she was all over Tomas and you could barely hear what she cooed into his ear, because the sound of her tingling labia clapping in excitement was so loud.
Sometime during the night, LuMann split up with the other ladies and they all went their separate ways. Sonja and the other crazies went back to the house where they were all staying at and LuMann stayed out with Tomas. The next morning, the crazies started talking about how they were woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of LuMann and another dude laughing. LuMann made up some story about how she met up with her Italian friends and brought them back to the house. But during a conversation on the phone with one of her French friends, bitch admitted that she brought back the dude who looked like Johnny Depp (aka Tomas) and lied to the other crazies about it. It pretty much looked like LuMann squirted Zestra on her parts on got her some ass. But LuMann said on Twitter last night that she's a liar, but she's not a cheater:
I may have lied. Owning that. But I am not a cheater. And they all know it. But wait til you see who really gets Tomas? Tune in next week
I lied about who brought me home. That's all. Nothing happened. Great TV tho! And Jacques and still very happy and together. Night all. xo
Ho, please. Yes, it would be dumb of LuMann to pass the poon to another right in front of the cameras, but you do desperate things when you're in heat and have a hot piece in front of you. You know she humped on that and you know she gave him a stack of hundreds as a thank you. Money can't buy you class, but money can buy you ass. Get it while you're checking account is still in the black, LuMann!
via People
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IDK who this woman is but I suspect she doesn't look in the mirror, Otherwise, she would not go out in public with that blubbery gut exposed. Is she one of those "People of Walmart?"
That 'Tomas' guy is probably homeless and wanders into parties and preys on tourists. You see this at a lot of these foreign resorts. Stooopid Americans.
Hope the girls got their shots.
Twat - sorry I missed your response. I've been in and out. Thanks for agreeing with me!
I was an escort in san fransisco in the late 90's and messed around with that sonya morgan lady...i recognized her long ago when the show came out...she loved my ass and we had fun!Xoxo
why is Tampon looking like Johnny Depp? Does he have no shame,ever hear of individuality???
Spoiler Alert: Sonho bangs him in the next episode
WHORES!
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Don't start none and they'll be none.
"Davide Schwimmaire" - lmao. I can see why LuMann may or may not have cheated with the owner's slutty ho. He looks bettah(!!) ahha
But her twitter post generates zero interest for the show.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@ Caramel - No I think that was the guy from Creed. Both are douches.
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by almostfamous88 on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 10:13pm.
I'd hit that too, I don't blame her - sorry
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If I believed for one minute LuMann got herself a milf muff fulladat hotness, I'd be the first to high five and ass smack that bitch, but I think it was a ratings gimmick. She din't...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'd hit that too, I don't blame her - sorry
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:24pm.
I WAS with Italians! I was hanging out with a very spicy sausage! *dials friend to corroborate story* YEP, I LOVE MY ITALIAN FRIENDS MOLTO!
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Yeah, m'hmm...*scrapes dick fromage and Johnny depp manliner residue off of cuppy's cherry stem*...Might I suggest you blame it all on a black kid?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Caramel on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:17pm.
Was that Nickelback douche the guy who got filmed getting blown with Kid Rock?
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I don't know. *runs to google*
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:24pm.
I WAS with Italians! I was hanging out with a very spicy sausage! *dials friend to corroborate story* YEP, I LOVE MY ITALIAN FRIENDS MOLTO!
Submitted by Puppy Love on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:29pm.
That's some bad tummy lipo on the Countess.
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As much as a loathe this bitch, it looks more like untouched middle aged mother of two near grown chirruns tummy to me. That's what happens to most women...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:29pm.
EC -- I consider myself lucky I haven't heard Nickelback's music
so. fucking. jealous.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
All of these Housewives shows seem exactly like a Mob Wives parody:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8d78878ca8/mob-wives-2-the-christening
EC -- I consider myself lucky I haven't heard Nickelback's music. Like you stopped dating someone for liking their music, I'd have to stop dating someone for not liking Frank Sinatra -- same theory, right?
That's some bad tummy lipo on the Countess.
miz cynical -- I responded to you in the Blohan thread about Camilla Alves; I totally agree with you.
Submitted by Caramel on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:17pm.
i think that was the Scott Stapp douche. same douche, different flavor
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:13pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:10pm.
*tucks cherry away*
There will be NO cherry poppin' on this cupcake, that's fo'sho!
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I happen to know a Johnny Depp look alike French baker who will say otherwise....And don't even TRY to blame it all on your Italian cannoli friends. Not.Buying.It...Okaaaay?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:15pm.
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Because it makes us feel better about our own lives, it's really no more complicated than that.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
It was painful watching Ramona & that other crow looking blonde acting like two granny's on spring break...what a sad sight
Was that Nickelback douche the guy who got filmed getting blown with Kid Rock?
These people are trash...why do you guys support this mess?
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
The worst Housewife, in any of the cities, is Alexis Bellino from the OC. God....I despite that stupid airheaded bimbo. She likes to go on about how "Christian" she is, and how everyone is a jellis hater of her husband Jim. Yeah okay, nobody is jealous of that creepy wifebeater. We can all go home now.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
And..she never gave birth..paid one of their el salvador nannys.and u know hes like arnold all fuckin the help and groping them...he is nasty!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:10pm.
*tucks cherry away*
There will be NO cherry poppin' on this cupcake, that's fo'sho!
I saw the Countess and Jacque in Saratoga Springs this past weekend...guess he's fine with her little side action...
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 9:02pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:29pm.
HI TIGER!
*throws Filet mignon cupcakes w/ ribeye icing in thread*
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CUPPPPPAAAAAAY! Mmmm...mmm...mmmm...with them meaty cupcakes but Ima thinking about poppin' that cherry up top yo' fluffy cupcake head...What? What? She be putting it out there, y'all, yo. Y'all all know you wanchu summa dat too. Don't front...:-)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:29pm.
HI TIGER!
*throws Filet mignon cupcakes w/ ribeye icing in thread*
Submitted by Pygar2000 on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:56pm.
I would love to see Ramona and Vicki from OC both drunk and crazed in a winner-takes-all cage fight!!!
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I would LOVE to see LuMann and NeNe Leaks doin' the rounds of HOTLANTA...Nene would check the HELL out of the countess when she asked for a finger bowl with her hot wings...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:46pm.
You are so lucky that you have not heard their music Twatty. They write such innovative lyrics like "I like your pants around your knees. I like the way you look at me, you are my favorite damn disease" or some assholish lyrics to that effect.
I am not joking when I say, I stopped dating a guy because he listened to Nickleback. I won't have that in my life!
I totally think Luanne slept with French Johnny Depp and I can't blame her, her man looks like Russ, Ross' alter ego on Friends. She seems like she's annoyed by him or something. You should've seen the way she was going on and on about St. Barths Johnny. He was an attractive enough guy, but he was trying too hard, like John Mayer. He was wearing eyeliner and everything. It was kinda pathetic looking.
I would love to see Ramona and Vicki from OC both drunk and crazed in a winner-takes-all cage fight!!!
Oh fk who cares! Is RHWofNY good?? And doesn't everyone cheat on all those dumb shows.
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“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” —Carl Sagan (RIP C.Hitchens, Winehouse, Houston, MCA, Dillon, Armstrong) *caprica six was/is here*
EC -- oh, god, that Kroger dude sounds like a consummate asshole. I'm glad he sucked his own dick, gah. He really thinks his band will be remembered long after the Stones and others? Fuck him. And if he showed his shitty house on Cribs you just know he's an asshole. Goes to show you how popular he really is -- I've never heard one tune of his.
I'm obsessed with this show and I know it's like "professional wrestling" in its realism but I'm kinda hoping LuMann got it on hot and heavy with Johnny Depp's Frog doppleganger 'cuz I'm soooo not a fan of Davide Schimmaire's Afgan lookin' Frog twin. I find him almost as distasteful as LuMann...
And yes, I'm ashamed of my obsession and most especially this post...more so than things I've done in the past that made me itch in the morning, but hey, it's DListed.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 7:19pm.
I hate Avril and her stupid faux punk b.s, but I loathe Kroger and think she is actually too good for him. You should hear him talk about how great his band is and how they will be remembered way after everyone has forgotten about Nirvana, the Stones and other bands who made a mark in music history.
He loves being a corporate rock asshole and thinks Nickleback is the best band ever.
Dave Grohl HATES him! Makes me love Dave even more than I already do.
OH, and his house is one tacky piece of shit. I got a glimpse of it on Cribs and he is one fucktarded asshole with bad taste in everything!
Submitted by sushi on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 8:04pm.
I love RHONY too! Ramona is crazy as shit. But I think she's pretty fucking good looking for her age. Would tone down the blonde hair a bit, but she looks great.
......
Did you SEE her ass when she was supposed to be there for the children but was instead at her docs?
Dear god it was the ass of a 20 something year old!
I hate that she has that ass.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Submitted by Cat Scratch on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 6:47pm.
I actually love Real Housewives of New York, mainly because of Sonja, Ramona, and Carole at this point.
Ramona especially is just a gift from God. She's so nutty, so wacky and everyone who fights with her takes her DEAD SERIOUS till they completely break down.
I marvel at her abilities.
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I love RHONY too! Ramona is crazy as shit. But I think she's pretty fucking good looking for her age. Would tone down the blonde hair a bit, but she looks great.
It's refreshing to see LuAnn actually wear age-appropriate hair and clothing.
Heather, I love the way she handles Ramona. But I can't believe her business is to "make women look good." She is tacky as fuck.
Sonja. I love that drunk crazy one. She's has a great sense of humor. Hope she gets her shit together -- she's had far too many drunken crying jags.
Carole has grown on me, even though I think she is a bigger name dropper than she realizes. I don't buy for one minute that she can have a sexual relationship with Russ and not get tied up emotionally. I think that is her calling card. He gets to come up and casual sex whenever without guilt.
Was there a chapter in her book, 'class with the countess', on how to slut it up and attempt to keep it secret? Her HO antics in the Hamptons are well documented.
She Stinks!
If I were her, I'd be more worried about that horrible tit job. Honestly, get a good look, honey.
LMFPO at the Zestra reference and Davide Schwimmaire.
And all the comments.
I know LuAnn and she is def not that stupid to do that shit with cameras around. It was 100% a set up for the show to add drama...get a clue!! And she calls her ugly ass BF the morning after to tell him how great the night was?!?! PLease...Andy Cohen have some respect for our intelligence
SANS FARDS -- Caroline will never 'fess up to having had surgery for weight loss, gastric bypass or whatever it was. She annoys me with her Godfather-type facade.
MJT -- I do like Chris, Jacqueline's husband best, too. He seems to be the most stable and possibly the most attractive of the bunch. I don't go weak in the knees for him or anything, but if I had to pick . . .
Twatty - I have not yet been graced with the presence of these fair ladies...but my mom did see one of them shopping in Corrado's Italian Grocery one time. I think it was one of the Manzos. She was probably buying "gabagool."
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
EC & islandgirl -- good god, clearly the guy never heard about holding back. Just when I thought I felt a little bit sorry for him for wanting to marry that twat Avril, now I realize he's that much of a dick that he deserves her.
SANS FARDS -- I hope that eldest Giudice kid becomes a Joisey stripper to show them that all that clapping for her busting a move didn't go to waste. You poor thing, I hope you haven't run into them in your neck of the woods.
How funny was it when Honkin Heather walked into the glass door with her beak? Just like the Windex commercial.
Of course Luann fucked him - she was obsessed with how much he looked like Johnny Depp.
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Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/28/2012 - 6:47pm.
EC -- what's that about Avril Lavigne? Her first hubby, Brody Jenner or this new dude from Nickelback? Or you implying that the peen is large? I have so many questions!
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Fugly ass Chad Creeper, er... I mean Kroger claims he can give himself head. I bet he had to before he became a "rock star" because he is monstrously ugly!