The only good thing Wonky McValtrex has contributed to humanity is this quote she gave about Kim Fartrashian’s ass: “It reminds me of cottage cheese inside of a big trash bag.”
When this picture from Instagram of Kim’s heffalump ass landed in my inbox, my dog jumped off the sofa, ran under the bed and it felt like a Hefty bag full of thick curdled cottage cheese punched me in both eyes. I hate Kim for making me laugh at something Parasite Hilton once said. Bitch ain’t right for that.
Because Hell’s furnace will be turned off unless Kim’s 9th planet ass trends on Twitter at least once a day, she posted this picture to Instagram and said that she thinks those jeans make her butt look too big. Um, no. Those jeans make her butt not look like a butt. That ass looks like an 18 wheeler tire that was overstuffed with Fix-A-Flat. If you ever wanted to know what it would look like to see two hos in inflatable rubber fetish suits try to wrestle, just look at that picture again.
No wonder Kanye’s last song was called “Mercy.” That’s what he screams when he’s licking on Kim’s culito lips and the iron speculum holding her ass cheeks apart breaks and her double walls of doom start closing in on his face.
Here’s Kim wearing one of them many shitty outfits Kanye bought her while making her way into church with Kourtney Kardashian and Kourtney’s two kids. Yes, that dark-sided whore went to church. I guess every now and again you have to see what the enemy is up to.