Hot Slut Of The Day!

Ivone Weldon, the exquisite collagen trout who was fished out of the Sea of Big Ang, thrown onto the red carpet at The Expendables 2 premiere in L.A. last week and was given the compliment of all compliments when photo agencies and mostly everybody else mistakenly thought she was 90-year-old Jackie Stallone.

Remember those pictures from last week that were supposedly of the gorgeously crafted Jackie Stallone looking like The Birth of Venus if Botticelli created The Birth of Venus using only sheets of silicone, the labia of an extra slutty albino gorilla and gallons of collagen? How could you forget those pictures? You had them laser printed onto the inside of your eyelids. Well, that wasn’t Jackie Stallone. It was actually a goddess who goes by the name of Ivone Weldon.

I couldn’t find out much about Ivone except for this Facebook page with a picture of her posing with her plastic surgery icon Jocelyn Wildenstein (that’s who that is on the left, right?). But anything I find out about Ivone will pale in comparison to her greatest life achievement: being mistaken for Jackie Stallone. Ivone’s life is complete!

And let’s take this moment to pay homage to the beauty of the real Jackie Stallone.