If you’re a member of the British royal family and The Queen doesn’t beat you with a pocketbook full of bricks for going pants-off wild in Las Vegas, then you really didn’t go for enough. So Prince Hot Ginge should give himself a pat on the taint (and he should do it naked…. in his VIP suite at the Wynn… in front of a bunch of sluts with iPhones who will sell the pictures to TMZ) for a job well done, because apparently the royal family isn’t happy that he has dirtied up their pristine, proper image with his filthy hot ginger nipples. (Note: Will somebody please tell the royal family that their pristine image was already smeared with a Prince Charles-faced tampon.)
One source tells UsWeekly that Prince William is “not impressed” (read: jealous, because nobody wants to see his shit), and not only is PHG in trouble, but so are his royal guards for not throwing themselves on his naked body when somebody pulled an iPhone out. The Guardian says that Clarence House confirmed that the pictures are of PHG. (Note: That sound is me sighing with relief, because it’s been confirmed that I did NOT twist my nipples last night to pictures I thought were of PHG, but were actually grainy pictures of a shaved ginger alley cat humping a Chinese Crested dog in a motel conference room.) The Guardian also says that Clarence House told the British media to respect PHG’s privacy by not republishing the pictures. If a British publication publishes any of the pictures, Clarence House might report them to the Press Complaints Commission. As of this morning, the BBC, The Sun and The Daily Mail all wrote about the story, but kept the pictures off of their sites.
Let’s set aside all the jokes about how I nearly had to call Sun Jifa with my nose after almost fapping my hands off to those PHG pictures last night. This is a serious matter! PHG should be punished, because he has a duty to represent the British royal family with class, dignity and grace. I’ve done my research and the official scroll of British royal rules, or whatever, clearly states: Any member of the immediate British royal family (besides Prince Charles, Camilla, The Queen, Prince William, Duchess Kate and anybody else other than Prince Hot Ginge) who gets caught with all of his panties off must immediately be taken to the town square, disrobed and flogged twelve times with a union jack dildo. Those are the rules, so bring on the flagellation! If you read that as “bring on the fagellation,” that works too!