Guess What This Lindsay Lohan Story Is About?

Since today is obviously Groundhog Dog, the only way to follow up a story about Amanda Bynes getting into ANOTHER car crash is with a story about the police questioning the crackburglar of Hollywood Lindsay Lohan in connection with ANOTHER jewel heist. All we need is another story about Kirk Cameron saying some crazy crap and this Groundhog Day is complete! Oh, wait....

Both TMZ and Radar say that Lindsay Lohan went a party at a house in the Hollywood Hills on Sunday and decided to spend the night. Yeah, whenever I pass out face first into a puddle of my own runny coke snots and booze barf on the floor of somebody else's powder room, I always call it "spending the night." When LiLo woke up the next morning after the cokehead slumber party, the owner of the house was going crazy, because somebody robbed his ass during the night.

In what sounds like the worst and crackiest version of Clue ever, the owner locked down the house and refused to let any of his guests leave until the police questioned each one of them. (I've played this game before and I already know it was LiLo and she used her sticky vagina to snatch that jooree!) A source tells TMZ that when the cops showed up around noon on Monday, they started to question LiLo and since she knows the game, she asked, "Am I suspect?" When they shook their heads no, the source says she "blew them off" and left. I bet she did.

TMZ's source says that the owner of the house told the police that LiLo brought her brother Cody, her assistant and two dude friends to the party. The owner thinks that LiLo's two dude friends are the ones who robbed his ass.

Don't you just hate it when the buzz of an all-night coke party at a fancy crackhouse in the Hills is killed when the police arrive, because some junkie bitch had to steal the owner's stuff to buy more 8-balls? That is the worst. But please, the only reason to let Kleptohan into your house is if you want her to steal your stuff, because you want to cash the insurance policy you took out on your expensive jewelry. This is probably just one big scheme. The owner probably let LiLo snatch his shit, because he knows she'll get rid of it by making Cody sell it out of a briefcase to tourists on a beach in Ensenada. I'm on to those bitches.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by juni on Thu, 08/23/2012 - 5:52am.

I'm surprised she didn't drive off with the host's car and crash it.

Submitted by cprincess on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 11:32pm.

oh fuck -have I been there...everyones coming down and some MF starts getting psycho and fucking up the last of the high!

"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by Mani6 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 9:43pm.

Any time there is a jewelry theft they should drag Hohans ass in for a lineup.

Don't worry! You don't need to respond.

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 6:16pm.

Submitted by EdDallas on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:03pm.

In the 80's, I used to work in a ladies store. One time the security alarm went off when this chick exited the store. Security kept asking her to walk back through but it kept going off. And she had no bags or purse on her.

Come to find out. She had gone into the changing room and put TWO blouses up her cooch!!! With those big-ass security tags from the 80's!

I'm guessing these weren't petite blouses, either?

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It's just fun to say "Pussy Riot."

Submitted by Feral on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 5:34pm.

I've come in contact with grifters who achieved some level of success. The eventual slippery slide down begins to speed up (often due to age/drug use/carelessness)...the grifter then makes a very poor choice on who they will attempt to grift; street justice comes in many forms, none pleasant.

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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 5:12pm.

I agree with ya MK, this is 100% shit fake fuckery right here!

"LiLo and she used her sticky vagina to snatch that jooree!" - say WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? bwahahahahahah :O
#disgust

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 4:44pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:59pm.

ditquoi -- I guess those are the chicken wings that would have the secret sauce on them, LOL!

gross. hahahahahah :D

Submitted by winniwins on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 4:07pm.

It never ceases to amaze me how educational The D is. Crabs from toilet seats? Pussy burglaring? I'm floored.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:33pm.

Hohan could fit a bank vault up her barnacle box, but when the contents came out they would look like this:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dHMUkWjxiWM/S6v1oU7gvwI/AAAAAAAAFFU/z5_7v2tEg3...

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:12pm.

She's a known kleptomaniac and they let her go?!

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:12pm.

And just think. In about 6 months there will be another Lohan born unto the next generation! Yay us!!!

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:08pm.

JTROS -- I hear ya. When I was 19, I met a guy who was a dead ringer for Chris Meloni and he was hung like a horse. We had a lot of encounters, but I never slept with him, for the exact same reason you mention. I could kick myself now for not having done the dirty with him. Then there was another guy I met, he was actually younger than me (something I've never really gotten into), really cute & again, hung like a horse. By this time I'd been around the block a little. This guy had no idea what to do with it -- what a disappointment. He ended up marrying a total bitch and she made his life hell. In fact, the Chris Meloni look-alike married a total bitch, too, and she was ugly to boot! What's with these guys marrying ugly bitches? From what I've heard he's divorced from her ugly ass now.

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:46pm.

Submitted by EdDallas on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:03pm.

Come to find out. She had gone into the changing room and put TWO blouses up her cooch!!! With those big-ass security tags from the 80's!

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dammmmmn. that's McNasty. hope they didn't put those blouses back on the rack. *scratches*

Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:39pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:36pm.
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Twatty - In my defense, I was barely 21 and hadn't been around the block very much, if you know what I mean.

But, yes, I regret it now.

Sigh.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:29pm.

ditquoi -- I guess those are the chicken wings that would have the secret sauce on them, LOL!

Submitted by Whatever on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:28pm.

People have to stop inviting this mess into their homes.

Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:12pm.

a woman I know who was incarcerated told me that the inmates would shove chicken wings up their hoohas so they could have a snack in their cells after lights out...LMAO.

Submitted by cake coke and cock on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:07pm.

Oh and I suppose the "two friends" were black guys, n'est–ce pas?

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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:06pm.

Lisbet -- that's why I freaked! I was thinking how I was going to explain to the bf that I got crabs from some nasty-ass skank using the toilet before me and he was going to think I was lying -- who wouldn't, right?

Gigaboob -- my friend learned she had crabs after the other friend dropped the bomb later on during the evening. I bet this nasty-ass skank will probably show up at other functions, though; I will learn to "hold my water" and not drink too much so I don't catch said crabs.

JTROS -- NEVER turn down sessy times with an attractive, well-endowed man. I've done that several times and I regret all those opportunities. I really wish I would have slutted it up with good-looking, hung men. Damn, girl, you get it, okay???

Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:04pm.

you know, I kind of like her lips now. she must have paid off her layaway plan. they will serve her well as she sucks for survival. one snap up, bitch *snap*

Submitted by JTROS on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:56pm.

Submitted by EdDallas on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:03pm.
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Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 3:07pm.
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I am seriously grossed out by this. I cannot wrap my head around shoving those things up a hooha. Just the sheer physics of it astounds me. How the hell am I ever going to have a babeh?? Maybe I should just stay childless.

(One time I actually told a very attractive, very well-endowed man that I wouldn't have sexay times with him because "logistically speaking, you and I will NEVER work." I did the math in my head & just knew there was no way it could happen.)

Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:55pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:48pm.
Gigaboob -- funny story: I was at a friend's house for a holiday party. Unfortunately, her brother invited his nasty-ass gf to the party. Later on I found out this nasty-ass gf had crabs. I freaked out, wondering if I used the bathroom after this thing used it. Turns out I hadn't. But still, it freaked me out. Could you imagine going to a party and Blohan was there? You'd have to worry about stank, disease AND having your shit stolen!!!
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Lmao! I just can't get over someone inviting her to their home. I'd sooner drop cockroaches and termites into my house. WTF?

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:37pm.

When I had all my jewelery stolen a few years ago, the bitch had shoved it all into one of those cylindar glasses cases, or make up case type thing, and slid it up her cooch.

I did get all my jewelery back sans BH's watch. She probably sold it to her dealer for more meth.

But yes, slippping stolen goods/drug up the hooha is common among drug addicts and theives.

Submitted by nibbles44 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:36pm.

@EdDallas

OMFG! I can't even imagine that!! Hahaha

Submitted by EdDallas on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:33pm.

Come to find out. She had gone into the changing room and put TWO blouses up her cooch!!! With those big-ass security tags from the 80's!

Maybe Linds did that! She could fit Fort Knox up there!

Submitted by bambam on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:28pm.

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 2:46pm.

It's a total scam. Lindsay smuggled the items out of the house in her cavernous vajayjay.
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That's the first place they'd look. Lindsay's a pro, she hid the goods underneath her saggy tits. Somebody needs to whup that trick.

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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.

Submitted by Lisbet459 on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:24pm.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:48pm.

Can you imagine having to explain that to your significant other? "Nah, baby, I didn't get that STD from cheating. I got it from using the same toilet as this skank - wait, where are you going?"

Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:16pm.

It's a total scam. Lindsay smuggled the items out of the house in her cavernous vajayjay.

Submitted by jaariel on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:14pm.

At least she's learned something from her 8 billion arrests: if "I'm not a suspect, you can't detain me"... Or was it the part about blowing all the officers ... Now I'm confused as to which one worked.
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Please let me know if you don't read this

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:08pm.

Now, there's something you don't see every day: BloHan may be innocent.

This time.

Okay, not really.

NEXT!!!

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:00pm.

I covered this shallowly and yet in depth on my FB page!!!!!!!!!!! *shameless LIKE whore*

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:59pm.

*patiently waiting for LL and AB to one day crash into each other, with both cars spontaneously bursting into raging infernos, and no-one pissing on them to put it out*

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:57pm.

I recall reading that this used to happen to Liz Taylor all the time, too.

................
It's just fun to say "Pussy Riot."

Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:43pm.

Tick Fucking Tock

She thinks she is a star, but people are interested in her in the same way people log on to YouTube to watch people have their boils and cysts lanced.

Harumph

***************
Certified Slore

Submitted by REDMOND on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:35pm.

Such a class act bringing her 16 year old brother to a Sunday night all nighter in Hollywood. And she brought her assisant? What the fuck for? I guess she pays someone to chop the lines up for her. I wish this disgusting piece of shit would die already.

Submitted by FreakGeek on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:24pm.

Oh goody. Once she's photographed wearing the missing shit like two weeks from now, we'll have to endure another one of her court hearings. Somehow she'll manage to escape jail AGAIN. This shit is getting so old.

Submitted by Call me crazeee on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:21pm.

What not that Ali Lohan is too damaged and away "modelling", all she has to party with is her 16year old brother. Get him started early on the coke train? Where have all the hangers on gone? Oh yeah no money for that. At least when Cody's too much of a mess to party you can take your new step brother/sister out to party in their pram. "Powdered baby milk? Sure it is."

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:21pm.

Submitted by Gigaboob on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:16pm.
Fuck that, fumigate your house bitch! Did she use your toilet?
*gags*
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I can't imagine this walking herp scap sitting on my toilet...fuck that she probably just shat in a corner.

"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:19pm.

vsminimoose -- "I hate her so much." I think I love you!!! I feel the exact same way.

Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:18pm.

It's funny how thefts, car accidents and general mayhem always happen when she's around.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:18pm.

Gigaboob -- funny story: I was at a friend's house for a holiday party. Unfortunately, her brother invited his nasty-ass gf to the party. Later on I found out this nasty-ass gf had crabs. I freaked out, wondering if I used the bathroom after this thing used it. Turns out I hadn't. But still, it freaked me out. Could you imagine going to a party and Blohan was there? You'd have to worry about stank, disease AND having your shit stolen!!!

Submitted by vsminimoose on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:15pm.

FUCK this bitch. Nobody just "stumbles" into this much drama and fuckery on a regular basis.

I hate her so much. I hate her. I don't feel sorry for her, I'm done with thinking that this is just faulty parenting (this is beyond that.) and I'm not going to be one of those tards that feels bad when she finally dies from her stupid decisions.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:03pm.

Submitted by lislop on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 1:21pm.

Gotcha.

Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 12:00pm.

Submitted by lislop: "What a coincidence that the owner just happened to check his jewelry collection before Lindsay and others left. It seems a bit too convenient."

Hey, if that scraggy junkie ever got past my front door, I'd be counting the silver, too.

Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 11:59am.

also, ladies, learn from the cosmetic mistakes of others. the non-highlighted heavy cat-eye is NOT the look for getting tore up from the floor up at a party. why narrow and darken the focal point of your face if they are going to go to drunky slits halfway thru the evening?!

/the more you know...

"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Tue, 08/21/2012 - 11:56am.

GAWD, I absolutely fucking HATE this slimy fucking whore.

This bitch wouldn't know a fucking thing about being law-abiding, or at a bare minimum, doing the right thing, if it smacked her in her stinky vagina. WHO WHO WHO brings their teenaged brother to a Sunday night party that lasts all fucking night?????????? Where is Cody's fucking shithead of a MOM? How is this at all acceptable????????

But hell no, she's clean and sober, and so comfortable with her life right now...FUCK OFF you slimy BITCH. This cunt should be charged with child endangerment for putting her brother in an environment like that. We all KNOW what was going on. Please.

Every single story I see about her and her shit sets my blood pressure a-soaring. Not a LICK of common sense whatsoever.

My pug is smarter than your honor student."