Two weird things happened on VanityFair.com a few days ago. First, Vanity Fair actually interviewed Carson Daly in the year 2012. Second, Vanity Fair’s George Wayne, who’s thing is to try to shock the butt plug right out of his interviewees, asked Carson the question most of us ask ourselves when we wake up in the morning: When Xtina gets the fuck tingles in a major way, does she squirt like a geyser? Yes, Vanity Fair went there:
G.W. Let’s cut to the chase: Do you think Christina Aguilera squirts when she has an orgasm?
C.D. Are you kidding me? Is that your opener? I have no idea. I can’t imagine the thought. I mean, really.
G.W. I mean, clearly—just look at the outfits she chooses to wear onstage. Tell that girl to put some clothes on! I believe that is a rational question to ask you. I know it is a bit off-piste.
C.D. Yes, it is. I will say she does have a lot of people on her team, a whole entourage to help her, and she knows what she is doing. Oh boy, I love you. You are the best. You are so great—just the best. Despite your asinine question about Christina, it is still a pleasure to be here with you.
Wait, so according to George Wayne, if you wear four-sizes-too-small leather panties onstage, your sex parts will squirt like a walrus spitting water when you orgasm offstage later? No wonder I always stop for a few seconds and say “hmmmm” to myself when I see leather man panties in the window of some store on 8th Street.
And you know what I really didn’t need today? The image of Xtina squirting up into Carson Daly’s nostrils. That’s not what I needed, so screw that GW bitch for that.