Rosie O'Donnell's Had A Heart Attack Last Week
The world almost lost Rosie O'Donnell last week and it was all because (not really) she helped a fellow fat lady out of her car last week in a parking lot in Nyack, NY. In one of her signature jacked up haiku-ish type blog posts, Rosie O wrote today that she had a heart attack last week and all of her heart attack woes started when a fat lady in a parking lot asked her to a help a bitch out. The lady couldn't get out of her car and so Rosie grabbed onto her and pulled her out. Rosie's good deed ended with a stent in her heart.
Rosie says that once she got home after helping a ho out, she started to feel the same way Melania Trump feels when Donald asks her to give his taint a tongue bath. Rosie felt vommy and clammy and eventually threw up. Rosie tried to diagnose herself with the help of the Internet and when she Googled "women's heart attack symptoms," the first thing that came up was an article titled: "Did you just stare at gloriously beautiful bikini pictures of the Spanish dandelion that is the Duchess of Alba, because that will make you weak in the heart!"
After Rosie O couldn't really find anything on the Internet, she downed a Bayer and ignored the pain. When Rosie went to her cardiologist the next day, she found out that she had a heart attack.
i did not call 911
50% of women having heart attacks never call 911
200,000 women die of heart attacks
every year in the USby some miracle i was not one of them
the next day i went to a cardiologist
the dr did an EKG and sent me to the hospital
where a stent was put inmy LAD was 99% blocked
they call this type of heart attack
the Widow maker
i am lucky to be hereknow the symptoms ladies
listen to the voice inside
the one we all so easily ignore
CALL 911save urself
Rosie's rep tells People that she is really lucky and is now resting at home.
That gross feeling that feels like slime crawling all over your skin is Donald Trump running his bloated fingers through the pile of deep fried Sasquatch pubes on his head while smugly smiling over this. I bet that fat ho in need WAS Donald Trump in disguise.
And you know, Rosie's story makes me feel so much better about ignoring strangers who ask for my help. Nothing good can come from helping strangers.
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Sans Fards, thanks. I thought along the same lines as Mike, that it'd probably look and taste like spit, lol By the sounds of it, it is very good for you especially (if it's not too sweet). Was kinda hoping I'd be like a piña colada though ahahhaa
Lemon, honey and hot water in the morning are good for the system as well.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I had my mug on here plenty of times on picture day, but i am still waiting for mike`s penis pictures....
ubmitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:29pm.
Coconut water tastes like old yucky dishrag forgotten in the kitchensink under a pile of dishes. No bueno.
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I heard a nutritionist on the radio the other day talking about the Coconut water fad and she said it's a bunch of hooey, she said eat a banana and it puts more potassium in you and it cost cents as opposed to overpriced coconut water.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:26pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
Somewhere a nutcase sits with every dlisters photo posted on picture Day and rubs on out to it....
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Lol, we got us a Dlisted Zodiac harasser!!
Hahahahahaha!!! If you decipher a list of increasingly maddening coded messages, the real identity of the Dlisted Zodiac harasser will be know.
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Jebus fark, we're all so messed up in the head area and hardened with snark that we're making jokes of a nutzo among us. VIVA LA DLISTED!
No more pic day. Instead, can we have croc wearing day, or flip-a-birdy avi day? Ideas? Suggestions?
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
Cuppy had a virtual G&T made for you with sapphire gin and fresh limes... Bravo to you for your comments on the Tony thread.. Since they are long tall and delicious .. Any one else care for one... :). ?
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
GG, i dont let it get to me. Someone on here is seriously disturbed , mentally deranged or whatever you wanna call it. What i take with me from this site are the laughs and well wishes and good advice, the rest i dont bother with.
ubmitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:26pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
If you decipher a list of increasingly maddening coded messages, the real identity of the Dlisted Zodiac harasser will be know.
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They have a decoder ring..."Be sure to drink your Oveltine"
Coconut water tastes like old yucky dishrag forgotten in the kitchensink under a pile of dishes. No bueno.
Submitted by JakeAndMe on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:23pm.
My grandma had a heart attack that happened the same way (the symptoms, I mean. Not helping a fat lady out of her car)
I'm sorry, but this cracked me up so hard!
But on a more serious note, the symptoms for a woman having a heart attack are different then men and they rarely have the crushing chest pain.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/heart-disease/HB00040
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:25pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
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Who is sewing skin suits as we type, and prepping the lotion basket.
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Cuppy, I'll bet the person is an Angelina fan.
Jennaka7, me too- heart palpitations. A few times, I have been awakened maybe an hour after I go to sleep with a racing heart but find that if I walk around and breathe slowly, it subsides.
Also, one doctor told me if my heart races, to bear down like going to the bathroom. For some reason, that gets things back in synch.
I would think it is the stress and the altitude, but like someone else posted, get checked out. (I had major surgery and all kinds of complications from reactions to medications including a racing heart and couldn't catch my breath. Very scary!) Also, I have gone to a pharmacy to get my bp measured. You can also go to a fire station- they are happy to check it out for you and if there is a problem, you will be in good hands.
Good luck and take care!
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
Somewhere a nutcase sits with every dlisters photo posted on picture Day and rubs on out to it....
_______________________________________________
Lol, we got us a Dlisted Zodiac harasser!!
Hahahahahaha!!! If you decipher a list of increasingly maddening coded messages, the real identity of the Dlisted Zodiac harasser will be know.
@Within, unfortunately, it's not quite as tasty as coconut milk. It has a weird musky taste that's hard to describe. It's addictive though, and will help you perk up immediately....I have some on hand at work as a pick me up if I'm lagging. You can get it at CVS and most grocery stores probably carry it, since it's more popular now.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:15pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
Somewhere a nutcase sits with every dlisters photo posted on picture Day and rubs on out to it....
_______________________________________________
Lol, we got us a Dlisted Zodiac harasser!!
*********************
Who is sewing skin suits as we type, and prepping the lotion basket.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:20pm.
mike, coco water kind of reminds me of sweaty socks. Not that I've ever eaten sweaty socks, but that's what I imagine they would taste like.
It makes me think of dishwater.
My grandma had a heart attack that happened the same way (the symptoms, I mean. Not helping a fat lady out of her car). She was clammy and nauseated, then threw up a little bit of foamy stuff. That was all.
She didn't let us call 911, but we took her to the doctor the next day. From there, she was taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she had to have quadruple bypass surgery, a bovine patch put on her heart, and a replacement aortic valve.
She never once had chest pains, or any pain or tingling in her arm. Prior to her heart attack, she had never had heart problems of any kind. There was never anything that might have warned her (or us) that she might be having a heart attack.
So, ladies, watch out for yourselves.
Never tried coconut water! Is it sweet like coconut milk? Will try this out! :)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UBF and other friends on here, why would you let some cornhole on an internet site who you will never meet in real life or see in real life get to you? Its all just a wisp of smoke. FUCK them. They cant really touch you, sure they may tick you off with some low blow but honestly they cant really harm you. Just know that they are pathetic for throwing disembodied punches. There are some truely awsome folks on here, just dont let one or three asses ruin it. *goes off to clean toilet*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
mike, coco water kind of reminds me of sweaty socks. Not that I've ever eaten sweaty socks, but that's what I imagine they would taste like.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Oh, so she did actually help someone else. Her poetry is so strange that I thought Rosie was describing herself metaphorically when she wrote:
i turned and saw an enormous woman
struggling to get out of her car
she was stuck
People, please get your cholesterol checked and carry around the 81mg aspirin. I'm against many pharmas, but aspirin just may save a life when that tightening feeling happens in the chest. DO NOT take it, however, with a horrendous headache or if you have clotting issues. The horrendous headache can already be a sign of a slight vessel leakage and you DON'T need aspirin thinning the blood more; same goes with clotting issues.
Don't care how boisterous, and sometimes obnoxious, Rosie has been before, happy she caught that shit.
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“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' He's two. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.” -George Carlin (RIP MCA and C.Hitchens) *caprica six was/is here*
weird, the Duchess of Alba's "boy toy" looks exactly like mary kate olsen's new boyfriend
Y'all have to try coconut water with strong fruit juice flavor if the plain is too off putting. The pineapple VitaCoco is really good, like a virgin piña colada, the peach mango is good as well.
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
UBF.. It just becane very personal, Creepy even.. .. Had little or nothing to do with whatever D listers happened to be talking about... I don't want to get into that situation ever again....
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
Somewhere a nutcase sits with every dlisters photo posted on picture Day and rubs on out to it....
_______________________________________________
Lol, we got us a Dlisted Zodiac harasser!!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:07pm.
I have been called every name in the book on here, along with my kids being called awful names
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Why would someone even dare to call your children names? That is pure evil right there and they should be ashamed.
As far as attacks on me, yep, right there with you. I have been called some lovely things here too, a few times perhaps deservedly, but I don't care. Not here to have a fan club, just here to have fun most days.
Coconut water IS really good for you, but the taste is (to me) really off-putting.
Submitted by Daniee on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:50pm.
Thank Gaawd Whamo you are alright!! You poor, poor dear.
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Lol!! it was touch and go there for a while Dannie, after 7 weeks of extensive physio I was able to play footsies again,
I have been called every name in the book on here, along with my kids being called awful names. If you put yourself out there, you are taking that chance.
For the most part people have been good to me here and i have gotten to know some amazing folks. Somewhere a nutcase sits with every dlisters photo posted on picture Day and rubs on out to it....
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 10:04pm.
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:41pm.
@louisy peasy ♥
Drink coconut water girl, high in potassium low in cals and carbs and natural rehydrator. VitaCoco is amzeballs and tastes great.
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Cosign on the coconut water. It tastes really weird, but it hydrates you in a pinch, better than gatorade or regular water. It's an excellent hangover cure, too.
Thanks ladies! I'll have to try it.
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:41pm.
@louisy peasy ♥
Drink coconut water girl, high in potassium low in cals and carbs and natural rehydrator. VitaCoco is amzeballs and tastes great.
______________________________________________
Cosign on the coconut water. It tastes really weird, but it hydrates you in a pinch, better than gatorade or regular water. It's an excellent hangover cure, too.
_______________________________________________
SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:52pm.
damn, mike, now you got me reading back. You really need a Dlisted Facebook account for shit like that...
Haha, I've had this suspicion for a while. I know I've mentioned it to Dog. I won't mention a name because I COULD be mistaken. Just (as always) be careful about revealing personal information on here.
Same person who was banned from blog after blog 4 years ago ?
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
@ Mike.. Where? shudders at the thought of she who shall not be named...
My issues now have issues.. So take a number.
The Duchess of Alba looks like a villain from an 80's cartoon. Or one of those goblins from Harry Potter. No offense to the goblins from Harry Potter.
Daniee, LOL at death by paper cut! Hey, those are dang painful! No Joke! I get them all the time... bleed for hours... lmao ;P
@Whamo, don't make fun you! ahahha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
damn, mike, now you got me reading back. You really need a Dlisted Facebook account for shit like that...
Thank Gaawd Whamo you are alright!! You poor, poor dear.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:46pm.
mike , who? Not the dumbass i got into it with??
No. I won't reveal who i think it is, but I'm confident she'll reveal herself soon enough. She's been playing it too low-key for too long.
Damn. So close. What a waste of a good Heart attack. Another Cinnebon, Rosie?
@ doggie, it's irritating that's for sure!
@ Daniee....your paper cut must have been horrible, I feel your pain, I stubbed my toe and went down, my neighbour found me two weeks later! I managed to stay alive drinking from the cat bowl. I was airlifted to safety! :)
mike , who? Not the dumbass i got into it with??
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:33pm.
How long before EH comes in here and brags that all the cum it swallows keeps its heart healthy?
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LOL - hey now, I like her pervy links
btw, the regular poster I believe to be Angela came close to revealing herself in the suicide post earlier today
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 08/20/2012 - 9:33pm.
How long before EH comes in here and brags that all the cum it swallows keeps its heart healthy?
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Ahahahahahahaha! Thank you for the only laugh, outside of my recent convo with my mom, that I have had today.
Oh MK, shut it! You would so help a HOT stranger, bitch!.
Ya, it's too soon for Rosie to go to heaven. I like her cuz she gets a rise out of that f*cker Trump. Who.I.cannot stand. Go Rosie!
And heard that she was mooning people from a boat in FL recently HAHAHAHA just like Elton (gross)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░
DAMMIT TA HELL ROSIE!!!
F*CKING GO RAW! (not your 'current-raw-diet' freshpot!) but, raw FOODS!!!
change your diet & live for us, beyotch!!!
'YOU' are 'OUR' food, ya big dummy.
i mean, i love my Ellen & Jane, but what's the world without your crazy, angry Irish temper/comedy.
love ya! *eating mayo & banana sandwich* ;-)
@louisy peasy ♥
Drink coconut water girl, high in potassium low in cals and carbs and natural rehydrator. VitaCoco is amzeballs and tastes great.
OT: I like Rosie...so sue me. Her behavior wouldn't be as criticized and villyfied coming from a man...YES I went there. Love her outspoken non fuck giving ways and her fierce mama bear behavior toward chirren especially those in showbiz.
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
********
>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
i'm thinking it was a panic attack. Fat rich people freak out whenever they see real world stuff.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
How long before EH comes in here and brags that all the cum it swallows keeps its heart healthy?
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I take a fish oil capsule every day. and keep a little bottle of plain aspirin in my purse. better safe than sorry.