Would You Hit It?

August 19, 2012 / Posted by:

When one of my cousins was a kid, he got lice from some brats at school, or maybe he got it from me since I’ve always been a dirty bitch. I don’t know, but my auntie really didn’t want to spend her hard-earned money on buying RID at the drugstore, so she tried to get rid of his piojitos the zero budget way by shaving his entire head. You know, because lice will magically pick up all their shit and move to another kid’s head when the forest of hairs they live in is mowed down. What I’m trying to say is that it didn’t work and she had to buy RID anyway. Anyway, my guess is that Harrison Ford pulled a move like my auntie and was too cheap to buy RID so he just tried to shave the lice away. That’s why he had a shaved dome while eating dinner with Gary Oldman in Philadelphia the other night. Yeah, that’s totally why.

And duh, I’d put on a slutty smoke monster costume, call Harrison Ford “John Locke” and hit it.

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