Shia LaDouche Is Doing Fancy Porn Next
It was either that picture above or a picture of Shia LaDouche's wet baby thumb peen. I went with this picture, because how can I resist a picture of Shia giving us Buffalo Bill meets "I always depend on the kindness of strangers" realness?
Shia LaDouche is done making big-budget Hollywood blockbusters, because for some reason he's sick of studio executives finger fucking him in the ass and controlling every little thing. Crazy, right? Shia says that he's tired of getting knuckled in the butt, but I guess he can't totally stay away from getting knuckled, because in his next movie, he's going to get knuckled literally. Maybe!
During an interview with MTV (via Complex), Shia talked about his next movie, Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac, and he promises that he's going to get down in some real ass. Shia says, "It is what you think it is. There's a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we're doing [the sex] for real. And anything that is 'illegal' will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening."
Nymphomaniac isn't a biopic about Gerard Butler. It's some fancy two-part art shit that follows a woman's sex life from her young years all the way up to her horny old ho years. Charlotte Gainsbourg plays the woman and the movie also stars Shia, Nicole Kidman, Willem Dafoe and Stellan Skarsgård.
I'm looking at the words "real sex" and then at the cast list and all I can type is: NOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOO OOO OO OOOOOO!!!! This is Lars Von Trier we're talking about, so it's not going to be some hot sex times either. It's going to be some depraved, disturbing shit. It's going to make you skip the shower and go directly to your garage where your water tank is. This is why water tanks should have lids. So you can just jump inside and fully submerge the sucio images in your brain. I bet Lars' movie will include a tribute to Lemon Party starring Shia, Willem and Stellan. Okay, that might be kind of hot.
And I pity the whore who will lie down with Shia and wake up with dick fleas.
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love lars and besides, i'd gladly pay to see shia's labeef.
http://kellygreenblog.com
Acting is suppose to be MAKE BELIEVE. Porn is porn.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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UGH!! Why does Charlotte Gainsbourg have to be in almost EVERYTHING Lars directs?!
He's not my favorite director ever or anything, but I watch some of his shit purely out of curiosity. Why does this bitch always pop up?
Does anyone else have an (unreasonable?) disdain for her like I do? Not every actor has to be gorgeous but GAH. Her face belongs on Mt. Rushmore. You could cut diamonds with her nose. She's just so rough. She's not even "jolie laide".
Speaking of movie sex scenes, I hate it when their pelvises aren't even aligned properly in fake sex scenes. It's like, "Dude, your dick is aiming about a foot too low." Etc. But! It also annoys me when they use fancy tricks to make fake sex scenes look like real ones, because I don't like to be fooled. I'm impossible to please.
If i want to watch porn ill go to the porn shop...
Why do these people who get these blockbuster roles always have to fuck it up? Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep never did any risqué roles and they've stayed marketable and successful forever.
Ooooh, he is getting so artsy fartsy. He should stick to Transformers, it doesn't tax his acting abilities. He looks like he smells like warm luncheon meat.
Looks like he's preparing to perform the giving role in a remake of brown bunny.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 9:39pm.
UH-OH...it looks like his girlfriend might not be too happy...
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/shia-labeouf-girlfriend-...
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LOL at her expression! I guess I'd have a permanent grimace on my face if I were dating Shia too.....
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
Don't get at all, why he would even want to get into porn? What's he trying to get, press? If he hates studios and blockbusters so much, why not just go indie? Or try his hand at directing? Talking out of his ass, perhaps? *shrugs*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UH-OH...it looks like his girlfriend might not be too happy...
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/shia-labeouf-girlfriend-...
He's beyond "eccentric". Rubs me the wrong way.
@ Cuppy... Thought it was self Important and indulgent... I think he missed. His use of mutilation , his true belief in the superiority of his own intellect makes it impossible not to compare it to a very angry grad school film. Just my opinion.. But I now have a better understanding of why Shia looks so frightened... He should fire his agency and run. Why Nicole Kidman is working with him again is beyond bizarre. When they were little... Didn't they know it was OK to tell the Emperor, he had no cloths?
My issues now have issues.. So take a number
Funny that the much less annoying and arguably more talented actual porn star James Deen is transitioning into "legit" cinema while the Knight Of Edge here only wants to do "quirky" cinema.
For those of you old to remember he reminds me of the Art School Girls Of Doom from the early 90's Liquid TV shorts on MTV. He really thinks he's "deeper" than the rest of us and understands the essence of true "ahht". Where was this depth when he was getting the shit kicked out of him in Canadian bar brawls or being a drunken foo in Chicago convenience stores?
so you basically have to do some mild nudity in some shitty ass "art" video(sorry Sigur Ros but it was crappy at best) and people like Lars will come knocking at your door for more? i guess it doesn't much differ from the fact that if you do some "accidentally leaked" sex tape with a somewhat-celebrity you'll probably get a reality show and get paid to be a boring, dull to death flaccid cunt on TV like any Kardashian..
Please don't let Nicole Kidman get donkey punched in this new film. That would fuck me up...
In The Idiots Von Triers had a number of real sex scenes, but I think body doubles were used in a few shots.
Most of his movies are over-rated.
Poop. DP.
This is certainly light years away from Even Stevens. He and Miley should talk.
No no no no no no no no no and no! Cannot look. Do not find him sexy, do not want to imagine him thinking about anything sexy! Argh!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Why do I have the feeling that I'll be screaming "why's this shit BLURRY?!" often while watching this?
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:49pm.
Hahaha! Poor M.E! LOL@ your hubby barring you from his peen.
Cuppy - how do I say this...
my yes yes assaulted BH's peen last weekend. It apparently did not want any foreign objects in it.
BH is still recovering and will not let me near his precious.
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:59pm.
ROTFLMAO! What the hell was that hilarious thing? You had me at "phallic shaped fruits and vegetables"!
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:25pm.
Why will you be sexless M.E, if I can be so nosey?
The tree you cut cursed you, didn't it, with a no sex jinx???? ; P
Submitted by veryoldbat on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:36pm.
I have seen Antichrist, but I did not like it. Let me know what you think. I found both characters annoying and the violence very gratuitous. I am not a prude, but I felt some of the shit was waaaay over the top.
If you hate it, do not blame me, but I do say see it if you can.
Do the world a favor and shut up and bleed.
The first time I watched Antichrist, I absolutely hated it. I thought Trier was just trying to hard to be "artistic". Now I see it as a very disturbing (albeit sloow) horror movie.
Well.. Don't know if it was Cuppy or Weezy that said Antichrist was good... But going to go watch it and try really hard to get the image of bus penetration out of my head. Plus Maybel promised good art house sex...
Submitted by Lisbet459 on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:59pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:54pm.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:25pm.
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Now look me in the eye(s) and tell me that that's not exactly how you imagine Migrain spending her day.
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LOL, sorry what was that, I was staring at your boobs!
What the hell was that anyway?
Wait. that movie Shame has real secks?
I might have to check that out, since Imma be without secks for a LONG time.
porn? reeeeally? porn? :( I wanted Shia doing a remake of Casablanca or The Great Escape or has he done a woody allen movie yet or some cable. =)
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"I love the rain , it washes memories off the sidewalk of life."- Allan;
ty- *iconzicons*
Wait a minute... The sex in the movie 'Shame' was real? I feel so dumb now.
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"If I can't be my own, i'd feel better dead"- Nutshell
Submitted by winniwins on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:05pm.
or some such shit.
LOL! Exactly!
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:06pm.
Thanks. I will check that out. Always open to something new.
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:04pm.
Cuppy, for why you double post each day?!
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To irritate the masses!
I think it is MK. Seriously, I am not pressing the post icon fifty times, and my computer at work and home do the same thing, although it happens less frequently with my home puter!
How's your day?
*hits post 3 times*
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:04pm.
Cuppy, for why you double post each day?!
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To irritate the masses!
I think it is MK. Seriously, I am not pressing the post icon fifty times, and my computer at work and home do the same thing, although it happens less frequently with my home puter!
How's your day?
*hits post 3 times*
Submitted by IrishFury on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 5:04pm.
Cuppy, for why you double post each day?!
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To irritate the masses!
I think it is MK. Seriously, I am not pressing the post icon fifty times, and my computer at work and home do the same thing, although it happens less frequently with my home puter!
How's your day?
*hits post 3 times*
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 3:47pm.
JMO, but I think it's because JGL looks like your brother's funny, sexy friend. Shia looks like he'd hassle you for buying into the "corporate greed monster" for not buying everything off of freecycle, call you a fascist for asking him to wear shoes in public, and ask to sleep on your couch because all his money goes towards financing his shit-tastic indie band.
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Totally! You've nailed it. Why is Nicole Kidman taking roles like this? I guess she'll have to explain to her children that live sex on camera with a room full of people , that millions of people will eventually see- is just part of being a thespian. Exploiting yourself and overcoming your inhibitions for the greater good of creating art- or some such shit.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:57pm.
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:50pm.
I am on the fence about Charlotte. I like her in some things, but her Von Trier movies irritate me, and I sometimes find her to be a little full of herself, which, maybe having talent, she has a right to be, but it is off putting.
I know who Serge is but am not familiar with his work, other than the shit I just listened to. I will check out earlier things to see what you mean about his talent once upon a time
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My favourite Gainsbourg song is "L'eau à bouche." The Bulgarian Symphony Orchestra did an amazing cover of his song "Initials B.B." for the biopic about Serge. Those might be good entry points. His most famous stuff is probably the "Melody Nelson" album.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Cuppy, for why you double post each day?!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:47pm.
P.S. Did you get a load of Charlotte's original nose? lololol
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Her nose looks the same to me. When I saw her in Melancholia, I thought she looked like a cross between Patti Smith and Holly Hunter.
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(¸¸.•´ ..•´ but what do I know?-:¦:-
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Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:54pm.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:25pm.
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WTF is your problem Migraine, some guy open a door for you today and say hello?
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LOL but,
Shhhhhhhhh, we don't want to wake her!
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:54pm.
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:25pm.
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WTF is your problem Migraine, some guy open a door for you today and say hello?
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"Andrea preferred to travel by foot, for buses were built by men, maintained by men, and driven by men. Mass transportation was nothing more than another means for men to assert their dominance over womyn. Sometimes, when she was feeling especially frisky, she enjoyed stepping onto a bus, then stepping off again, then getting back on and off repeatedly until the driver complained. "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE PENETRATED?" she'd scream at him. "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE RAPED INSTEAD OF THE RAPIST?"
"...Somewhere along the way, she'd start walking backwards, simply because males expected her to always walk forwards. It was the man's way to keep a womyn docile and under control, facing the opposite direction while he whispered his insidious rapist plots behind her back. So she'd plod along backwards for a couple of blocks, knocking over pedestrians, garbage cans, and produce stands full of phallic shaped fruits and vegetables. Then she'd stop, light up a cigarette, and survey the chaos she had wrought. This is how men must feel when they rape the world, she'd think. Then once again, she'd turn around and start walking forward - not because she was expected to, but because she had empowered herself to do so.
"As she approached the drug store, she'd pause to glare at the homeless man sitting on the sidewalk - the same vile animal who had brutally raped her in BROAD DAYLIGHT only two weeks earlier by holding open the door and saying "Good Morning, Ma'am". Hundreds of passers-by witnessed the violent act, heard her screams of "RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!", yet not a single one tried to stop him. Even the police protected their own and refused to do anything about it, actually threatening to arrest her for kneeing the bum in the groin and crushing a cigarette out on his neck. One pig actually made a move for the wooden phallus hanging from his belt, but it just made her laugh. She wasn't afraid of them. She had done time before - most recently for beating senseless a hot dog vendor who thrust a bratwurst at her. Once the pigs knew they couldn't intimidate her, they sent her on her way."
http://tinyurl.com/dk5qx
Now look me in the eye(s) and tell me that that's not exactly how you imagine Migrain spending her day.
Submitted by Datura on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:50pm.
I am on the fence about Charlotte. I like her in some things, but her Von Trier movies irritate me, and I sometimes find her to be a little full of herself, which, maybe having talent, she has a right to be, but it is off putting.
I know who Serge is but am not familiar with his work, other than the shit I just listened to. I will check out earlier things to see what you mean about his talent once upon a time.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:35pm.
If you haven't seen "Hescher", you must. To put it in perspective, he's the exact opposite of his 500 Days of Summer character.
http://d3ny4pswk2x1ig.cloudfront.net/700007501db1e93a775e8bc739e65471e1e...
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:25pm.
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WTF is your problem Migraine, some guy open a door for you today and say hello?
Would Shia LaWadd work for his porno name? No? I didn't think so.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:47pm.
Yes, well if you are a pretentious sophisticate, then incest isn't incest, or at least it isn't offensive.
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Making a song/video about incest AND being the victim of incest are 2 very distinct things. Gainsbourg may have had his issues (alcohol/drug abuse + an attitude problem being the most notorious) but raping his kids wasn't one of them.
Imagine hearing that kind of lie about your dad.
Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:45pm.
Calm down! I doubt the AP wire is going to pick this up and lives destroyed, as we are on a GOSSIP site.
Half the shit posted here about celebrities isn't true, so why get all defensive over this?
*smdh*
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:42pm.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 4:31pm.
Ummmmm, WTF did I just listen to AND watch? I love the comments from the sophisticates on YouTube defending that shit song.
No wonder Jane Birkin dumped his ass. A weirdo AND crap for talent!
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I'm generally one of those annoying Serge Gainsbourg fans because I do think he was a genius songwriter in his day, but there's no defense for "Lemon Incest." He'd boozed away most of his talent by then and was just doing things to shock.
I don't like Charlotte's music (she inherited her mother's lack of singing voice), but I think she's a great actress. The fact that she looks like a regular person and not a beautiful actress has been a benefit to her career.
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"You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" Beyond the Valley of the Dolls