Jennifer Aniston Wants Justin Theroux To Sign A Prenup

The National Enquirer (Side Note: Am I the only one who says "Enquiring minds want to know. I want to know!" every time he reads "The National Enquirer"?) says that when Justin Theroux asked Jennifer Aniston to be his wife, she didn't scream out YES! YES! before pulling out an ironclad engagement contract and making him sign it in Baby Alive pee (Baby Alive pee IS thicker than blood) so that he can't change his mind when the wine buzz wears off. But apparently, Jennifer did make Justin promise to sign a prenup before she took that 8.5 carat diamond engagement ring out of his hand. Uh huh.

Playing Rachel Green in almost every single movie she's in has made Jennifer Aniston over $120 million, so she's trying to protect her fortune and doesn't want to trade doing shots of $2,000-a-bottle tequila in a rented multi-million dollar Mexican beach house for doing shots of Sauza at the El Torito in Northridge. Even though Justin looks like a street hobo who lives in a gas station bathroom and steals all of his clothes from Salvation Army donation bins, he's actually worth $10 million himself, so he's happy to sign a prenup. Some source said this:

“She’s working feverishly with her lawyers to hash out the pre-nup so she and Justin can marry by the end of the year. Then they plan to start adoption proceedings so they can bring home a baby in 2013. Jen has found her romantic happy ending at last. But she’s been around the block enough times to know that she has to be realistic. God forbid this marriage fails, but if it does, Jen at least wants the security of knowing she won’t be wiped out financially.”

Justin signing that prenup is good news for all of us and by "all of us" I mean me. Because I hope I live long enough to see the headline: "Jennifer Aniston Leaves Entire $120 Million Fortune To Her Cabbage Patch Dolls!" I deserve that!

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:14pm.

Submitted by MAD on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:43pm.

If you've torched barbies in a bonfire on the beach, you're there, dude.

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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥

Submitted by MAD on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:13pm.

OMG I'm single and I get a cabbage doll every Christmas. From Santa. (ok I buy it myself.. yes... but its from Santa!!!) Does that mean I'm a loser? Or does it mean I have a Justin (and ix-nay on the adopting of any kids) in my future??

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:12pm.

Jaysus, look at this sloppy bitches tits she is half my age and mine are no where near that saggy!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2189840/Lindsay-Lohan-strug...

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"Shut up, brain! "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun." "Did he participate in the actual Olympics or Special Olympics?" Evil_Cupcake

Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:10pm.

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:19pm.
I wish she wasn't going the baby snatcher route. It smacks of copying The Saint. Get some IVF up in there, bitch, and birth 'em out natural!

I always thought she might not be able to "birth them natural" and has kept quiet about it.

Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:10pm.

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:19pm.

I wish she wasn't going the baby snatcher route. It smacks of copying The Saint. Get some IVF up in there, bitch, and birth 'em out natural!
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Risk losing her girlish(boyish) figure? Perish the thought! Besides, growing real boobs, whatever would she wear?

Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:08pm.

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:35pm.

She looks more like Evil Streisand everyday.
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ITA. Nose gonna look longer the older she gets

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:36pm.

Exactly.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:07pm.

What? She's calling dibs on barbie bonfires on the beach.
Truf, tho, glad girl's got 2 brain cells rubbing together.#don'tgivehimhalfyo'shitgirl

Submitted by Bree on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:06pm.

I don't get why people are so quick to have kids/adopt kids right after getting married. Don't you want to enjoy each other as a couple and have fun for a while together?

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 1:29pm.

*waits patiently for Jen/Justin sex tape*
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*prays to the Gods*

and I can't look at her now without thinking of her line in Horrible Bosses when she says to her dental assistant dude, "You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth." *sweats*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by PinkPostIt on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:05pm.

She looks more like Evil Streisand everyday.

Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 12:00pm.

Although that jacket probably cost $186,973.72, it looks like a Project Runway reject. THANK YOU, MOOD!

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:59am.

I bet these two have crazy sex. They look like they are REALLY into one another.

Good for them.

*waits patiently for Jen/Justin sex tape*

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."

Submitted by mike on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:58am.

They should BOTH have prenups. It's the sensible thing to do.

Submitted by Bigbendy on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:53am.

I think that they both look really good here. In my opinion the only reason for them to get married is if they want children. I think it's stupid otherwise. I mean really what's the point?

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:53am.

In this day and age only an idiot would marry without a pre-nup.

Submitted by Gatsby on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:52am.

I liked the latest story about Aniston "leaking" fake wedding stories to her inner circle (Beanie Babies?) in order to find out where the moles are among her "friends."

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:52am.

I would sign my name in the blood from my parents a la Menendez style just to taste the sweat from her ass crack.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers

Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:49am.

I wish she wasn't going the baby snatcher route. It smacks of copying The Saint. Get some IVF up in there, bitch, and birth 'em out natural!

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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012

Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:48am.

Don't blame her. She's had experience with divorce, and she's not an idiot child. Good for her.

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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:48am.

can't snark on that..smart woman...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by Two Drink Min on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:48am.

Seems reasonable. Can't blame her caution. The only person who would complain about signing one is someone who wants more than your love.

Submitted by Hotmami on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:48am.

Good girl. Using her brain this time!

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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by chewinsmoke on Fri, 08/17/2012 - 11:47am.

I'm sure this is true. They both have a ton of money, but her net worth is obviously significantly more, so it just makes sense.

Either way, I wouldn't want to be these two - I can only imagine the tabloid frenzy that would occur should this marriage go down the toilet too. That's a lot of pressure on both of them.

"My pug is smarter than your honor student."