Cue Up The Laugh Track: Vanessa Bryant Is Not A Gold Digger

I see you cursing the wind for disappointing you by not pushing Vanessa Bryant into that pool. The wind obviously loves gold diggers. Too bad for you!

Vanessa Laine Bryant was put in the shade the other day when she told New York Magazine that she wouldn’t be married to a dude who doesn’t win championships and if her man slut husband Kobe Bryant is going to be away from his family all the time, she expects him to bring home a championship every single year. But now Vanessa has jumped on her gold-plated Rolls Royce edition Big Wheel and is backpedaling away from that statement. Vanessa tells TMZ that everyone is twisting her words the same way a plastic surgeon twisted her original nose. If Kobe only brought home a sad face from losing all the time, she’d still stay married to him.

“I’m sad to hear that comments in my New York Magazine interview are being misconstrued and taken out of context. I have and will continue to support my husband’s dreams. I have been with Kobe for 13 years. I accepted his marriage proposal PRIOR to him winning any of his 5 championships with his teammates. For anyone to think otherwise is wrong. It is not about being married to a ‘winner’ it is about our sacrifice as a family. “

I really do love Vanessa Bryant more than Vanessa Bryant loves money. There she is, pretty much saying that she got with Kobe when he was nothing when everyone knew at the time that he was on his way to becoming a millionaire champion. Eventually (when he stops bringing home bonus checks), Vanessa will divorce Kobe’s cheating skank ass and when she does, she deserves every penny and more for playing the game flawlessly. Never give up the secrets to your success and never tell anyone that the sparkle from a championship ring temporarily masks the scent of side piece pussy wafting off of your husband’s crotch.

Kobe should be the one bragging about being married to a champion. A champion gold digger that is!