Kim Zolciak Stole Kanye & Kim Kardashian’s Future Baby’s Name

Leave it to a jacked up baby name to remind all of us that The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak was still pregnant with her next Life & Style cover inside blurb. For some reason, my brain dumped out the file drawer in my head labeled “highly important information,” because I completely forgot Kim was knocked up with her fourth child. But she was, and yesterday in Atlanta one of her assistants held down her birthin’ wig and had a lit cigarette ready when she popped out her second kid with Kroy Biermann. Kim tweeted (via UsWeekly) the news last night and then made Pimp Mama Kris reach for a pre-written cease and desist letter when she spit up the name of her second son:

KASH KADE BIERMANN!!!!!!!!

Kash Kade as in cascade, as in the stuff that knocks the shit off your dishes or the waterfall of miserable tears that will fall out of Kash Kade’s tear ducts when he realizes what his name is. Kash Kade sounds like the name of a failed professional wrestler turned DJ at Senor Frogs who decorates his apartment with empty limited-edition Red Bull cans and prides himself on having the most gold chains amongst all his friends. With a name like Kash Kade, that baby was definitely born with a rhinestone grill in his mouth.

And I was joking about Kim and Kanye naming their baby Kash Kade. They’re going to be more subtle than that when she butt births out Lucifer’s next spawn. Kim and Kanye will name him Ka$h Kardashian, thankyouverymuch.