Kim Zolciak Stole Kanye & Kim Kardashian's Future Baby's Name
Leave it to a jacked up baby name to remind all of us that The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak was still pregnant with her next Life & Style cover inside blurb. For some reason, my brain dumped out the file drawer in my head labeled "highly important information," because I completely forgot Kim was knocked up with her fourth child. But she was, and yesterday in Atlanta one of her assistants held down her birthin' wig and had a lit cigarette ready when she popped out her second kid with Kroy Biermann. Kim tweeted (via UsWeekly) the news last night and then made Pimp Mama Kris reach for a pre-written cease and desist letter when she spit up the name of her second son:
KASH KADE BIERMANN!!!!!!!!
Kash Kade as in cascade, as in the stuff that knocks the shit off your dishes or the waterfall of miserable tears that will fall out of Kash Kade's tear ducts when he realizes what his name is. Kash Kade sounds like the name of a failed professional wrestler turned DJ at Senor Frogs who decorates his apartment with empty limited-edition Red Bull cans and prides himself on having the most gold chains amongst all his friends. With a name like Kash Kade, that baby was definitely born with a rhinestone grill in his mouth.
And I was joking about Kim and Kanye naming their baby Kash Kade. They're going to be more subtle than that when she butt births out Lucifer's next spawn. Kim and Kanye will name him Ka$h Kardashian, thankyouverymuch.
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I considered the name Cash for a boy, but I was thinking along the lines of Johnny Cash. Anyway, I named him Hayden because at the time, NO ONE had even heard of that name (the only time I'd heard it was years ago on the show Coach). Now everyone's kid is named Hayden, Braden Schmeeladen, Poopladen, etc.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Some men have absolutely no taste in women...I mean, at all! Ugh!
Submitted by JTROS on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 9:55pm.
Jaxxen?? Why the fuck would you do that??? How fucking stupid!
I am glad that I am never having kids, because I always liked the name Jackson, even when no one was named it and what the recent babymaking whores have done to that name is criminal!!!
and this
Cayden
Jayden
Brayden
Zaden
In all honesty.....are people STILL doing this with the names??? Oy.
My friend who had her baby last month named her Jacqueline, and she revealed this name at the baby shower and people fucking cheered because it was so normal, yet pretty and there really aren't a lot of girls named this anymore. It really makes you stop and go....oh, yeah, Jacqueline. I remember that name. We don't have to be boring (the Jennifer, Jessica stuff), but let's ease back into SOME basics people!
She was adamant that she not be called Jackie, though....which I think is pretty inevitable for the most part..but I guess SHE can always call her Jacqueline and not Jackie and it may catch on.
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Good friend of mine is a high school math teacher. Her star students? Two basketball playing brothers named Peppermint and Butterscotch. They go by Pep and Scotch.
^^^^
Mommy obvs loved her Schnapps. Where's that bitch Peach? I need a Fuzzy Navel, and by NEED I mean FUCKING YESTERDAY.
Why does she always look like a Barbie-plastic fetal alcohol syndrome freak? And what's with the tongue peeping out? She looks like my dog on drugs-- only he's prettier.
I have to weigh in here. My real name is awful :(. I'm a girl with a boy's name. All of my siblings have normal names.
Anywhore, here are some of my friends, family and friends of friends kids' names:
Cayden
Jayden
Brayden
Zaden
Cash
Maeva
Jovie
Mikaela
Alexa
Addison
Madison
Jaxxen
Rylie
Sydnie
Tyler
Lila
Jordyn
Brooklyn
Khloe
Destinee
I know there's more but I can't remember them all.
Kompletley krappy name you gave your kid there Kim & Kroy.
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Shiitake happens...
I like the name Cash for a boy, just not with a K.
Cash, Mercedes, Bentley all sound super trashy to me. To each his own, I guess.
"Isn't one-and-only supposed to be like one? And only?"
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 6:13pm.
I have a cousin who named her daughter Khloe. She likes the Kardashians. Just thought I'd let someone know cuz it's been bugging me since I found out.
(((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
I am so, so sorry. That is hard to live with.
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Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
@Zomay.
Bwahahahahaaaaa!! Perfect.
Oh, MK! Sometimes you rub me wrong (which in a way is all kinds of yaaaas), but mostly you are just genius.
And Kroy. I just can't with that name, so any of his offspring is invalid, too.
Love,
Mabel
I have a cousin who named her daughter Khloe. She likes the Kardashians. Just thought I'd let someone know cuz it's been bugging me since I found out.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
LMAO IV! YOU'RE IN THE KASH KAB!
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"Shut up, brain! "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun." "Did he participate in the actual Olympics or Special Olympics?" Evil_Cupcake
They're so original with all the K's! hahaha So is the look and the sound and the hair and the lips and the show... she is still on a show, isn't she? #noidea
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I am named after a country. I love my name. People I have met/known: Dallas, T.Jay, Guthrie, Waylon, France, China, Birdie, Princess, Asia, India, LaLaKeesha DeMonique, Female (fuh-molly!), DeQuintravious. A pregnant girl I know is going to name her son Maddox¡!
"This world is a whore."
At least he has an ugly name to go with the ugly face he has no doubt inherited from his parents. Blind dating shouldn't be a problem for Kash Kade in the future.
She has an extremely unfortunate face.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
KASH KAB?
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:17pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:50am.
One of the worst names I've ever heard which is now one of the most common is Kayden/Cayden. Where & when the fuck did that stupid ass name become common?
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I have a nephew named Brayden, and to me it's equallly as shitty. When my mom told me that that was what my brother and his baby momma were gonna name their son, I was like......WHY????
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Right? Way to take a perfectly nice Irish name (Aidan) and fuck it up beyond all recognition. Jayden/Brayden/Kaiden/Laydon/Raidyn/whatever the hell else.
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SANTO DIOS! PRAISE HAY-SOOS CREASE-TOE!
I can't hate because John Rich named his son Cash Rich. And yes, I still love him.
Thank God these highly intelligent people are birthing babies..we need future scientists.
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Worrying is using your imagination
to create something you don’t want.
Cash Beer Man.......that's pretty good...he can work at Yankee Stadium...
Winnyfranfran -- this is the same bitch who constantly says to the mirror, "damn, I'm good-looking!" Can you believe that shit?
Her horse face confuses and frightens me.
Moonmaid -- totally. There are some very good local community colleges.
Louise & Whamo -- yes, Westwood is the one I was thinking of.
luvmehateme -- I hope the day those kids turn 18 they change their names. Their mother must be clinically insane, the stupid bitch.
Submitted by MTurtle on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:24pm.
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Austin. Texas.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by luvmehateme on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:55pm.
Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:59am.
My friends mom was a secretary at a school and there were twins named Orangelo and Lemongelo. As in orange Jello, lemon Jello.
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Good friend of mine is a high school math teacher. Her star students? Two basketball playing brothers named Peppermint and Butterscotch. They go by Pep and Scotch.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The Dash store in Calabasas supposably is closing. I know they have other outlets but I thought that one was the flagship or something.
Whamo and Twat- Those for profit schools are horrible. The reason Westwood started that whole "we'll help you pay your tuition" thing is because they are being sued by several states for being a scam. The amount they charge is ridiculous, I've heard anywhere from $20,000-75,000.
I go to school for graphic design and have heard about so many people going to Westwood and similar places and after a year they haven't learned squat, aren't qualified for a job, and are out $20,000. Then they end up enrolling with us at an actual school for a fraction of the cost, but having to start over from scratch.
BUT, I also have to say that some of it is the student's own gullibility. My husband has a coworker who is going to one of these "online colleges" and she just started a year ago (with no college previously). She claims she will be done with her bachelors degree in a year and a half and her masters a year after that- all while attending part time. Um yeah...that doesn't sound shady at all.
And I am so glad I never spent a minute watching this horrible woman on whatever stupid program she got her C-list fame from.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:53pm.
Whamo -- one of those trade school commercials says that if they can't find you a job after graduation they'll help pay your bills. Turns out this school overcharges their students and is being investigated, I believe, by the Illinois Attorney General's office. And most likely it's one of the schools that's not accredited. I agree with you, a good trade school that is accredited can help a lot of people, though not the one I'm talking about.
You can find the same programs, only much better and at a fraction of the price at a good local community college.
One of my students - who is not exactly worldly - had this great assessment of those for-profit trade schools: "Those always seemed like a shady ripoff deal to me."
Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:59am.
My friends mom was a secretary at a school and there were twins named Orangelo and Lemongelo. As in organge Jello, lemon Jello.
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Good friend of mine is a high school math teacher. Her star students? Two basketball playing brothers named Peppermint and Butterscotch. They go by Pep and Scotch. No fucking joke.
She has the urge to punch their mother every day.
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Whamo -- one of those trade school commercials says that if they can't find you a job after graduation they'll help pay your bills. Turns out this school overcharges their students and is being investigated, I believe, by the Illinois Attorney General's office. And most likely it's one of the schools that's not accredited. I agree with you, a good trade school that is accredited can help a lot of people, though not the one I'm talking about.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:26am.
Computer says no.
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I love that show. Remember when the little girl is coming in the hospital and the receptionist says "Age?" And the mom is all "Tell her how old you are honey!" and the little girl pulls her cute little girl schtick and is all "Next week I am gonna be this many! (holds up 6 fingers)" and the unamused receptionist shot her the nastiest looked and sighed all loud and said "Ummm, so your FIVE!? Ugh!"
I loved it. I die every time I see it. And she also has in the computer that the little girl is supposed to get a hysterectomy and she is all "So, is she gonna get it, or what?"
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"I'll rip your tongue out of your mouth...and lick my balls with it!"
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:38pm.
Fuck Joseph, I've been hearing about that damn kid for the past fucking 10 years, bitch!!!
LMAO! Right! Then there is the, "I was a wreck!" lady. Good to know former wreck lady is now a medical technician. :-\
There used to be one for AmeriCorps with this blonde chola/rockabilly/Rosie the Riveter girl, that I really enjoyed, but that one didn't air much.
No idea who she is, but wtf happened to her mouth?
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.
Louise -- OMG, I forgot the tax attorneys, the ads for catherers, cash for gold and the settlement/annuity ads -- how did I miss those? They always have that same bitch on for the trade school, "I'm making life better for myself and for Joseph." Fuck Joseph, I've been hearing about that damn kid for the past fucking 10 years, bitch!!!
Submitted by elmo533 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:03pm.
I don't know where you watch it, but all the commercial breaks are trade school commercials.
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I have no problem with that if they were actually good schools, I mean there is nothing wrong with a good trade as a matter of of fact a lot more people SHOULD learn a trade as you can make a hell of a lot of money with a good trade. WAY TOO MANY kids go to university drop a shit load of money only to get some useless degree and end up working in a cubical for 30K a year.
The problem with the Schools they advertise on Maury furthers the problem because the give out huge student loans for these schools and the courses they give don't have legal accreditation for the trade or particular field. They get ill educated people with no right to get these loans in the first place to sign the dotted line and you're paying back a loan for the rest of your life for a useless diploma.
I watched a program on it a while back and it's fucking criminal!
ELMO- lol holy shit where are you from? I have heard my husband use the term "ratchet ass" but never ever anyone else til I read your post just now...
A good friend of mine did his social service at the University's Library. He checked the library card to check in/out of the books.
He encounter a guy named Denis Rotman Gonzalez. I am not making this up. This happened and he is somewhere in the same city as I am.
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Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
Wig Olympics.
I don't give a wet fart about this trick.
Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:16pm.
im from australia so i dont know much bout this bitch, but my golly, this bitch and her husband look like they were the rejects from the mattell factory.
and he just has the "ahhh deeehhhh" face.
It looks like he's at the opening of the new wax museum sculpture in her stead..... aren't you supposed to stay away from botox and fillers when your preggers?
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Back from vacation? Vacation from where? The Willy Wonka factory? The Al Jolson Resort? MERCURY? MK - 8/1/12
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:13pm.
I'm embarrassed that I know this. *ahem*
"I have a structured settlement but I need cash now! Call JG Wentworth, 877-CASH-NOW!".
(you'll notice that's cash with a "c")
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:50am.
One of the worst names I've ever heard which is now one of the most common is Kayden/Cayden. Where & when the fuck did that stupid ass name become common?
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I have a nephew named Brayden, and to me it's equallly as shitty. When my mom told me that that was what my brother and his baby momma were gonna name their son, I was like......WHY????
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"What if all you understand could fit into the center of a hand? And then you found it wasn't you, who held the sum of everything you knew?"
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:11pm.
...or maybe Jennifer Aniston opened a can with her chin?
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LMAO!!
loopy lol!! And she looks like a knockoff barbie if you push on the top of its head and make all the features bulge out.
@ Twatty...LOL, I know there are some strange spellings for sure. I don't understand the rational behind it. I think originally it was a "now we are free and can name ourselves whatever we want and since we were all give white names in the past we'll go the other way and make sure you know we ain't white thankyouverymuch" type thing but SWEET GEEEZUZ people putting La in front of anything doesn't mean it's a name OR it's classy.
i dont know much about this kim bitch and i dont want to.
anyway her husband looks like a ken doll. except uglier and dumber looking, so stupid that he thought taco bell, was a mexican phone company.