Open Post: Hosted By Teddy The Asshole Cat

It took me about 11 seconds into this video to immediately realize that I love Teddy the Asshole Cat. He is one of us.

via Videogum

Posted by: Michael K

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Open Post

Submitted by congyi70 on Fri, 10/12/2012 - 5:09am.

Submitted by shashen on Sun, 08/26/2012 - 9:41am.

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Submitted by sinjin on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 1:01pm.

I'm late to this party 'cause I was out all day Wednesday at a home show. I love this cat. MK is correct, this cat is "one of us".

He should be our mascot. :)

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 11:04am.

oh yah i forgot to type here that the brazilian male gymnastics team, did some fap porn with some chicka, and its on the net now.

and it looks like they did it whilst at the olympic village.

Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 10:35am.

People are bastards - it took 37 years of blind, dickhead, wanker experiences to realise this. Sad thing is, I now know when people are outright lying and it makes me sad... :(

***************
Certified Slore

Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 8:51am.

Submitted by Hockey fan on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 9:55am.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:01pm.

Mani, it's not always that easy. My husband used to be the funniest person I know. He was goofy , charming and attentive. Now he is a bitter , cynical dick who has something mean to say about everything and everybody but himself. He refuses to take his mood meds and we are stuck with the aftermath....

^^^^
TROO DIS.
My partner and I used to have so much fun...until I actually moved in with her. Then I became Alice the maid, doing everything around the house bc she's a lazy slob, making dinner, and feeding pets and kids (if they're even around--mostly they just come and go whenever they want). She gets on the computer the minute she gets home and games or spends literally HOURS on Pinterest or on slash. yeah, really makes me want to be here. Sux. It makes me a bitter nasty person too, and I hate it. I should leave.
_______________________________________
UBF and Hockey - I had to chime in because I was exactly where you two are at when I was married. It took a long time to get out, but has been worth every second of peace of mind since.

I'm never one to advocate the break-up of a marriage or a serious relationship, but as a PRIEST told me (if you can believe it) - if you're with someone who is abusing substances (as mine was) or has a serious mental illness but refuses treatment, you owe it to yourself (and children, if they're in that situation) to get out as they'll only drag you down with them in one or two ways - you'll either start using drugs/alcohol to cope with the stress, or you'll sink into depression.

It's a very, very tough situation to be in and my heart goes out to both of you. I hope you're both able to find peace.

___________________________
I always knew that Lassie's successor would be a chihuahua. (Cut to my chihuahua who spent a full 2 minutes looking for his own b-hole before giving up and going back to bed for the 10th time this morning.) - MK

Submitted by Hockey fan on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 8:25am.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:01pm.

Submitted by Hockey fan on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 8:19am.

OMG, Teddy is *so* my cat. we call her "whore" or "fucking whore" bc she does this stuff all the time, and we have to chase her out of the room and then clean up the mess. She had a name once, but now she's just Whore. And then she sashays her whore ass in front of the dogs and rubs all up on them (learned it from Mama, I think), and then gets pissy when the dogs chase her. She truly is a Fucking Whore.

Submitted by Granny Clampett on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 8:07am.

That video is an hourly occurrence at my house

"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West

Submitted by Thamar on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 6:43am.

I am going to mountains to paint. Whatcha think these here camper shoes this person is pushing are like? Do they have actually have anything to do with camping?

I need new shoes. Cool shoes. Germans make nice shoes.

SHOES SHOES SHOES!

FUCK SHELTER GIMME SHOES! ! ! !

Submitted by IsoldeMae on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 1:34am.

My cat Jasper does that all the time with drinking glasses. Esxpecially when I'm sleeping. Brat

Submitted by fdskfjk04 on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 1:00am.

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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:43am.

Wait: "The Canyons" has wrapped already? Didn't they just start shooting that opus like Friday afternoon? Have they already blown through the $4,316 budget?

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 08/16/2012 - 12:06am.

He is not an asshole. He is cat being a cat. Love how he yawns after breaking the bottle!

Submitted by Fucking Insane on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:58pm.

Just when you thought shit couldn't get fucking weirder with people and their addictions:

http://thechive.com/2012/08/09/self-portraits-done-to-a-different-drug-e...

Submitted by veryoldbat on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:47pm.

Submitted by crazyassmom on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:21pm.

Yeah, lets hear it for marriage!! Wahahahaha...
Yep..I'm there too. Sucks asshole!

====================
"Birds are doomed when pussies can fly"- MK

Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:06pm.

lol bacon ive been trail blazing across all posts.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 10:05pm.

Bacony, is that how Hot Lips wakes you up?!? That's not so bad, hahaha wet kisses and cheek pats too! lol

Ever notice how MK puts cute little puppy and doggy hero stories (because they ARE wonderful!) but the kitties are the ones that have all the fun? hahahaha *onto you MK* :)

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by BaconSlut on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:58pm.

@loopy

Just cant keep up with everyhooker tonight. I hope that all wake up feeling better in the morning. :)

Lotsa stress around here, as well. I don't know what I would do without my boob squeezes (Jack?), and cheek/nose pats in the morning from Hot Lips!

Most likely out for the night, but hugs, and passionate butt fondles, to all!

***********************************************

Submitted by loopygorilla on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:35pm.

my cat does that same thing, sits there all day, then gets up on the table to push one random thing off, and then walks off like nothing happened.

Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:32pm.

Peace!

http://www.break.com/index/what-skrillex-on-piano-would-sound-like-23121...

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by Thamar on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:18pm.

My cat Is just like this cat! He is a criminal. He was a street rescue.I taught him to talk to me. Well sorta, you know cat talk.

Go Asshole cat! Hahs

Submitted by Uptown James on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:17pm.

I don't care for that cat. It's like he belongs to Ayn Romney.
____________________________________________

"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:47pm.

You too Lucy♥! ;)

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:42pm.

@ Within♥♥

I've been shivering everyday with worry wondering what she's been up to, and now that I know, my life will be smooth-sailing from here on. The Situation has the fuggest face I've ever seen - he wears his shirt up to distract us from it!

Goodnight, and sweet dreams! ;o)

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:30pm.

Lucy♥, LOL at that update on your idol, and "she was booed on entering" hahaha And does the Situation EVER wear his shirt down?!?! UGH!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:23pm.

Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:50pm.

FunLuvinCriminal (HA! to your name) - the interventionist greeted the subject with 'I was where you are now 17 years ago.' LOVE. She also told the girl drama queen perpetual teenager of a mother that she thought doing the intervention was going to be a waste of everyone's time if the mother didn't grow up. SWOON. Also, send her ass to the Lohans' house ex post haste.
***************
It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:15pm.

I'm sure you're all on the edges of your seats wondering what Samantha Brick - the world's most irresistible beauty, and envy of women everywhere - is up to these days. Well, worry no more!

Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:06pm.

'Nite awesome beeeeches! Thanks for the laughs today. :)

*********************
Just here for the fun

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:03pm.

Night night Deb!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:48pm.

Good night to all you hos and your asshole pussies!XO

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by mike on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:22pm.

I generally love your pervy links, EH, but the juggalos vid was kinda meh.

Only a few days away from the relaunch of IsAnyoneUp, though!

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:46pm.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:13pm.

Yep. Or bust!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:43pm.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:05pm.
--
Not just want, make it so, if you can Deb!!!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:42pm.

Geez, UBF! I am so sorry to hear that. It's eerie because another friend of mine has a husband that sounds like yours.
He goes off his meds. He drinks too much. He's a whiner extrordinaire who also manages to be a bully! She supports him while he is supposedly improving their home (he has carpentry and building skills and was an architect).
He has alienated many of her/their other friends and family members. And you can add me to that list now. It sucks.
I think she stays with him because he's basically unemployable, unhealthy, and has no other friends. It's a sense of duty or something... He isn't even NICE to her, which sucks.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:41pm.

Deb, sounds like a wonderful time for a heart to heart and some vino, etc. etc. etc. etc. at the perfect time too!

@UBF, I know people like this, very sad to see someone close to you become disappointed with life before your eyes. It is darn hard to keep your spirits up with that on a daily basis. It takes a toll. :(

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:38pm.

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 9:01pm.

It's still there trust me!

Deb...Love always.

Don't worry! You don't need to respond.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:35pm.

@FunLuvin - Roger that. I am guilty of wanting the "change" of living on the same continent -dwelling, even *said in Snagglepuss voice*!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:39pm.

So I guess juggalos don't realize AIDS is a factor...
NSFW!
http://www.worldstaruncut.com/uncut/49604

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:32pm.

Yes, Within. Tomorrow I need to work. She doesn't get in 'til Friday around 1pm, so I have time to prepare then too. It will be great to have some time with my friend, and CHILL.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:31pm.

Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:28pm.

@Deb - very much agreed. But I figured we were talking about the real biggie type deal breaker issues here, not the "stop leaving the remote between the couch cushions" type stuff.

Growth together is one thing, demanding change is a whole 'nother type of row for a hoe to hoe, y'know. ;)

*********************
Just here for the fun

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:27pm.

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:52pm.
--
Deb, when do you head out? I'm afraid I was in and out and didn't catch everything. I seem to have a knack for posting just after you say Ciao, lolol. Is it this weekend?

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:24pm.

Mani6 - Sorry I MUST respond! Lol! I hope so, Mani. I really hope so.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:22pm.

@FunLovinCriminal - I get what you are saying. But I have to say that changing certain behaviors and attitudes (we're none of us perfect, after all) doesn't mean that we're necessarily changing ourselves from who we essentially are.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Event Horizon on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:21pm.

Reading these post, the thing that sticks out the most is that ya'll seem to feel under appreciated and disregarded. Your husbands don't seem to want compromise or considerate of your wants, needs and desires and it's causing serious strain on some of ya'lls relationships.

Here's what I would do:

Take a holiday...say the upcoming memorial day and schedule a couple vacation and sick days around that date. Grab a buddy, relative or co-worker and be out and don't tell him shit! If you're unsure he'll be unable to take of the kids for a week or two, make plans before hand. Be out and just party your fucking ass off and have a TON OF FUN! Remember to take plenty of pics and post them on FB where he can see. Don't contact him or anyone who talks to him for the entire time your away. When you come and the inevitable questions arise...don't address anything and simply reiterate the complaints and unhappiness you've been telling him about for years.

You see, once someone knows the way you feel about them, once someone thinks you're stuck and think that they have power over you, they stop appreciating what you bring to the table and the opportunities those qualities can open for you. Not only will he have to take over the responsibilities you've been covering all these years, he'll be forced to see that you can be happy, productive and possibly better off without him. And the fact that you can keep such a seemingly big event in your life secret from him will drive any man who has an ounce of feeling for you to be more appreciative of you.

Don't explain yourself.
Never speak of your little outing with him.
Whenever he brings it up, just keep restating "I'm really unhappy with this aspect of our marriage and I would like to work on it."

b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."

Submitted by FunLuvinCriminal on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:20pm.

Intervention is awesome. Haven't seen the new person yet. They are such not-shit-taking hard bitches. *swoon*

*********************
Just here for the fun

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:20pm.

Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:47pm.
--
ITA Mani6!

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠░░░░

Submitted by Mani6 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:17pm.

Sometimes when people are married for some years they tend to forget why they married that person in the first place. Work pressure or finances can be a drain on anyone's marriage. The person you married is still there and still has the same qualities that attracted you to them in the first place...try to find it again.

Don't worry! You don't need to respond.

Submitted by joe shmoe on
1 min 10 sec ago
The more I see that CD
1 min 47 sec ago
Watched it on mute. Stopped
2 min 36 sec ago
I feel very guilty watching
5 min 13 sec ago
She needs to loosen up a
7 min 24 sec ago
This deserves to be
10 min 4 sec ago
Didn't watch it, but the
10 min 5 sec ago
Submitted by Irma on Sun,
12 min 38 sec ago
He's just the worst. In
14 min 54 sec ago
Thanks a feckin' lot. This
17 min 52 sec ago