Being Kristen Stewart Is Hard: An Essay By Jodie Foster
Jodie Foster is sort of like the unofficial Captain Save-A-Ho of Hollywood, because she seems to always come to the defense of floundering hos everyone is shitting on. Jodie defended Mel Gibson's shitty ass when everyone hated on him for being an anti-Semitic, blow job-needing ass boil marinating in dirty jacuzzi water. And now Jodie is pulling out her shank and defending Kristen Stewart who starred with her in The Panic Room.
In Jodie Foster's piece for The Daily Beast, she starts off by writing that if she was a young actress today, she would've immediately checked out of the Hollywood game to keep the media from knocking pussies out of her mouth with their cameras. I put it much more eloquently than Jodie did, but that's basically what she said. Jodie says that the media lifts up young celebrities only to later tear them down and punch their souls into dust. Jodie goes on to write that she met a 10-year-old Kristen Stewart on the set of The Panic Room and grew to love her. Jodie once told Kristen Stewart's mom to try to talk her out of doing the acting thing, but her mom said that it's what she wanted.
Jodie then writes some ultra dramatic shit about how KStew was probably an innocent white-haired child who freely danced around at the beach and now she's a hard shell of bad bitch who is constantly getting attacked by the paparazzi. In other words, Jodie's been hitting the bong KStew got her for her birthday:
There’s this image I have of a perfect moment. It comes to me as a square format 8mm home movie with ’70s oversaturated reds and blues, no sound, just a scratchy loop … there’s a little white-haired girl twirling in the surf. She’s singing at the top of her lungs, jumping and spinning around in the cold water, all salty, sandy, full of joy and confidence. She’s unconscious of the camera, of course, in her own world. The camera shakes a little. Perhaps her mom’s laughing behind the lens. Could a child be more loved than in this moment? She’s perfect. She is absolutely perfect.
Cut to: Today … A beautiful young woman strides down the sidewalk alone, head down, hands drawn into fists. She’s walking fast, darting around huge men with black cameras thrusting at her mouth and chest. “Kristen, how do you feel?” “Smile Kris!” “Hey, hey, did you get her?” “I got her. I got her!” The young woman doesn’t cry. Fuck no. She doesn’t look up. She’s learned. She keeps her head down, her shades on, fists in her pockets. Don’t speak. Don’t look. Don’t cry.
My mother had a saying that she doled out after every small injustice, every heartbreak, every moment of abject suffering. “This too shall pass.” God, I hated that phrase. It always seemed so banal and out of touch, like she was telling me my pain was irrelevant. Now it just seems quaint, but oddly true … Eventually this all passes. The public horrors of today eventually blow away. And, yes, you are changed by the awful wake of reckoning they leave behind. You trust less. You calculate your steps. You survive. Hopefully in the process you don’t lose your ability to throw your arms in the air again and spin in wild abandon. That is the ultimate F.U. and—finally—the most beautiful survival tool of all. Don’t let them take that away from you.
THE DRAMA! Get a grip, Jodie.
Jodie's piece is really well-written and you can get it all here if you want it, but what she basically says is that the media sucks, hos need to chill, Kristen Stewart's life is hard, the beach is fun and everyone should respect the "privacy please" sign hanging on a famous actor's front door. I get it. But Jodie forget to write a little open note to KStew: the next time you want a married dude to lick your punane, take it inside. Now those are words to live by.
And some of you probably didn't even read any of the words above, because you're still getting over the fact that it was Kristen Stewart in The Panic Room and not one of the Culkin boys.
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That's some fairly histrionic writing. She should stick to acting, which she's good at.
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:54pm.
FFS, I am SO tired of "the media" getting all the blame. No one forces these people to become public figures
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Completely agree, there are ways to be an actor and still have a totally normal life but some people like Kristen Stewart prefer to court attention and complain about it. If she wants a private life she can take some of the only good advice Jodie Foster ever gives and go to college for a few years, she has tens of millions of dollars if the media pressure is too much for her she can pull a Demi Moore and go life in Idaho for a few years and then like with Demi she'll show her true colors when she comes crawling back begging for the spotlight again.
Submitted by saltydog88 on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:30pm.
Fuck Jodie Foster, what a piece of shit that woman is. She's a lesbian yet refuses to come out and support her fellow GLBT community members. She defends misogynistic, hateful bigots like Mel Gibson so her shitty beaver movie doesn't flop (not that it helped in that department) and now she's defending Kristen Fucking Stewart who is the most insufferable ingrate in Hollywood. Kristen Stewart has been bitching and moaning about the papparazi since the first Twilight movie, yet she doesn't think twice about signing up to do 4 sequels.
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THIS!!!
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Kitten Kaboodle - a Disney ho who did the ho stroll right ;)
Where is OP?!?!?!?
Then I need to get something stronger than lemonaide.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Oh shit Cupcake, you're right. *braces self*
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:09pm.
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:54pm.
FFS, I am SO tired of "the media" getting all the blame. No one forces these people to become public figures ========================================== To be fair some people court the attention of the paps outside of their work while others simply want to act. Some don't want nor need this over the top adulation. I think these pap (that in turn feed the media) have gone completely overboard. Some of them are literally going through the garbage at the end of your drivway to see what you eat or what pills you may be taking, to me that just too much, anyway JMO so what the heck LOL :)
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I'm pretty sure Jodie Foster didn't call the paps to Yale. What I read about that was absurd. No wonder she's protective.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:36pm.
I guess if I was stalked by someone and they tried to blow the president away with a gun I'd be a little protective of other stars and privacy too., especially after the fuckstorm of paps stormed Yale afterwards making her life Hell.
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I never thought of it that way Evil, and I do agree. Excellent point.
Count down now to this thread turning into a political one. LOL!
I guess if I was stalked by someone and they tried to blow the president away with a gun I'd be a little protective of other stars and privacy too., especially after the fuckstorm of paps stormed Yale afterwards making her life Hell.
*shrugs*
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:09pm.
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:54pm.
FFS, I am SO tired of "the media" getting all the blame. No one forces these people to become public figures
==========================================
To be fair some people court the attention of the paps outside of their work while others simply want to act. Some don't want nor need this over the top adulation. I think these pap (that in turn feed the media) have gone completely overboard. Some of them are literally going through the garbage at the end of your drivway to see what you eat or what pills you may be taking, to me that just too much, anyway JMO so what the heck LOL :)
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I've known someone who worked as a pap, and I know a few people with big Hollywood connections. Per them, most of the time the paps are there because the celeb has notified them.
Yes, in a few cases like a big scandal they will go through trash, stalk people, but that is rare and it does not last for long.
It's hard for me to have any sympathy for Stewart. She screwed around in broad daylight , in public, with her married lover. Face the music, kid.
Submitted by Skycaptaineddie on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:06pm.
We've been on the neurological ward all week because my son is ill, and a nurse walked into the room while this KS crap was ON THE NEWS (The sparkle vampire was making his first post-lap controversy appearance). She studied the clip, then turned to me and asked, "Who the hell are these a-holes, anyhow?" And that's how we do it in the real part of L.A., Baby! =)
Ha! Ha! Very astute nurse! Hope your son is well very soon!!
Fuck Jodie Foster, what a piece of shit that woman is. She's a lesbian yet refuses to come out and support her fellow GLBT community members. She defends misogynistic, hateful bigots like Mel Gibson so her shitty beaver movie doesn't flop (not that it helped in that department) and now she's defending Kristen Fucking Stewart who is the most insufferable ingrate in Hollywood. Kristen Stewart has been bitching and moaning about the papparazi since the first Twilight movie, yet she doesn't think twice about signing up to do 4 sequels.
Submitted by Skycaptaineddie on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:06pm.
Great story, and more importantly, I hope your son gets better ASAP!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@islandgirl
LMFAO!!!
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I don't really have a problem with her sticking up for her friend... but it irks the SHIT out of me that she did it publicly. Stick a stamp on that bitch and put it in the mail. We don't all need to know about it.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:45pm.
Foster seems to have a soft spot for assholes. First she defended the undefendable Gibson, now KStew. I don't now whether to applaud her courage or laugh at her naivete
or she really really sucks at picking friends.
@ Weezy...LOL :0
Submitted by KidL on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:54pm.
FFS, I am SO tired of "the media" getting all the blame. No one forces these people to become public figures
==========================================
To be fair some people court the attention of the paps outside of their work while others simply want to act. Some don't want nor need this over the top adulation. I think these pap (that in turn feed the media) have gone completely overboard. Some of them are literally going through the garbage at the end of your drivway to see what you eat or what pills you may be taking, to me that just too much, anyway JMO so what the heck LOL :)
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 3:01pm.
OMG, I thought it was Susan Boyle even though I remember now that you told me a while ago that it wasn't. Early-onset Alzheimer's or simply too much hydrogen peroxide? (Garnier Nutrisse 100 Extra-Light Natural Blonde/Chamomile)
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Who are you calling silly cow?
We've been on the neurological ward all week because my son is ill, and a nurse walked into the room while this KS crap was ON THE NEWS (The sparkle vampire was making his first post-lap controversy appearance). She studied the clip, then turned to me and asked, "Who the hell are these a-holes, anyhow?" And that's how we do it in the real part of L.A., Baby! =)
Camera zooms in for a close up of my serious face, reading the eloquent prose from Jodie Foster, zoom in closer to the one, small tear sliding down my face. * Fin *
Applause
thank you. *sniff*
"Shut up, bitch - it hurts to be beautiful" - Richie K. 2005
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:45pm.
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For the last time I was not masturbating I wa.......ok I was masturbating:P
I knew it! I mean, there goes....some kind of bird or something.
*uploads video named "Canadian Slap Shot Solo!" to pornhub.com*
@Mickey - Susan? Don't you mean Margueritte?!
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Dark-sided!
she had Mel Gibson's back after his disgusting psycho racist behaviour so she has no cred.
OMG these two need to go to smiling school.. You can dress them up but...
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:49pm.
Damn, the one time I wrote something laughworthy is was totally by accident.
Hi IF! Long time, indeed. I almost didn't recognize you now that you've ditched Susan.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
How can anyone pay attention to starving orphans or cancer when this TRAGEDY is going on????? I can hardly work due to my extreme distress. I might need to go to counseling!
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Boo-hoo. Jodie's trite little essay made me cry! (NOT)
FFS, I am SO tired of "the media" getting all the blame. No one forces these people to become public figures. As Carrie Fisher put it in her latest book, not only do you get paid millions, but you get treated far better than most people ever will in their lives.
Stewart is an adult. She made choices. She fucked around in PUBLIC with a married man. Face the music, bitch.
Awww the Patron Saint of assholes
the media does not lift people up the fan do then the media comes in second.
It would be a nice speech if it was aimed at say a single mother dealing with an abusive husband or maybe a woman struggling to deal with the death of a child, but that it's directed at a celebrity who wants for nothing and is in a situation of her own making is pretty fucking dumb.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:45pm.
Foster seems to have a soft spot for assholes.
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Tthat sentence just made me laugh! Hi mickey, long time no talk!
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Dark-sided!
It's simple Jodie, if Kristen doesn't want to be in the public eye then her ass shouldn't be an actress...she shouldn't have accepted the lead in a popular trilogy that I refuse to read/watch......Then on top of it have a relationship with her co-star which was never admitted until now...
Don't get me started with her being a whore....
And yet another one vying for attention now that the Olympics are over. Oh well,the week isn't over yet so there will be more to attention-seeking fuckery to come....*sigh*
"There’s this image I have of a perfect moment. It comes to me as a square format 8mm home movie with ’70s oversaturated reds and blues, no sound, just a scratchy loop..."
I had one of those moments last weekend, then I put down the bong.
*blows nose after crying my eyes out for poor Kristin*
The HUMANITY! Imagine this poor, inarticulate bad actress being photographed and given public scrutiny for her public cunnilingus-ing by a married man! SNIFF! Oh here I go again....BWAAAH!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Nanners on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:26pm.
Hey, I'm just paraphrasing Jodie's BFF Mel!
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Oh I get it now..I still got your back...actually it's just an excuse to stare at your ass:P
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:25pm.
For the last time, I was BIRDWATCHING! I was NOT peeking in your windows!
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For the last time I was not masturbating I wa.......ok I was masturbating:P
You sure do like all that money you made though, don't you, Jodie?
Foster seems to have a soft spot for assholes. First she defended the undefendable Gibson, now KStew. I don't now whether to applaud her courage or laugh at her naivete.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I thought Jodie's essay was overwrought and plodding -- she definitely wanted to trot out that Yale degree. She makes too many excuses for Kristen, same as that Marlow Stern at the Daily Beast.
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
OK, maybe she's not completely classy.
But I'm thinking she might be menopausal.
That excuses some things:) Just kidding--not really.
If Kristen Stewart was seriously 10 in the panic room, then she was the oldest looking ten year old of all time. I thought she was like 16 in that movie.
I'm going to write an editorial about Hollywood bitches that need to come outta the closet. It's gonna be long, preachy and self righteous as fuck.
whatever you say jodie...i'm more interested in the twink doing the side eye on the right...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:34pm.
Jodie does not do dresses very well, she'd look better in...well not a dress.
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She doesn't do well with strapless or anything that shows off too much of her chest/lats. Her calves are incredible though.
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Why don't you dance with me? I'm not no limburger.
would it kill them to slap on a little lipstick?
But isn't all this faaaaakkee?
Hey, I have an idea!! How about you STFU, Sugartits? Or use the GD phone like Lucifer suggested?
Jodie's ode to public scrutiny reminds me of an excerpt from Brian Griffin's book "Faster Than the Speed of Love" from Family Guy.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 2:34pm.
Jodie does not do dresses very well, she'd look better in...well not a dress.
I've only seen her look nice a handful of times in a dress.
I had an old GF that look very much like Jodie, actually in the poster picture of her from the movie Maverick she looked like her so much it was uncanny. They both had the small itty bitty titties too.
She was good girl that one was:)
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The past is the past! Stop bringing it up! Stop throwing it in my face!
*raises hand in the wind toward the on-coming storms and cries NNNNNOOOO!*
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Dark-sided!
Oh Sappho please shut up. Kristen's been in the business all her life, she knows the routine.