Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 14, 2012 / Posted by:

The bird caca Michael Jackson! 

Jesus took a break from showing his image on banana peels and the Virgin Mary pressed pause on showing her image on tree trunks and labia moles, so that one of their angels Michael Jackson could grace mortal eyes with his image on weird shit. Literally. 29-year-old Brandon Tudor of Oswega, Illinois was driving with his girlfriend and daughters in his ’96 Cadillac Seville when a bird’s b-hole hovering above his windshield became the portal for MJ to show himself. After the bird shat out a few drops of ass paint, Michael Jackson’s spirit moonwalked into its stream right before it hit Brandon’s windshield and BOOM. Brandon told The Chicago Sun-Times (via Arbroath) that he immediately saw Michael Jackson’s face in that splash of bird caca and the King of Poop was immediately born.

“Everybody loves it. There’s not one person who’s seen it that doesn’t agree it looks like Michael Jackson.”

Correction, Brandon, I don’t really see Michael Jackson. I see Tweety Bird wearing a Mary Tyler Moore wig, but that’s just me. Brandon was hoping that most hos aren’t like me and saw Michael Jackson’s face in that bird poop, because he put the windshield on eBay and started the bid at $500. Surprisingly enough, MoPA (The Museum of Poop Art aka the museum where James Franco always has an exhibit) didn’t buy Brandon’s piece of windshield shit art. The auction ended without getting one bid.

You know, if Michael Jackson really wanted to show himself in a shower of bird caca, why couldn’t he show himself in a shower of bird caca that hit Janet Jackson’s face. It could’ve been his way of slapping Janet with bird shit for bringing the crazy on his daughter. And yes, that breaking glass sound you just heard is Detective La Toya dropping her magnifying glass and exiting stage left, because she just CAN’T with this.

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