Open Post: Hosted By The Spice Girls' Closing Ceremony Performance
In case you're like me and missed most of last night's Olympics Closing Ceremony (including, apparently, Prince Hot Ginge singing along to shit and making facial expressions that I'll probably turn into taint decals), here's what it looks like when the 90s squirts a whole lot of glitter lube on its palm and gives all of our souls a sloppy hand job. Baby Spice, Scary Spice, Sporty Spice and Ginger Spice (who's more like Sun-In Spice now) all twerked their asses and moved their mouths to a recorded track like they've never EVER moved their mouths to a recorded track before while Posh posed, stood, posed (example: see this masterpiece GIF) and busted out a gallery of raw emotions from "bitchface" to "bitchfacewhilestandingontopofataxi."
If I looked at a mirror while pissing, I'd give a wider variety of facial expressions than Posh did while performing a song about spicing up lives and shit. But we should give Posh some credit, because she did climb stairs during that performance and that's the most physical activity she's done in her entire life. Posh was probably so burnt out after that they had to carry her to her custom Hermes leather fainting couch and hand feed her a calorie-free lemon seed for some nourishment.
I'm totally disappointed that the Closing Ceremony didn't include one last Olympic event: a bitchface-off between Posh and McKayla Maroney.
NBC keeps ripping down every video of the Spice Girls' full performance, so you'll have to click here to see it all. Gawker also has a clip of the Kate Bush song that NBC cut (among other things) from the Closing Ceremony, because they wanted to remind you one last time that they are the gold medal champions of shitty Olympic coverage.
And a quick Programming Note reminder: My ass will be on a plane for most of the day, so J. Harvey and Sweetas will be filling in for more again today. I'll be back full-time tomorrow. There's WiFi on my plane and yes, I still can't believe there's WiFi on planes and it's better than nothing, but plane WiFi is the worst kind of WiFi. It goes out all the time. It reminds me of when I had AOL dial-up and yelled at my sister every time she picked up the phone while I was downloading a 10 second-long gay porn clip. So today when my plane WiFi goes out, I'm totally going to yell at the flight attendant, "A bitch is trying to download some gay porn here!"
• 
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Night ESE, just don't bite anything! :)
"A bitch is trying to download some gay porn here!" - *filed under MUST be USED in conversation SOON!* OLOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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well... i have to go duct tape top hats onto camels so they look presentable when they recieve their awards at the hump or spit ceremony... you'd be amazed at how seriously they take this!... it's a neverending task, that is my work, folks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qjrNuQz14I
see ya all later!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
SDR, ya into the bath salts again? Dried brains, that's the new pink! LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 12:39am.
oh, i've got not a worry in the world... anybody will tell ya, when ya look for brains, look right past ESE!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 12:24am.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 12:18am.
in other words... take note, people!... SDR will be able to bite a full year after she's gone!... sounds like some wicked zombie business goin' on!
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Ahahahahahahahaha!
*dances behind ESE like Thriller ghouls*
Ya know, the rumor going around says the zombie apocalypse is gonna start in Florida. Maybe you need to stock up on more ammo.
*shapens fangs*
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 12:07am.
@ Evil
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OK then thanks :)
Submitted by Bigbendy on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:58pm.
I actually do feel badly for the guy, because he takes care of his appearance, always looks clean, AND super yummy, so I think it bugs him that someone called him a drug dealer. Not to mention I told him his cool pony tail was what made me like him.
I would be pissed if I had to chop my hair off, so I totally understand his upset. I have only been trying to make him laugh. I told him maybe if he got a tight perm, that he might be able to keep the length. Haha. Again, he was not amused.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:56pm.
How old are you folks? I think i m one of the middle-aged ones around here (36). I would love to know who is the oldest Dlister...
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54 here and look 40! Married 30!
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 12:18am.
in other words... take note, people!... SDR will be able to bite a full year after she's gone!... sounds like some wicked zombie business goin' on!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
haha, Spotty, i gotta wear one every night.... I gnaw through those dentek ones in a week...
I'm 33. Body feels like 71 though. The dentist said I have the teeth of a 70 year old.
*makes note to wear mouf guard*
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:56pm.
How old are you folks?
--------------------------------
i'm eleventeen! but i feel like a hundred fifty seven year old trapped in a thirty five year old's shell... it's a real burden, and becoming pretty complicated, math wise!... heehee!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Whamo, I think BSF thought your advice was good. ITA. It was honest! ;)
Night EvilS!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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haha whamo! Nothing wrong with blunt and honest! It was definitely a compliment :)
Night all, I am tired thanks to my nausea medicine.
Have a good one everybody!
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:58pm.
________________________________
I hope I wasn't being too blunt BSF, I certainly didn't mean be or to be judgmental as I mentioned to Evil, I really can empathize with you:) I just mean to say while it's difficult not to, just be careful about making an emotional decision. It just at times like this one needs to be practical as much as anything. :)
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:54pm.
I showed FedEx Miley Cyrus' new cut and said he could rock that and he told me to fuck off. He is NOT seeing the humor.
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cuppy, you are killing me with this. His hair must be his weak spot.....everyone has one. You found it.......boom goes the dynamite .
How old are you folks? I think i m one of the middle-aged ones around here (36). I would love to know who is the oldest Dlister...
I showed FedEx Miley Cyrus' new cut and said he could rock that and he told me to fuck off. He is NOT seeing the humor.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:10pm.
Damn whamo, you are blunt. *swoon* Are you married? I can't remember...
_________________________________________
Was that blunt? Lol I certainly didn't mean to be rude or judgmental, just honest IMO. No I'm not married, I have been around the block though lol. Been close but just knew in my heart of hearts it wasn't right. One in particular was a great woman and I still talk to her and having said that I really do understand BSF situation, I know what temptation is all about lol :)
E. cuppy, it is so freaking funny that you compared it to ANTM makeover meltdown. Those girls were always so pathetic with their tears. Having said that I do miss me some Nigel(before he took himself too seriously). Take the stick out of your ass Nigel....better advice was never given on ANTM.
Tell FedEx that it's only hair...it grows back. ;-)
SDR, lololol @ "Granny Clampett" now that's a hello wave!
EC, watch out when someone says I got shears and can cut hair well!!!! But I bet he'd chop it off if he thought you liked him with a military-style cut... Mmmm mmmm
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:17pm.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:51pm.
Oh, snapple! Sounds like fun, but I can say that as an observer, lol. So this just happened and he's talking about you leaving your husband and moving in with him? Wow, he moves quick. Generally things that get really serious really quickly aren't very healthy.
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It's not a move-in situation at all. It's an I dunno what, but it's not a move-in thing. I don't think in his mind he's moving quickly. Honestly, he's been reeling me in for months now. I have seen him in action at work and he's pretty calculating--I don't mean that in a bad way. But he can assess a situation, table it, come back to it later and go for the kill. Not sure if this is how he approaches life in general. Seems like it may be...
Well, time to call it a night again. I love you bitches for talking me through my epic mess. I so appreciate all the feedback. Good night all!
Evil, obviously that old bat who called didn't have her glasses on to see his hotness! Looks like a drug dealer... LOL She has to be elderly.
UBF torties are sassy! I love them!
Spotted Dog - yep. I grew up around Himalayan Persians, Siamese and Abyssinian Somali's it's the same thing with them. Tortieshells, tortie points, blue cream points, blue cream hybrids etc all female.
EC, that sucks for FedEx Man! I'm a baldie lover myself, but a man who can rock a set of nice locks is hot! Boo for the uptight customer - who gives a shit as long as someone is polite, courteous, and clean?
I'm glad to hear things are going well with you and FedEx. ;-)
She is doing pretty good with our other kitty. And Mr. UBF is paying more attention to THIS pussy than to mine....why i am on BC pills, nobody knows at this point...
Hiya Within!
*waves like Granny Clampett*
Cuppy! I have clippers with numbered guards. Bring FedEx on over. Mr. Spot is cheap and I cut his hair. First time I did it he looked mangy but over the last 6-7 years I've gotten good.
Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:07pm.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:51pm.
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ITA Whamo at only seeing the good side at the beginning. It would be interesting if BSF could find out why he divorced before. If it's like Jack, then that's different, but if VP was a two-timey husband, OH STAY AWAY GIRL!!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:14pm.
She is cool UBF! Did you know all tortie's are female? Sort of like Calico's.
===================
Really? Seriously?
*gullible face*
You learn something new every day!
http://www.theparaverse.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/TheMoreYouKn...
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:51pm.
Oh, snapple! Sounds like fun, but I can say that as an observer, lol. So this just happened and he's talking about you leaving your husband and moving in with him? Wow, he moves quick. Generally things that get really serious really quickly aren't very healthy. This guy on my fb list, sweet guy, but he complained openly for a few months about how lonely he was and his mishaps trying to date. He said one day he got stood up, two days later his status changed to "in a relationship" (not with the girl who stood him up). In less than a week he was "Out for dinner with my girl ______ for wings and beer. My girl knows what I like. Love you, baby :)" and with the matching tattoos. Ugh, not gonna be fun watching it implode. Okay that's not at all like your sitch, but I think it's funny that in less than two weeks he went from single and looking, down on his luck to practically married. Good luck, girl.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 11:13pm.
--
SDR, not having any kitties, I always find pussay talk most fascinating! OLOLOLOLOL
*waves hello*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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She is cool UBF! Did you know all tortie's are female? Sort of like Calico's.
BSF, good you're thinking twice before making any big changes. It sounds like he takes you for granted. But sometimes, you can turn that around by not being available 100% of the time. I wonder if that would send him a message that he needs to put in the effort again or he could lose you. You've been honest and have communicated how you feel right? Because there is always the chance that he is muddling along and still has no idea you feel like this. You have to let him know that you are not feeling valued and this is a serious problem in your relationship.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Evenin' all.
FedEx is having an America's Next Top Model moment as he is upset with his boss telling him he needs to cut his hair after a "customer" said he should be delivering drugs instead of important documents. LOLOLOLOLOL. He doesn't want the makeover!
I guess his bosses have not really stuck to the books regarding hair, and FedEx has super nice hair, not long, but long enough for a mini ponytail, which he wears to work, nicely combed back. Not greasy or ratty like Brad Pitt's hair or anything like that. Since he has been there for ages and does a good job, they kinda looked the other way on his hair, BUT I guess some up tight woman called the office he works out of and said he looked like a drug dealer with that ponytail and that it was very "unprofessional". FFS, he drives a fucking truck with letters in it, what do you want, a 3 piece suit and Jon Hamm's slicked back hair????
Poor guy, he is going to the "hairdresser" tomorrow for a cut, and he is pissed! He looks hot with his longish hair, and I think he is skeered to have shorter hair.
I told him he was like the model's on ANTM, who cry because Tyrant makes them get fucked up hair cuts! I told him he could always get extensions! LOL! He did NOT find the humor in that!
UBF - So Ms. Kitty is acclimating to the household? She's adorable. I guess Mr. UBF and Mrs. UBF are getting to look at pussy tonight. :-p
Damn whamo, you are blunt. *swoon* Are you married? I can't remember...
Yes, Evil, my new girl.She is too cool!!
Aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!
I cut DirecTv out of my life today. It felt awesome. Now I gotta go to sleep without my tv. I've slept with the tv on FOREVER. I can stream tons of shows but im trying to be responsible. I'm gonna die now. Y'all carry on without me.
*chants* It will improve my sleep. It will improve my sleep. It will improve my sleep...
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:51pm.
==========================================
That's another thing to consider, you have both your marriage AND your career to consider. Affairs are exciting dangerous and most of all make you feel alive like you perhaps haven't in a long time but keep in mind the decision you make will last a long long time! This is a huge something to consider based on only a few weeks of excitement. IMO you need more time to consider anything, the fact is you only know "work guy" and "one time guy" we all know we guys put our best foot forward for as long as we can but the real us will show through soon enough, you need to know THAT guy before you do anything.
UBF look at that adorable tortoiseshell kitteh cat!
EvilShoe, that's good. Doing well... for a Monday! lolol
I know the heads can be expensive. Wish they lasted longer. I notice it used to be 6 months, now they say 3 months and they should be replaced. I try to stretch them out as long as I can too. Don't like the compact ones as much but it's personal taste, I guess! :P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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What did i miss? The husband is looking at porn instead of sleeping with me, so here i am....
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:37pm.
BSF, Any chance you could repair things with your hub? And did you just get with this VP guy for the first time a couple of days ago? It sounds like a player move to me to give you his keys so quick. Ok, so he keeps his place free for you but what if he has the poon elsewhere? I'd be very leery. Is your husband unhappy too, or is that how you feel only? And do you want to be a kept piece of someone you don't really know? Sometimes what seems exciting could become mundane real quick if you actually have to spend real time together.
________________________________________________________
I've thought about that stuff too. Should I trust him until I don't? I dunno. My husband is always distracted or annoyed it seems. But then he wants to trot me out like a trained poodle when he has some business function or whatever. Then it's all my wife is so great. But back home, it's nothing. When we do have sex, it's the 10 minute special designed to get him and only him off. I don't feel like I've changed but he has. I may come off as a bitchy ball buster but it's because I'm desperate to be heard!
I'm not going to rush into or out of anything, though. Everything is just really complicated right now.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:40pm.
Oh dang, BSF, I missed a few chapters of the story. Haven't been able to keep up with the D much lately. Last I tuned in, you were afraid something was going to happen with the VP and trying to not sit near him at parties. Can a whore get caught up? I'm curious now, lol. *lives vicariously through BSF*
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LOL
Well yeah, I tried to keep it platonic and I've failed miserably as of last Saturday night. Some of us from work had to go on a weekend retreat to hug it out and get our teamwork on. So VP was there...we were in the woods...the food sucked...we ducked out to Taco Bell...we went back to my room...and shit went down...including VP...LOL Gotta keep my sense of humor.
I had a mini breakdown on the way back home. Pulled myself together so the hubby wouldn't be suspicious. Logged on to dlisted and poured my heart out.
That's pretty much it.
Hi within! I'm okay, you?
Eh, it's only online for Walmart. :( I'll probably just get it at Walgreens, it's $7 more. I need to order one soon, I keep taking the head off my bad one and putting it on my son's to use his then switching it back lol. He's not thrilled.
Any chance work will find out? The grapevine is fierce.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 08/13/2012 - 10:28pm.
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EvilShoe hi there!! How are you tonight?
I love my sonicare brush too. Won't go back to normal brushing. If Walmart has the best prices can't someone go in and get it for you? heheheh :)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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BSF - in my mind what happened to his marriage is his wife fucking cheated... a lot of times good guys that would do you no harm what-so-ever get treated like fucking shit... go with that... and listen to Eeebil. I'm out... goodnight hookers.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers