Kim K. Wants A Quickie Divorce So She Can Marry Kanye

August 13, 2012 / Posted by:

I’ll say it – nice ride.

If this bitch thinks that the right-minded people of the world are gonna stand for Kim Kardashian’s Fake Wedding Extravaganza 2 (“Now With The Right Shade Of Dick!”), she’s got another thing coming! The first time was so awful. Everywhere you turned, you saw a moustache in a wedding dress on every magazine cover and TV screen. It was a dark time when Kim Kardashian married that duh face with the bolts in his neck, and then dropped him as planned. Then she had the balls to act all shocked when people thought she was an even bigger cunt than they already thought for perpetuating her bridal lies. Well, get ready to see four handfuls of ass trying to stuff itself into a much-too-small gown down at David’s Bridal again. Bitch is looking to destroy the aisle once more.

Radar says that Kim Kardashian is trying to speed up her divorce from Kris Humphries, so she can marry her current boyfriend prop Kanye West. How the fuck you gonna fit those two egos in one setting? There isn’t enough atmosphere on this planet. Those two fools, Kim’s ass, Khloe’s The Howling body, AND JAY-Z AND BEYONCE? The amount of bullshit present will cause the damn earth to tip, our poles will reverse, and gravity will quit this bitch. That union will end the earth. Mark my words.

Kim is tired of waiting and thinks Frankenstein’s Monster is stalling so he can make her look like the greedy douche she is.


“There is going to be a scheduled status conference on Wednesday for Kim and Kris’ divorce. Kris has already been deposed, but Kim hasn’t been yet. Kim has told her lawyer that the case is dragging because Kris is determined to keep his name in the press and drag her name through the mud. Kim is ready to get engaged to Kanye, but doesn’t want to until her divorce is finalized,” a source close to the situation tells us.

Kim is so very sure that “Kanye is the man she is going to spend the rest of her life with, and she doesn’t want to wait.” *chortle* The real threat to “traditional marriage” also feels that her deposition in the divorce proceedings is a waste of time, and wants the whole thing over ASAP. Kris wants her to admit publicly that their wedding was a hoax. And I want someone to spray the E! building with enough ranch dressing that it will entice Khloe to devour it. And Seacrest better be in the toilet when it happens. This is all his fault.

More pics of K&K motoring in that little gallery. It’s always the shitty people who have the nicest cars.

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