Lohan’s Sea Jasper Dealer Might Not Have To Go On The Dole After All

August 13, 2012 / Posted by:

It’s sort of infuriating and depressing at the same time that an insane fuckup like Lindsay Lohan is going to make 2 million dollars this year. If any of us were out maniacally rear-ending every vehicle we could and trying to commute to work in an ambulance, we would probably be sans employment. Let alone freedom. But no, Lohan lives with her head firmly lodged in her own ass (sorry, it’s DListed – “culo”) and tells the law to eat her snatch on a continual basis and still gets paid.

This is the reason that kid abandoned society and traveled through the country and finally starved beside a bus in the wilderness. That was still a better alternative than trying to make it in a world where pinheads like Lohan are successful.

TMZ added up all the money she’s going to make from various projects this year, and yep – she’s a millionaire. Witness:

Playboy (December issue but she was paid in 2012) $1 Million

— “Liz and Dick” Lifetime movie — $300,000

— “The Canyons” — $6,480 (scale)

— “Scary Movie” (Lindsay is about to sign on) — $200,000

That isn’t counting all of her alleged endorsement deals. Wear our jeans and you too can be a pathologically lie-telling cokehead who can’t drive.

Take heart in the fact that she probably owes her dealer a huge sum for all the yay he gave her on IOU, and her insurance deductibles must be through the damn roof with the way she operates motor vehicles. Headless people drive better.

Dina Lohan should really open up some sort of school wherein she teaches asshole children that they can be assholes and still get paid. #getmoneydespitebeingadickheadbitch

Check out more pics of Lohan on the set of The Canyons in the gallery below.

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