Judge Won’t Let Pregnant Dude Get Divorced Because He Doesn’t See Him As A Man

August 12, 2012 / Posted by:

What do you expect from a state that drove the “Excuse My Beauty” transflower to go and hook in Albuquerque? “The Pregnant Dude” (Thomas Beatie) has run into a slight hitch in his Arizona divorce proceedings from his laptop-drowning wife. The judge won’t recognize him as a man and because same-sex marriages aren’t legal in Arizona, won’t hear their case. Really? You had to be THAT guy, Your Dishonor?

The Daily Mail (hey, they’re legit, they have a URL and everything) reports that the judge is ruling that because they both have the same sex organs, their marriage wasn’t valid in the first place. This is despite Beatie having been awarded custody of their three children in May. AND he has a SWEET moustache. Fuck’s wrong with you, Judge Not-Judy?

Beatie became a curiosity to some and a “who’s the woman, who’s the man, who cares, bitch!”” hero to others when he went public with his pregnancy four years ago. Some months back, footage of Mrs. Pregnant Dude acting like Lindsay Lohan when someone announces it’s a dry wedding made it online. Bitch was scaring the kids, beating on Pregnant Dude with their laptop, and then chucking it in the pool! That’s deep (both the pool and the course of action). Fuck, throw the couch, microwave, coffee table, bedspread, dildos, and the dog (he can swim)in the pool. Fine by me. You leave the TV and laptop alone, though. If I can’t watch my stories and have instantaneous access to porn, we are over like Madonna.

She reportedly punched him in the crotch, too. He says that he has a clit that’s grown to the size of a small penis down there now due to the hormones. Do we have any female bodybuilders out there that read DListed? Does being hit in the swole clitty hurt as much as being hit in the balls? Just curious.

Anyway, that’s why he got custody. Nicely played, transman. Judge Gender Fascist says that “he cannot find any legal authority that defines a man as someone who is able to give birth.” Thomas filed documents to show that his passport and his Hawaii birth certificate state that he’s a dude in response.

Is anyone else confused about what the judge expects them to do? They were legally married as a man and a woman. You can just say it never happened if you have a gavel? How do they figure out all of their legal stuff if their marriage is suddenly imaginary? Does Detective LaToya investigate for family law?

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