Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 12, 2012 / Posted by:

You might be hung all the way over this Sunday and so your heavy, post-drunken head is already bowing to keep the room from spinning the voms out of your throat. If you’re not doing the hungover head bow, then bow your head anyway. Because this hero bitch right here, Amanda the German Shepherd mix, is the greatest mother on earth and deserves everyone’s respect!

Radar says that when the house in Rosa de Temuco, Chile that Amanda and her litter of new puppies were staying at caught on fire due to a car bomb going off nearby, the situation looked bleak and it seemed like heaven would be getting a visit from a whole lot of puppies. But Amanda wasn’t about to let that happen. If Amanda was White Oprah, she’d save her stash of Internet-bought Adderall first, then she’d save the bottle of Stoli she cuddles with every night and if she had some time, she’d save her main money maker Lindsay Lohan. But Amanda is not White Oprah. Amanda immediately tried to save all of her puppies.

Firefighters say that they all grew ovaries and all of their newly grown ovaries burst when they watched Amanda run out of the burning house with a puppy in her mouth. Amanda dropped her puppy into the open storage bin on the side of the firetruck and then ran back into the house to get the next puppy. Amanda did this until all of her puppies were out of the house. It’s true that like me, dogs get the sudden urge to lick their assholes about every 5 minutes, but Amanda fought that urge to save her own.

Sadly, one of Amanda’s puppies was severely burned and is now up in heaven, taking a break from nibbling on the clouds of bacon with the other angel dogs to call its mom a bad bitch. Amanda and her puppy babies were taken to a vet and are now up for adoption. Amanda shouldn’t be up for adoption! Amanda should be given every badge of courage and she should be given the job of director of life-saving in Chile. Amanda knows how to do it.

If you’re a cat bitch, I just to ask you this: Would your cat ever do this? (“No, but my cat would stop the fire with its icy cold cunt glare.” – you “Good point.” – me)

And will somebody please dust in here? I’ve got something in my eye and I don’t like feeling things!

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