You’re probably reading these words while pulling your panties up and wiping your musky down low parts with the bottom of your shirt. Because as soon as the head picture for this post came up, you immediately rubbed your genitals on your computer monitor until you almost got electrocuted. The word “fuck” written with a Sharpie on Marilyn Manson’s mouth compelled you to do so. You actually shouldn’t be reading this right now, because you should be down at the free clinic (FYI: They open at 10am on the weekends) getting treated for ink poisoning and a new kind of gonorrhea that is only transmitted through pixels.
Marilyn Manson, who looks like he just ate the dreams of a thousand obese children, shuffled through LAX yesterday with his piece Lindsay Usich and he threatened all the paps with a good time by scribbling the words “fuck you” on his mound of flour-dusted pie dough face. Lindsay Lohan is so going to sue his powdery ass for copyright infringement. In case you’re wondering, the words “fuck you” written in marker on a face translates into “look at me looook at me oh god look at me fuck me with your attention please just loooook at me” in real talk.
And on that note, I’m taking another quick trip this summer and might not be around as much for the next few days. While I’m off suckling on a 12 oz. Corona on top of a hotel room bedspread as I suction my brain to non-stop Olympic coverage, my partners in blog foolery, J. Harvey and Sweetas (THE RETURN OF SWEETAS!!!) will be here planting seeds of fuckery. I’ll be back full-time on Tuesday if I don’t get arrested at JFK’s TSA checkpoint for committing acts of buffoonery by getting make-up ideas from Marilyn Manson and scribbling the words “fuck you” on my face (it’s tempting). They have WiFi at Gitmo, right?