Richard Simmons Serving You Dementia-Stricken Drag Queen As Poison Ivy

August 11, 2012 / Posted by:

I LURVE this crazy old lady. Richard Simmons looks like the time Nana got cast as sultry villainess Poison Ivy in the home’s production of Batman & Robin. Mother Nature and Uma Thurman can punch out early, because Richard Simmons’ Poison Ivy poses are burning Beverly Hills to the GROUND. He even accessorized with butterflies like a true woodland diva does it.

Auntie Richie blends so well into those bushes with his costume camoflauge magic. Imagine you’re going down to the shrubs to get a blowie (old gays still do this – we call them cock zombies), and THAT pops out at you with a “HEELLLOOOO BATMAN!” and offering to pull down his tights? Scared straight!

And he has so many faces and emotions. He’s giving you “Am I at the right bus stop?” “Ooh, is that the Gallagher’s new poolboy?” “Thinking about the nighttime.” and “A locked ward don’t mean SHIT to POISON IVY.” Never change, Richard.

Check out more pics of the utterly flawless Richard Simmons and his green finery.

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