Slap Me If You’ve Heard This Before, Brangie Is Getting Married This Weekend

August 10, 2012 / Posted by:

Lainey at Lainey Gossip said yesterday that some of the French tabloids were saying that there’s some party planning activity shit going down at Brad Pitt and Angie Jo’s child army compound in France and they believe that on either August 11th or August 12th, Jesus will fall from the heavens to catch Angie’s black garter as she kicks it off her fame whoring leg during her wedding  reception. And now The Sun is co-signing the French tabloids’ claims by saying that Brad Pitt flew in a few days ago and that Angie’s private jeweler is there right now.

Brad is apparently throwing his parents, Jane and Bill Pitt, a party to celebrate the 50th anniversary of their God-approving heterosexual marriage, but some say that he and Angie are going to hijack that shit and make it ALL ABOUT THEM by getting married. One of The Sun’s source says that right now, the party’s guest list is really small and they speculate that Brad invited George Clooney. The source went on to say this mess of words:

“George and Brad are best pals, there’s no way he’d miss it. He’s at his house in Italy, but could fly to Marseille in an hour. There’s a real buzz around the estate.”

The source needs to educate themselves, because there’s always a “buzz” around that estate since Brad and Angie are always buzzing it from being drunk and stoned all the time. You know, if Brad and Angie officially lie to the gays and lezzies by getting married on Saturday or Sunday night, we’ll only know for sure when the clouds open up, the sky goes bright and the sun comes out so that God can clearly see the look on their faces when he slaps the shit out of both of them for interrupting the Olympics.

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