“Move That Nobody, I’m Lindsay Lohan!”

August 10, 2012 / Posted by:

If you’re thinking that today is going to be different and it’s finally the day when there’s a story about how Lindsay Lohan is behaving like a mature and reasonable adult, you’re wrong! Bitch is still putting the lesion in delusion. You’ll know when Lindsay Lohan isn’t out there acting like deluded trash, because you’ll open your window and see John Travolta fucking a vagina on a flying pig.

UsWeekly says that at a club called Bootsy Bellows on Tuesday night, Francesca Eastwood, Clint Eastwood’s reality trick daughter and the fame whore at the center of that burning Birkin bag controversy, was celebrating her birthday in a private area with some friends including her photographer boyfriend Tyler Shields. Tyler has regularly shot cracked out pictures of LiLo, so I thought they were friends, but I guess not. Because that night, LiLo caused a scene, as usual, when she opened her mouth and shat out balls of delusion all over Francesca Eastwood’s lap for reasons unknown. A source put it like this:

“Francesca was celebrating her birthday with around a dozen friends in a private area when Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave. She was yelling ‘I’m a star, she’s a nobody, get her out of here!’ One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing. She is acting like some bad ’80s film star, and it is hard to watch because she needs help. Lindsay’s friend was driving and they sped out and almost hit one of the valet guys.”

I don’t go to the dog park that often, because my dog doesn’t really get into socializing with other dogs and I don’t really get into socializing with complete strangers, so it doesn’t work out for either of us. But a long time ago, I took my dog to the park and after about 5 minutes there, some dude came in with his mutt. As soon as the dude and his mutt arrived, the lady sitting on the bench next to me softly said to me, “I’m leaving and you should leave too.” I go, “Why?” She goes, “You see that dog right there? That dog pees on other dogs all the time.” I ask, “What do you mean?” She answers, “That dog lifts his leg and pees on other dog’s butts! He’ll do it to yours.” Maybe my dog’s into that sort of thing, but I didn’t want to take any of chances. I grabbed him and got out there. I wasn’t about to sign my dog up for a golden shower date with the R. Kelly of dogs.

What I’m trying to say is that since Lindsay Lohan is untrained trash, people should just pick up and get out of there when she stumbles into a room. Because if you don’t, she’ll piss on your butt, literally and figuratively.

Here’s LiLo’s new rival and her new rival’s Terry Richardson wannabe boyfriend leaving Chateau Marmont a few nights ago.

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