That “sashay away” is directed toward me for committing an act against beauty and glamour by getting subtle shades of RuPaul vibes from the cover of Vogue’s September issue with Lady CaCa all over it. I know, as punishment, I need to shuffle into the Interior Illusions lounge, untuck whatever shame I have left and let the queens take turns throwing Popov cocktails (don’t waste Absolut on me) into my face. Somebody should yank Anna Wintour’s bangs for this too, because if she wanted to serve up some dandelion RuPaul realness on the cover of Vogue, she should’ve served up the real thing instead of this. Because when I really open my eyes, CaCa looks more like an electrocuted Lorax tree or like a troll doll dildo that’s been used one too many times. (Side note: Please tell me troll doll dildos exist in this life.)
Here’s another picture of CaCa in Vogue and they broke all their copies of Photoshop while touching up that naked picture of her. I see they overused the “Jennifer Grey” tool on that bitch’s nose.