Open Post: Hosted By The Forever Glamorous Sharon Stone

August 9, 2012 / Posted by:

I hear you saying to yourself, “Michael, are you sure this isn’t really the komodo dragon who almost bit off Sharon Stone’s ex-husband’s foot?”

No, you bitch, of course it’s not. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if Sharon Stone’s tongue jumped out of her mouth when a fly flew near her snatched face.

This is Sharon Stone trying to move the one movable muscle in her face while shooting scenes with Andy Garcia in Bucharest, Romania for the movie What About Love. It looks more like Sharon is shooting scenes for MEOW: The Jocelyn Wildenstein Story. Looking like Cheetara as Catherine Deneuve and shit. Bitch’s face is pulled so tight that I’m surprised she can open her mouth wide enough to stick that cigarette in there. She probably smokes it through her nostril. I’m not one to talk, because when I had my wisdom teeth pulled out, they told me to not smoke or suck for three days. (“But Michael, I remember when you had your wisdom teeth pulled and I read a few Dlisted posts the day after and you still sucked.” – you being a bitch again) I was so hard up for just one toke of the good shit that I slapped the bottom of a rock when I shoved a vaporizer straw in my nostril and inhaled. What a tragic image.

And if you’re going to get your face pulled into another dimension, do it the way Sharon Stone did it. Tell your plastic surgeon to tuck your face until your only expression is: bitchy Siamese cat.

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