Conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel have been on Oprah, were in Life magazine, were the stars of a totally Photoshopped picture one of them giving a beej while the other one sort of hung out, and now they’re FINALLY getting their time under the reality show spotlight thanks to you know who: TLC. The hole that burned into my heart when Lori & George stepped out of the spotlight has now been filled with Abby & Brittany.
TLC’s cameras follow the 22-year-old two-for-one twins as they begin their post-college life and take a trip to Europe. Yes, Abby and Brittany look happier than all of us and their story is pretty inspirational, but since we’re mature adults who constantly ask tactful questions, we’re all wondering the same thing: “How many coochies do they have? Who gets to have the orgasm? If one swallows, will the other one spit it back up?” Well, Wiki answered some of my questions.
Each twin has control of one side of their body and sense of touch is restricted to her side of the body. Wiki gets extra detailed by listing how many organs Abby & Brittany have:
2 spines merging at the coccyx and joined at the thorax by sections of ribs. Surgery was employed to correct scoliosis.
2 completely separate spinal cords
2 arms (originally 3, but rudimentary central arm was surgically removed, leaving central shoulder blade in place)
1 broad ribcage with 2 highly fused sternums and traces of bridging ribs. Surgery was employed to expand the pleural cavities.
2 hearts in a shared circulatory system (nutrition, respiration, medicine taken by either affects both)
4 lungs with the medial lungs moderately fused, not involving Brittany’s upper right lobe; three pleural cavities
1 diaphragm with well-coordinated involuntary breathing, slight central defect
1 liver, enlarged and elongated right lobe
Y-shaped small intestine, which experiences a slightly spastic double peristalsis at the juncture
1 large intestine with one colon
3 kidneys: 2 left, 1 right
1 set of reproductive organs
2 separate half-sacrums, which converge distally
1 slightly broad pelvis
And now TLC is the only channel I need in my life thanks to Honey Boo Boo Chile and now Abby & Brittany. And if you’re a pair of pregnant redneck conjoined teen twins who are former child beauty queens and own a cake shop that caters only to little Amish people, call TLC, because your dream of being on The Soup every week can come true!