Randy Travis Caught Drunk And With His Chonies Off
Last we left drunken mess Randy Travis, he was arrested for living out a sad country song by drowning his sorrows with cups of the sweet nectar while parked in front of a baptist church near his house in Texas. Not much has changed since then. Randy is still spreading the foolery, is still out being a public drunk and is still getting arrested for his dumb bitch antics, but this time he's taken shit to a whole new level by taking off his panties for the cops.
While some of us were in dreamland, leaping across clouds made of Randy Travis' ex-wife's hair, his liquored up ass was on the side of a Texas road, yelling at the cops with his drunk peen hanging out. TMZ says that shortly after Randy crashed his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am into several construction zone barricades, the cops showed up and found him butt lips naked. Since Randy always has to give TMZ something to write about, he refused to take a breathalyzer. I will really be disappointed with Randy if he didn't grab each one of his butt cheeks, spread 'em wide and tell the cop to shove the breathalyzer up in there. You really haven't lived until you've blown a breathalyzer with your butt hole.
Randy was arrested immediately and thrown into the backseat of the trooper's car. As Randy's ass left sweat stains on the trooper's backseat, he threatened to shoot at all the officers who arrested him. It's unknown if Randy threatened to shoot them with a gun or shoot them with the possibly loaded weapon hanging off of his crotch. The cops weren't going to take any chances and were not about to get hit with a whiskey-infused jizz bullet shooting out of Randy's peen, so when they got to the station they covered him up with a t-shirt and some paper pants. Randy then threw Blue Steel eyes at the mug shot camera to try to distract us from all the face scratches and bruises he got in the crash. Randy was charged with DWI and for threatening an officer.
Okay, so Randy was as nekkid as nekkid can and threatened to shoot up all those cops, and he all he got was a pair of paper pants and a few charges? If that you or me, the cops would've tased us straight in the culo until our genitals started coughing up black smoke. But yet Randy gets paper pants. I want paper pants!
I guess driving like a mess while fully clothed is totally yesterday. The new thing is driving like a mess while your nipples are kissing air. Let's hope that Lindsay Lohan doesn't start following this new trend.
• 
Aww, he was probably just on his way to surprise his fiancee, ROFL
Shoulda hung with Brigitte.
Accident or not, that shiner sure looks like came from the arrest scuffle.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:15pm.
On topic: I've always thought ole Rando was a fudge packing peter pumper... I mean, seriously???
http://s3.amazonaws.com/sites.wpengine/scelebs/wp-content/old_pictures/R...
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Hey Jake I think him and Lyle Lovett (sp) have the same parents.
What's up with the long craggy head?
OF COURSE it was a fucking Trans-Am! XD
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
GG I missed the one last night (and I was awake and at home), but definitely felt this one! Lol
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:13pm.
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:10pm.
Thanks Whamo, same here. Not much into comics,
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Nor I but those two were the bestest buddies in the whole wide world and that's why they were so cool together.
It was just great heartfelt humour:)
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you do know that Hobbes was a figment of Calvin's imagination, right?
to rest, sorry to be off topic.
Have one on me! I can't drink anymore. :(
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:15pm.
There have always been rumors he was gay. Maybe that is hwy he is drunk all the time - not easy being a gay man in the country singing world
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
I never got the ghey vibe from this guy...I dont see it.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:11pm.
I love Randy Travis. This makes me sad :(
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I'm not much into country but he's one guy's who's music I really like.
I like that tune Three Wooden Crosses. I don't know if it's his original but he sings it well.
I've always liked his voice. You live down that way have you and your peeps mumbled that he might be gay?
When the ground rolls up and down its ok. its those side to side hits that are scary. Feels like a giant has slaped the side of your house. All is well - nothing broken. But dogs are still acting spooked.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:09pm.
Fuck that!! I'll take tornadoes over that shit any day!!
On topic: I've always thought ole Rando was a fudge packing peter pumper... I mean, seriously???
http://s3.amazonaws.com/sites.wpengine/scelebs/wp-content/old_pictures/R...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
I thought it was a fake picture at first.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
oh ok GG, then you should be used to them by now! LOL ;p glad you're ok
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:10pm.
Thanks Whamo, same here. Not much into comics,
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Nor I but those two were the bestest buddies in the whole wide world and that's why they were so cool together.
It was just great heartfelt humour:)
I always get this guy mixed up with Chris "take a seat" Hansen.
All this, and he STILL looks better than Pete Doherty.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
snowpiece, Im in on the LA/OC boarder and last nights was in Yorba Linda about 8 miles from me. News is saying it was 4.5.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
I love Randy Travis. This makes me sad :(
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Damn, Lurch here looks PISSED! Of course he was driving a 1998 Pontiac Trans Am. I agree with the previous poster who thinks he's deep in the closet. Seems like his now ex was a few decades older than him. Totally seemed like a bearding marriage of convenience.
What a knuckle dragger. Are we sure he doesn't live in a cave?
does anyone remember the older couple on The Amazing Race, whose racing secret was their paper disposable undercrackers?
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
No pants on?
Was he getting a tranny blow job before he crashed his redneck mobile?
Submitted by Kizzy on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:07pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:05pm.
PMSL GoGreen, baby!!!
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You should see my new cardboard shoes, I'm stylin!
Thanks Whamo, same here. Not much into comics, but Calvin & Hobbes is literary and imaginary genius!
Submitted by winniwins on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:07pm.
Lol! You're talking to the wrong person :) I looooooooove 77-81 Trans Am
DD, I'm ok just the dogs and sons freaked out. We had a good roller last night around midnight and lasted about 28 seconds. Its hot and dry so its the time for them. I gotta take the breakables off the shelves...
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Hey MK, I can get you fabric better than paper pants! Choose:
content/uploads/2010/08/FABRIC-NAKED-FIREMEN.jpg
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3645/3392374434_15d7925caf_z.jpg
http://www.cottonnoveltyfabrics.com/fabric/bl_constructionworker1_pinup....
http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/13254/46_2008/d19e50f78d3ae46c_...
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:05pm.
Where do I get me some of them nifty paper pants!
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Go tearing thru Texas roads blind drunk nekkid in a 98 Trans Am and you'll soon have yourself a pair Whammy ;)
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:03pm.
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Hey CR I like your avie, I use to LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. I still have all the books kicking around.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:56pm.
where'd he get the black eye?
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The cops, because he was actin' a fool!
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:05pm.
PMSL GoGreen, baby!!!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
GG WHERE!??!
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."
Haaaaa...when I was very little pa got tossed into the drunk tank. Ma was so mortified she left his ass in there!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@ GG
Hope you are OK!!!
@ PHM - I wasn't aware that Trans-Am had a good year.;)
even the hot slut was probably hammered. They'd make quite a pair, if you think about it.
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:03pm.
NOOOO. Be cheerful and optimistic: it's "I'm sure I'll find my career in the bottom of this bottle" Day!
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
what is so dang important that you have to jump behind the wheel drunk and nekkid.. afraid to miss last call?
fuck try dial a bottle next time Jethro.
Where do I get me some of them nifty paper pants!
"No No..the recycled ones on the back shelf.., are you sure these are 70% post consumer paper, great thank you.
*Walks out of store (rustling) looks up a little worried at the rain clouds*
"Randy crashed his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am" Say what? Randy! You're a country legend and you're driving a 1998 Trans Am? And what about his clothes? Did anyone find them? Were they in the car? Did he leave home nekkid? What happened?!?!?
On another note, this foolery will not help his lawsuit with his ex wife/ ex manager. He says she's ruined his career by talking bad about him, she says he ruined his career on his own. I this I kinda gotta agree with her at this point.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
Submitted by DiamondDogs: "...Personally, I always felt he was deep in the closet and refused to come out because country music fans aren't always a fan of the gheys. See also: Kenny Chesney"
Mmmyep. I agree. Shame, because he always struck me as a nice person.
what is this? Drunken D-listed Day (DDD)? haha, I just laugh reading the posts and comments. :)
EARTHQUAKE!!!!! WE JUST HAD AN EARFQUAKE!!!!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Shame on you Randy...that's not even a good year for the Trans Am!
What in the ham sandwich? I had no idea Randy was a crazy assed drunk. I like him, though. He is one of the few country singers I can tolerate. Always seemed to me he was a bit sad.
Paper pants. Bwha.
@winiwins - OH yeah, and I nearly forgot! #4 - the fact he was driving a 1998 Trans Am!
You cant take the white trash out of a good ol boy...
My Dad was a fan of his music back when he was "popular" Personally, I always felt he was deep in the closet and refused to come out because country music fans aren't always a fan of the gheys. See also: Kenny Chesney
Looks like some cop punched his drunk ass!! YEEEEEHAWWWWWW!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
OK, disclaimer: yes this is a sad story, could have killed someone, fall from grace, alkie, etc. etc.
That said, there are several elements that make this one so tabloid fodder ready:
1) NAKED and drunk!
2) "I fought the law and the law won" mugshot
3) Paper pants
Imagine the lucky bastard who was charged with putting paper pants on this belligerent drunk SOB? "Yeah, sorry Floyd, you got the short straw, y'all are going to have to put these here paper pants on Randy Travis' drunk ass." Whoa.
Christ that is a whole lotta ugly.
"1998 Pontiac Trans - Am" is that the hood chicken model?