Randy Travis Caught Drunk And With His Chonies Off
Last we left drunken mess Randy Travis, he was arrested for living out a sad country song by drowning his sorrows with cups of the sweet nectar while parked in front of a baptist church near his house in Texas. Not much has changed since then. Randy is still spreading the foolery, is still out being a public drunk and is still getting arrested for his dumb bitch antics, but this time he's taken shit to a whole new level by taking off his panties for the cops.
While some of us were in dreamland, leaping across clouds made of Randy Travis' ex-wife's hair, his liquored up ass was on the side of a Texas road, yelling at the cops with his drunk peen hanging out. TMZ says that shortly after Randy crashed his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am into several construction zone barricades, the cops showed up and found him butt lips naked. Since Randy always has to give TMZ something to write about, he refused to take a breathalyzer. I will really be disappointed with Randy if he didn't grab each one of his butt cheeks, spread 'em wide and tell the cop to shove the breathalyzer up in there. You really haven't lived until you've blown a breathalyzer with your butt hole.
Randy was arrested immediately and thrown into the backseat of the trooper's car. As Randy's ass left sweat stains on the trooper's backseat, he threatened to shoot at all the officers who arrested him. It's unknown if Randy threatened to shoot them with a gun or shoot them with the possibly loaded weapon hanging off of his crotch. The cops weren't going to take any chances and were not about to get hit with a whiskey-infused jizz bullet shooting out of Randy's peen, so when they got to the station they covered him up with a t-shirt and some paper pants. Randy then threw Blue Steel eyes at the mug shot camera to try to distract us from all the face scratches and bruises he got in the crash. Randy was charged with DWI and for threatening an officer.
Okay, so Randy was as nekkid as nekkid can and threatened to shoot up all those cops, and he all he got was a pair of paper pants and a few charges? If that you or me, the cops would've tased us straight in the culo until our genitals started coughing up black smoke. But yet Randy gets paper pants. I want paper pants!
I guess driving like a mess while fully clothed is totally yesterday. The new thing is driving like a mess while your nipples are kissing air. Let's hope that Lindsay Lohan doesn't start following this new trend.
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This is a song I dedicate to a Very Special DLister!
Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
I sing it in a soft but lilting southern twang, while gazing north...and boiling a sweet, white bunny...
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Dark-sided!
PSL- You can't leave out Orlando after rubbing our noses in meeting him!!!!!! ;)
"Out of My Bones" is my favorite Randy Travis song.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
PSL, ikr?? I met him when I was working on this movie nobody ever heard of called Frank and Jesse. Rob Lowe was a narcissistic prick, Bill Paxton was a charming little womanizer and Randy was just a quiet, nice guy who liked to play his guitar. I hope he gets his demons under control.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:40pm.
This gives me the serious sads.
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Ya, I was saying to MJT I'm not a huge country guy by any means but Randy has that old throw back country voice and he seems like a nice enough sort of feller.
I do like some of the old timers like Merle Haggard, George Jones, you know real country not the tweekers they put in black cowboy hats and sing pop with a country twang.
@ paris, that's really interesting!
nice to so that so many are cool people.
not surprised at the two morons though. if you think of any more assholes let me know, it's always fun to know about those!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:16pm.
He has some great songs.
Forever and ever AMMMMMMMMMMMMEN
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I LOVE that song! One of my favorite country song of all time. Forever an ever amen, Everywhere by Tim McGraw... Fist City by Loretta Lynn-- the best.
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"Somewhere, Jennifer Love Hewitt is vagazzling the words "FUCK MY LIFE" onto her crotch while deep throating a Pillsbury cookie dough roll".--MK
IF, yes I live in L.A.....
Nice:
Fergie, Larry King, Ludacris, Tom Welling, Kyra Sedgwick, Demi Moore, Annette Bening, Rene Russo, Dorothy Lucey, Kim Coles, Lisa Rinna, Christian Bale, LL Cool J
ASSHOLES:
Ashton Kutcher, Ashley Judd
this is just off the top of my head
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
Randy Travis released Heroes & Friends in 1990 in which he sang duets with Loretta, Tammy, George Jones, Merle, Willy, Clint Eastwood, Conway, B.B. King, Dolly and even Roy Rogers.
It was incredible. I played it till it wore out.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
Randy for HSOTD.
Rough road addiction is.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
Randy for HSOTD.
Rough road addiction is.
If he is ghey, I hope he comes out. Life is too short to be unhappy.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:40pm.
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Bwahaha--- two out of three ain't bad. :)
@ parissucks...
you seem to have met a ton of celebs - do you live in LA?
Randy was nice...who else? Who was horrible? Enquiring minds!!
I don't think I've ever met anyone famous!
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Dark-sided!
Foxxy Brown & DD- I totally agree. I'd add Dolly, Patsy Cline, George Strait and all three Hank Williams' to the list, too.
ETA: PSL that story is really cute.
Whamo, hahahaha - I was with the 3 year old I was Nannying at the time....that was how I knew the song. I said to the little boy, "Hey! We know this guy!" and then I busted out the tune. RT laughed and shook our hands.
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
I loved his music growing up in the 80s and 90s.
I am a little sad to see him put on such a shit show.
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"Brows should not look like a condiment!" -MK
It's well past time for Randy to get OUT of the closet and IN to a rehab facility.
*sobs* Leave Randy Travis alone, LEAVE HIM ALONE I SAY... *sobbing uncontrollably*
@ Weezy an Foxxy
Co-sign on the country legends. Waylon and Johnny have a special place in my heart.
Those folks sure lived hard lives and sang about it with true heart and passion.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:38pm.
I met him years ago at a KFC. I sang the song he sang on Sesame Street to him. lol
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WHAT? LMFAO!
You got all sort of cool stories!
So what happened, did he try to pick up your husband?
Sweetas, that is when I met him too! he was totally nice.
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
This gives me the serious sads. I met Randy in the mid 90's and he was a totally sweet down-to-Earth guy. Okay, the naked part is pretty funny but the rest... :(
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:33pm.
Naked, violent AND paper pants??
BE STILL, MY HEART!!
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Kinda sounds like the last guy you dated IG :)
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:28pm
those old school country gals and guys are national treasures -- George, Cash, Merle, Willie and Waylon [my favorites 4ever], Charlie, Conway Loretta, Tammy et al. they lived the lives they sang about, and all of them can/could sing their asses off
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
And I wouldn't be surprised if the bruising and cuts were done by the cops!
I met him years ago at a KFC. I sang the song he sang on Sesame Street to him. lol
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
back in the day when I worked for the music industry, word was he had a thing for teenage boys
@Whamo - it certainly is impressive!
And I would bet money the cops punched him to shut him up and stop his drunken threats.
OK, enough time spent chortling over the misfortunes of others. Back to work... I leave yall with the lyrics to this Randy Travis gem, "You Didn't Have a Good Time":
Well I bet you don't remember
Knelling in that bathroom stall
Praying for salvation
And cursing alcohol
And you went right back to drinking
Like everything was fine
But let's be honest with each other
You didn't have a good time
back in the day when I worked for the music industry, word was he had a thing for teenage boys
Submitted by Im the Mary on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:30pm.
Lohan, Bynes & Aguilera are in a room somewhere seething with jealousy over all the attention
hmmm Crackie's been vewwy vewwy low key lately. No car crashes DUI's etc.. Oh wait, she's prolly getting ready for her big Lez & Dick red carpet premiere..
Naked, violent AND paper pants??
BE STILL, MY HEART!!
How sad. Randy was on top of the world not too long ago. One of the best talents in the business. His manager and wife ran his life like a well-oiled machine and everything he touched turned to gold.
Poor guy, incredibly self destructive.
Maybe hitting the bottom will get him to start the climb back out of the hole he has dug for himself.
I wish him the best and hope he can get healthy.
Trans Am?
*swoon*
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:19pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:16pm.
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Here's another one I've always liked, and say what will the boy can sing country I tell you what! :)
Like pushy just said, the man does have a voice like Velvet :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNKrBQCzQOI&feature=artistob&playnext=1&l...
Lohan, Bynes & Aguilera are in a room somewhere seething with jealousy over all the attention others' drunken fuckery is getting. Prepare to be one -upped Randy & Gitte!
Submitted by moonmaid on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:20pm.
puking or pissing on the cop would have earned him the 16.00. too bad he has to settle for the bronze
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
This whole story reminds me of this video of a drunken belligerent George Jones I saw on You Tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QShJFM7EoCw
There are several great moments, but I think the best is when Waylon Jennings says, "This is gonna sound real funny coming from me...." (he was a huge druggie).
Submitted by moonmaid on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:20pm.
Go tearing thru Texas roads blind drunk nekkid in a 98 Trans Am and you'll soon have yourself a pair Whammy ;)
@Ophelia's - Around here in central Texas, we just call that Saturday night.
but to have all four is kind of a 15.85 out of 16 performance. If it were girl's gymnastics, he'd be weeping tears of joy on the podium for nailing a routine so full of amazing combinations
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So Moonmaid you're saying he's like the Nadia Comaneci of impaired drivers? :)
Oh. My. LORD.
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And there you got me, that's how you got me, you taught me to be mean
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:22pm.
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awesome.
laters kids, I'm in and out!
Man, naked and drunk and looks like he might have had a problem with a cop's fist as well.
Sure like his voice though. Like velvet.
@Kizzy - for sure it did, yes ma'am.
And yes, at least Brigitte had the decency to just harm herself and roll around on some soft green grass wearing tennis shoes. No public threat is she! Except maybe for traumatizing some 5 year old out to fly a kite with daddy.
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:18pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:13pm.
Submitted by CodeRed on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:10pm.
you do know that Hobbes was a figment of Calvin's imagination, right?
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WHAT!!! NO WAY!! ......of course I do silly , that was pretty much the premise of the whole cartoon lol!
<" I want paper pants!">
Hospitals have paper jumpsuits that radiology techs and visitors have to wear over normal clothes when entering the OR and they are just dispensed like Kleenex from a big box. I could get you some MK. In yellow or white I think. Why, you'll just die! And of course clothing underneath isn't mandatory.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:15pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:09pm.
Fuck that!! I'll take tornadoes over that shit any day!!
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Co-sign. Hope you're ok, GG. Have a vodka nap, but be sure to keep your chonies on, hon. :D
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:15pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:09pm.
Fuck that!! I'll take tornadoes over that shit any day!!
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Chicken! : P
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Go tearing thru Texas roads blind drunk nekkid in a 98 Trans Am and you'll soon have yourself a pair Whammy ;)
@Ophelia's - Around here in central Texas, we just call that Saturday night.
Randy really went for the gold with this incident, I must say. It's bad enough to get busted for DWI, OR drive a 98 Trans Am blind drunk, OR be naked in public, OR threaten to kill a cop, but to have all four is kind of a 15.85 out of 16 performance. If it were girl's gymnastics, he'd be weeping tears of joy on the podium for nailing a routine so full of amazing combinations.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:18pm.
MissJaney, you are SO right, girlfriend... just ask Kenny Chesney... *z snaps and twirls*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:16pm.
He has some great songs.
Forever and ever AMMMMMMMMMMMMEN!
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
@GG
I've experienced a few earthquakes and I hate the feeling. There is nowhere to hide. The whole earth is shaking and its disconcerting. Being on the island we always worry about tsunamis too.
I'm glad you are okay. :-)