The Kardashians Debut Their Newest Adorable Money Maker
Here's that innocent moment in every Kardashian girl's life right before Pimp Mama Kris grabs her, dips her in a bucket of bronzer, stuffs her with butt implants and shoves her out onto the stroll to add to the Kardashian family fortune by winking at every camera pointing at her. Since UsWeekly waved the largest stack of cash at PMK, they won the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the first pictures of Kourtney Kardashian's second kid, 1-month-old Penelope Scotland Disick. Kourtney was holding that large stack of cash in her left hand (it was PMK's idea), but UsWeekly Photoshopped it out, because they felt it was overkill. Good move.
During the interview, Kourtney slow drooled out a bunch of words that you probably don't care about, but she did say that, "Nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with her." Kourtney spits out words slower than a snail with heat stroke spits out a long-winded queef, so my guess is that UsWeekly's reporter got inpatient, turned the recorder off and went to get lunch before she could finish that sentence. Kourtney obviously went on to say, "......and nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with the big stack of cash you just gave me for this interview."
And you need to slap yourself raw if you're wondering where Scott Sickdick is. Please, Scott Isadick's job here is done for now. Scott provided the baby batter needed to keep the Kardashian's fame whore legacy going, so now he can spend his days doing whatever he wants, which includes shopping at Barney's for silk ascots to wear around his dick. Or he's partaking in PMK's favorite afternoon time activity. Every afternoon, Scott and Lamar gather in PMK's backyard and help Bruce Jenner look for his nuts. It's called the Jenner Egg Hunt and nothing makes PMK cackle more than watching Bruce look behind the bushes for his huevos when she knows that she gave them to her maker Lucifer a long time ago. The dark orb in PMK's chest grows stronger every time poor Bruce jumps out of the bushes holding a shriveled olive and shouts, "I think I found one!"
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:13pm
You'd be a great Mom though. But I sure can understand and respect your decision not to.
I didn't have my kid until I was 30. I thought
something was wrong with me because I had no
desire to have a kid. None. Then all of a sudden, that clock must have hit or something because all I started seeimg were kids and wanting one.
I'll have to be honest---Dogs are way easier:)
I don't like anyone in this family, well maybe Bruce a little... But Kourtney is the most annoying, her voice is horrible, and all she does is whine. They all are obsessed with their looks, they can't keep their eyes off of mirrors or their hands out of their hair. They really don't deserve any attention or media coverage. I wish they would all disappear.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:58pm.
From the sad glimpse I was forced to see of their life one late night when I couldn't sleep, Kuntney refuses to marry him because of her parents divorcing. Plus that kid sleeps with them ALL THE TIME, so Scott sleeps on the couch because the bed is too crowded. I just find their relationship weird. I think she is the weird one though.
Sad that I know that much!
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin: "Mason = Danny Devito Jr.
ugly little midget."
BWAH HAHAHA! Totally.
MK, I think you've topped yourself on the brilliance-o-meter with that last paragraph. You can nap now, because I doubt it will get any better than that. :D
Submitted by Hekki "Put some clothes on that frigging monkey, you stunned cunt. "
LOL, Hekki, you made me snort! Bahahaha!
Mason looks well...ummm...if you can't say anything nice don't say it.
Put some clothes on that frigging monkey, you stunned cunt.
And why doesn't that douchelord Scott shit or get off the pot? Don't make babies with a woman you don't value enough to stay with. Technically I think people should marry if they're going to bring kids into it, but sticking around to raise them is sufficient for this trash heap.
MissAnnThrope, you gotta say "bless their heart" at the end of your shit talking to make it okay (it's the Southern way) FOR EXAMPLE:
Her oldest is fugly, fug, fug, and if he's like his aunties, as dumb as a box of hair. Bless his heart.
See? :D
.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:52pm.
I totally forgot about Fatguilera's homely kid. I don't think I even knew Sandler had a kid, much less was married. I hate him, so I try to not know anything about him. Stands to reason the kid would be hideous, because Sandler is a monster!
GG -- whatever, baby, keep them coming; you've been providing much-needed laughs in an otherwise sucky world.
EC -- Adam Sandler's kid is a beast, and Aguilera's kid didn't fare much better either.
She's ugly.
NO KID NIPPLES IN MAGAZINES!
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Please don't listen to SFRB.
~Jack McClellan
(P.S. This baby gets three hearts.)
Yeah uncomfortable, isn't it?
http://voices.yahoo.com/jack-mcclellan-pedophile-loose-santa-monica-4715...
"I really don't give a rats ASssssss!" - Goldie Hawn from First Wives Club...
Submitted by little_rascal on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:39am.
I don't give a fart about Lardassians, I wanna know about "Jen's private Angelina joke"!
BAWK! BAWK!
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No shit - we haven't had a Loonie producing post in a long time.
Mason = Danny Devito Jr.
ugly little midget.
I see Penelope is taking advantage of sleeping because she knows PMK will work her like a sweat shop kid.
Speaking of Bruce Jenner searching for his nuts, I wonder if during this Olympics if he expected NBC to be interested in his commentary or is he now 100% ridiculous? Please don't tell me they've had him on if he has been.
The Tard looks more interested in the camera then her children. Typical.
@Jack She tapes syringes in every bathroom stall in Hollywood and writes, "Angelina wuz here"
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:59am.
Fortunately for everyone, I have no intentions of procreating. You're welcome.
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Nor do I.
LOL@ "you're welcome".
@ MadgesVadge
Enjoy! There's plenty of Marcel to go round! <3
"Nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with her"
No? Not even having a son before her?
"Every afternoon, Scott and Lamar gather in PMK's backyard and help Bruce Jenner look for his nuts."
Oh SHIT! lololololol
Mason looks cute. There I said something nice.
Submitted by SandwichQueen on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:59am.
I was like you, but I learned to breathe over my shoulder, like when you're swimming. Since I don't know how to swim, it's much easier when actually done air.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Oh, and that B.S. on the bottom corner of the page, about Scott the dick not changing a single diaper...? Why is this stupid woman who is wealthy beyond belief, with this super douche? How does she think he qualifies as a super dad by any stretch of the imagination. Idiots. All of them. My child's father always helped change a diaper. That's the LEAST anyone could do.
Lucifer_Sam, your avi is perfection. I find myself unable to look away.
MK, "BABY BATTER??!!" Ick, Nast, but LOL.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Mason looks liks Cha-Ka from the old Land of the Lost TV show:
http://goremasternews.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/chaka-in-land-of-the-l...
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Geeze, y'all some rude bitches, it's "Unfortunate looking" until they're older!! ROFL
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Meh.
"Scott's stepped up as a dad (but still hasn't changed a single diaper!")
Are you freaking kidding me? My husband would be the ONLY one changing the damn diapers if I birthed a human out of my own body! Jeezus.
Fortunately for everyone, I have no intentions of procreating. You're welcome.
Congratulations,Kourtney. You now have 2 children by a golddigger babydaddy who partied and gambled in Vegas, and fucked around your whole 2nd pregnancy, photographed by tons of paparrazzi the whole time. Well done.
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"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.Kravitz on August 19, 2008
"We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard
♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:53am.
I would hit Scott...with a 2x4!
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I would hit him with my vagizziler!
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
I promise, I never say this, but I'm gonna say it... she makes ugly babies. There, I said it, I crossed the line...
I'm betting if those were my kids, I would think them beautiful, as she probably does.
I'm gonna go take cover from the shit that the dlisters will hurl my way (deservably so).
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:52am.
Gracias, mi amor.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
19 page bonus of the secrets of Hollywood moms??? So are they letting the nannies speak? Or naming the real babydaddies, tummy tucks, coke and adderall diets?? I can't imagine that taking up 19 pages..*confused*
@ TOPANGA
It's giving me life too! <3
Loopygorilla and Sans Fards will love it.
Meh on the older kid, but if I didn't know that baby's gender, I would guess it was a boy. Goddamn.
And what are the "secrets" of Hollywood moms? Employ two nannies per child so they never have to change a diaper or take the kids to school?
I would hit Scott...with a 2x4!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
@ jack:
it's a play on the Vanessa Paradis (Mrs Depp) song "Joe Le Taxi".
Will this family ever fade into obscurity? I would gladly pay a lump sum to never have to hear of them or see photos of them, ever again.
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"Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van" - Michael K.
I would still hit Scott (The S is Silent) Disick, and continue to remain ashamed of that fact.
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
Lucifer_Sam,
You're avi is giving me LIFE this morning! lol. __________________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:37am.
And I dont know why you all have meat-ads, i got something about bug-infestation with swollen looking people...
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UBF, I right now got here an ad for affordable cremation services, WTF??? MK, why? Hahahaha
On topic: I hate this whole fame-whoring family.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:38am.
I don't get it....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rly1ZZ076G8&feature=related ~ Kenny Powers
So that means PMK has to wait at least 13 years to whore out this child like her two own teens? Maybe she can get Terry Richardson to take her kindergarten pics.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:38am.
*buried under a pile of LOLs*
I don't give a fart about Lardassians, I wanna know about "Jen's private Angelina joke"!
BAWK! BAWK!
LOL @ BAWK BAWK!
Mason is cute on the show! That's just a bad pic. *likes the name Penelope*
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 08/08/2012 - 11:09am.
You know what other celeb kids are fug? (and I don't care if i am being hateful and mean to children) That Black Crowes and Hudson kid, Ryder, AND SJP's oldest kid.
If I were either of those kids parents, I would NEVER let them be photographed and I would home school them out of embarrassment! They would be wearing Burka's, the full ones with face mask.
*hops on super train to hell*
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie who?
Angelina Jolie Taxi
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"Shut up, brain!" I replied. "You're not the boss of me! Come on, vagina! Let's get out of here, away from the party pooper trying to ruin our fun."