The Kardashians Debut Their Newest Adorable Money Maker

August 8, 2012 / Posted by:

Here’s that innocent moment in every Kardashian girl’s life right before Pimp Mama Kris grabs her, dips her in a bucket of bronzer, stuffs her with butt implants and shoves her out onto the stroll to add to the Kardashian family fortune by winking at every camera pointing at her. Since UsWeekly waved the largest stack of cash at PMK, they won the EXCLUSIVO rights to publish the first pictures of Kourtney Kardashian’s second kid, 1-month-old Penelope Scotland Disick. Kourtney was holding that large stack of cash in her left hand (it was PMK’s idea), but UsWeekly Photoshopped it out, because they felt it was overkill. Good move.

During the interview, Kourtney slow drooled out a bunch of words that you probably don’t care about, but she did say that, “Nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with her.” Kourtney spits out words slower than a snail with heat stroke spits out a long-winded queef, so my guess is that UsWeekly’s reporter got inpatient, turned the recorder off and went to get lunch before she could finish that sentence. Kourtney obviously went on to say, “……and nothing could prepare me for how hard I fell in love with the big stack of cash you just gave me for this interview.

And you need to slap yourself raw if you’re wondering where Scott Sickdick is. Please, Scott Isadick’s job here is done for now. Scott provided the baby batter needed to keep the Kardashian’s fame whore legacy going, so now he can spend his days doing whatever he wants, which includes shopping at Barney’s for silk ascots to wear around his dick. Or he’s partaking in PMK’s favorite afternoon time activity. Every afternoon, Scott and Lamar gather in PMK’s backyard and help Bruce Jenner look for his nuts. It’s called the Jenner Egg Hunt and nothing makes PMK cackle more than watching Bruce look behind the bushes for his huevos when she knows that she gave them to her maker Lucifer a long time ago. The dark orb in PMK’s chest grows stronger every time poor Bruce jumps out of the bushes holding a shriveled olive and shouts, “I think I found one!

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