Joan Rivers vs. Costco

August 8, 2012 / Posted by:

The chunkiest moose knuckle I’ve ever witnessed live with my own eyes was in the freezer section of a Costco and it was on a dude who was 30 pounds of sweet sugar in a 5 pound sack made of stretchy sweat pants. So, Costco will let a moose knuckle that almost kicked me to the ground stroll through their aisles, but they won’t carry a bestselling book with some semi R-rated words on its back cover. That bestselling book was written by Joan Rivers and she isn’t having it. Joan is not one to let  a shameless STUNT QUEEN opportunity pass her by, so she crashed into the Costco in Burbank, CA and staged her own protest.

TMZ has video of Joan comparing Costco to Nazi Germany for banning her book “I Hate Everyone Starting With Me.” Joan screamed out some things about Costco burning the bible next before she awkwardly handcuffed herself to a woman’s cart. If I was that lady, I’d be farting out piss. How dare Joan Rivers take her cart hostage when she’s got 18 boxes of frozen pretzels to buy and free samples of delicious corn dogs to eat. But the lady took it well and laughed with Joan until the cops came. The cops told Joan to leave and she did. Joan later told the local ABC station that Costco is messing with her First Amendment rights:

“Costco, who sells condoms by the pallet, who sells Paula Deen books and—which is not good for their customers’ health—they decided to ban my book. This is a store that sells 300 rolls of toilet paper at the same time, and I say any customer that buys 300 rolls of toilet paper deserves a funny book to sit on the toilet and read.”

Costco isn’t giving in to Joan by selling her book, but she did get a lot of free publicity out of the stunt and sold around 150 books to customers in the parking lot.

If there was a Costco near me and I was a member of it, I would totally boycott them for boycotting semi R-rated words like “shit” and “fuck“! Okay, I’m lying. No, I wouldn’t. I would still go to Costco, because where else can I get a few servings of moose knuckle and corn dog bits?

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