This was everywhere yesterday and I was about to post it, but I stopped myself, because it’s just TOO perfect and I kept waiting for the words “Written & Directed by Christopher Guest” to pop up on the screen at the very end. But The Smoking Gun says that this isn’t a parody and it’s made of one hundred percent Marcus Bachmann realness. Cam from Modern Family’s gayer, slightly less-bearish, closeted dumb ass second cousin LIVES!
TSG says that 65-year-old real estate broker and pink shirt aficionado Michael Leisner is a gay-hating crazy who regularly posts videos on YouTube where he shits up hate at Obama, Bill Maher and Barney Frank for making this country a gayer place. Speaking of making this world a gayer place, Michael staged his own protest on the lawn of the General Mills Headquarters in Minnesota over the weekend, because of their support for same-sex marriage and because Cheerios look like the freshly fucked b-holes of power bottoms. Obviously. As two teenagers giggled at his stupid bitch foolery, Michael tried to really show those gay-loving heathens at General Mills that he means business by torching a box of Honey Nut Cheerios on the front lawn of their headquarters. What was supposed to be a serious protest turned into (read in Madeline Kahn’s voice if you know what’s good) flame, flames, flaaaames on the side of the lawn.
I know Michael Leisner thinks my gay soul will burn in a bowl on top of a wooden stool in front of the GM headquarters in Hell, but I have to thank him for making Honey Nut Cheerios taste extra sweet thanks to this act of total buffoonery. Dumb bitch nutted honey over everyone’s Cheerios with this mess. Michael told TSG that he thought General Mills’ lawn was “saturated” with water and that he didn’t think the flames of LOLs would spread. Michael also said that he knows there’s a chance the police might want to speak to him about burning shit on private property.
Well, at least this dumb ass can walk away from this knowing that he has made thousands laugh by out-flaming a box of flaming Honey Nut Cheerios all in the name of gay (and Toucan Sam) hate.