Night Crumbs

In 30 years when we’re all thinking about the 2012 Summer Olympics, we probably won’t remember Michael Phelps winning his 22nd medal or dumb bitches getting on Gabby Douglas’ hair, but we will remember how the entire Internet wondered whether or not American rower Henrik Rummel’s crotch oar was in the fuck-ready position or the pee-ready position during the medal ceremony.   – OMG Blog

Gawker goes that Pulitzer by interviewing Henrik Rummel about BONERGATE. But Gawker really should’ve interviewed the star of all of this: Henrik’s peen – Gawker

Kelly Taylor looks…well…damn…at least those bejeweled grenade earrings are sort of cute? – Lainey Gossip

Jake Gyllenhaal’s current beard might be the longest beard relationship he’s ever had. One for the beard record books – Towleroad

Choupette Lagerfeld finally gets her own magazine spread – Celebitchy

That hair makes Miley Cyrus look like Henery Hawk in drag – Drunken Stepfather

That moment when a broke ass Johnny Depp look-alike gets touched by EEElegance - Hollywood Tuna 

Sports Illustrated: Meth Faces in Swimsuits Edition – The Superficial 

Sofia Vergara’s faux baby bump still looks more realistic than Beyonce’s - Popsugar

Penny Cruz’s sister posing in lingerie on the Saw set, because it’s Tuesday and why not? – Popoholic

That touching, beautiful moment when one of Wonky McValtrex’s victims realize that a mutant strain of the herp is eating his peen – ICYDK

C.C. Babcock is a silver fox now - The Berry 

The tang is overflowing thanks to this extra special picture of Fist Brown - Crunk + Disorderly

Oh please, you know Kanye West’s pet name for his b-hole is “Perfect Bitch” – SOW

If you’re thinking that Mila Kunis is looking a little bloated, you’d be bloated too if you were sucking out hot farts from Ashton Kucher’s peen hole – Cityrag

Please tell me Stuart Smalley is Katie Holmes’ confidence coach – I’m Not Obsessed

RiRi got dropped by Nivea, but I’m sure Thunderbird vodka will pick her up in no time - Hollywood Rag 

Zac Efron, wipe that mascara stache from your upper lip and get back to being the pretty pretty princess we all know and love – Just Jared